A&E with DD14 overdose posting for hand hold please

[Tinkerbellone]

I'm sat with DD14. She's taken 17 paracetamols after social media nastiness from girls at her school.
So worried. We got here within 30 min.
They've given her active charcoal. Has anyone had similar happen? Advice handhold please. I'm single mum and so worried. Xx

Hi OP . I hope you are ok ! I sincerely hope your daughter is recovering and she gets the help that she deserves.X💐

Big squeezy hand-hold, OP. What horrid kids to torment your DD like this, and I'm sorry to say it was no better in the '80s when I was at school -- it was just done via verbal gossip rather than SM, and tho the teachers knew about it they did not know how to deal with it.

My DD is 14 too, and has had a tricky time in the past two years. What has helped is getting her into non-school activities, such as dancing and music theatre, that she loves and where she has made new friends and gained a better perspective of her abilities. The high school social scene is not quite as important to her now.

Whatever you decide, I hope your DD finds her tribe via sport, music, fashion, theatre, IT, science; these opportunities are out there. Then she can say "Yeah, whatever" (as we Gen X ppl do) to the nasties.

You must be so worried! How awful for your daughter to have suffered from these vile individuals, so much so, it has lead to this!

They should be named and shamed, no matter how old they are! Hope the school they attend will take this bullying seriously.

You sound like a lovely caring mum, and I hope your daughter makes a quick recovery and she doesn’t have to endure any more nastiness from these vile individuals

A handhold to you, and you and your daughter will get through this together. 🌺

I’m so sorry. Sending you the biggest hug. Your daughter has a lot of people in her (and your) corner right now, rooting for her and sending love.

Decades ago, when social media was just taking off, my best friends sister twice took an overdose after bullying and nasty comments about her appearance online. The school didn’t have a clue what they were dealing with and so nothing was done. She recovered but without specialist support, developed negative coping mechanisms including an eating disorder and a shift in sexual behaviour - her self esteem was knocked and she wanted to find a way to feel attractive and in control. By the time she left school she was popular but at a high cost to her development.

I still think about her often. The issues are better understood now; I wonder how she might have faired differently today. Its awful that she and her family went through something so traumatic without help.

I hope that a difference for your daughter and family might be that support is quickly found to process the trauma of the bullying and the overdose. Coping with trauma is something I do have experience with. Getting specialist trauma therapy with a child and adolescent psychologist trained in EMDR as well as CBT will give her the best chance of recovering positively. If you pursue this, take the time to find the right fit, someone who is well reviewed and qualified, and who offers a short session to see if it feels like a good fit for your daughter.

There might be resources via Dove and brands like that who are campaigning against harm to girls’ self esteem from social media. Information that, sadly, will show that you’re not alone, that this is happening a lot. Perhaps with some advice.

Thinking about you both, sending so much love and warmth. I truly hope that she recovers fully and soon, and that in due course, she’s able to grow from the experience. x

I was bullied dreadfully at school though I did have friends, the music crowd. People used to keep saying that your school days were the best days of your life and I found this immensely depressing because if this was the best bit I couldn't imagine what the rest must be like. I think for many schoolchildren these are the worst days. I escaped to university and a decent social life, and an exciting (well it is more exciting on television) and well paid career. I met my husband and we travelled quite a bit - nice vacations in tropical resorts included. I'd keep telling your daughter it is going to get better. I can't even put a name to those catty little witches who ganged up on me because they are just not important to me now in any way. I'm sure they haven't made much of themselves and are now sad older people reliving their glory days as Queen Bees of the high school scene.

thinking of you both in very hard times.

firstly make sure she get physiological support on the other side of this and don’t get fobbed off.

secondly while it isn’t right unfortunately schools are piss poor at dealing with bullying and most of the SMT will probably placate you with the right words about looking into it, zero tolerance etc. chances are absolutely nothing will change for your daughter.

my advise don’t waste your time or your daughters health trying to go through that route. Fire off a email to the county council/council child safeguarding unit for education and then move your daughter from that school asap. Use the above email to ensure that you get a spot.

wirh summer approaching it’s a good time for it to happen as any as she will start in the new year with a new class rather than having a summer of dread

Involve every power that be and seek proper and true punishment for the bullies. Suspension / expulsion. I would also consider a change of school as an added angle, because no child should suffer like that.

Sending a big squeeze to you both. Your post sent shivers through me as I was a victim of horrendous bullying too. I caused myself regular physical harm to have time off school. My parents arranged a school change across the summer holidays and I started afresh. The last 3 years of my schooling were very happy and I'll be forever grateful for that. I hope she's feeling better soon.

Sending love thoughts prayers and warm wishes to both your DD and indeed yourself.
I f**kin despise bullies. If I had my way it'd be made a criminal offence.

I would get her out of that school asap.

Delete all social media immediately so she is totally uncontactable, new email address, just vanish.

Time for a fresh start in sept or january, consider home education or some other route.

When it has gotten this bad, there is no way back in the former setting (environment and people). The school can put all sorts of plans in place, the LEA can get involved and so on, but no one can watch over her 24/7 to make sure this doesnt happen again.

I would even consider moving home, getting away, fresh start and a bit of hope

Lots of love op, hope she’s ok xx

Wishing you and your daughter all the very best...

As an aside, are you on her social media account/s as a friend/family member so you can see what occurs? i did this with DD for her FB account, but she was targeted through snapchat (I think it was) where the post only lives for 24 hours. I believe she deleted her snapchat afterwards.

SM bullies (from my observations since) don't handle/do real life after school very well. Just another tadpole in the creek...

Please take her out of school.

I was almost where your DD is at a similar age. We didn't have social media then but girls can be vile.

A question for you and your DD, did she want to kill herself or did she just want to stop the pain?

It is probably the latter, so take her out of school and if you can, I don't know how these tings work, get some sort of restraining order against them so they re not able to contact them again.

Sending positive thoughts, and my cat has just decided to try to sit on me so virtual cat fluffy belly for you to virtually stroke.

Thank you everyone. We are home. She was given the active charcoal at 9:45 and we had blood tests at 1am. They came back at 3am and she's been discharged.
She has her usual CAMHS group therapy on Tuesday so they're happy she has something in place.

I can't thank you all enough for everyone one of you who took the time to send love advice and hugs and sharing your experiences. You're all so so kind. I felt not alone ❤️ xx

Hey,
My niece unfortunately committed suicide a few years ago now due to bullies. Please just remove your dd from the school. It will not get better. My brother wishes he just removed her after the first incident.

I know all children have a right to an education and it is extremely important, but not at the cost of their mental health / life.

Really feeling for you both right now, huge handhold and cuddle. Keep talking and allow yourself to go through all the emotions and allow your dd the same. Take care x

Glad you are home, try to get some sleep, and if you can't then I'm sure there will be someone on here to chat to.

I am glad she is home now. Please try and get some sleep. 💐💐💐💐

So glad you're both home safe. Sending love ❤️

A handhold from me, I am so sorry that you and your DD are going through this.

Please report to the police first and foremost, it falls under malicious communications and should be taken very seriously. Gather as much evidence as possible from your DD’s phone.

Update the school; tutor, HoY, pastoral, DSL and Headteacher. Hopefully your DD will share the names of those behind this. Arrange a meeting and seek reassurance on the measures that will be put in place at school (seating plans, safe spaces, mentoring, who to see for urgent support, the journey to/from school, protocols if your DD doesn’t turn up for a lesson etc)

I would remove your DD from SM to give her a break from the bullies. If changing schools is an option for you, definitely explore this. A fresh start can be beneficial, but SM also means that children have vast networks across multiple schools and word travels fast, be mindful of this.

Take all the support you are offered. Empower your DD, find ways to boost her self-esteem and confidence. Make her realise that life is worth living and she is so much better than them. Encourage her to take up a hobby to widen her friendship circle (if she’s sporty, girls football could be worth exploring, for example) and to give her a release.

Wishing your DD a speedy recovery and a bright and happy future 💐

I am so sorry you are going through this....I did the same at 17....so an adult....but because of hurt. Didnt even think about parents....but I took a lot more paracetamol....had to have a blood bypass with blood going through charcoal....so they had to do a vein cut down...they cut both arms at the elbow and one they couldnt get to work....so did another at the top of the thigh....but he dropped the scalpel first....I was 18, laid naked on a table with 3 medics and 14 student medics. The consultant was angry and berated me the entire time. I was in Kings for two weeks...by that time I had a raging infection in my thigh wound...and couldnt walk. The sister on the ward told me I was a lazy, self indulgent pain. I was sent home then rushed into the local hospital when the wound burst that night. 3 months of wound dressing...six months of antibiotics. From that I learnt a lot. I went on to be a nurse, and worked with overdose cases for some time. I looked after these patients properly. This is a cry for help, your daughter needs for these girls to be stopped. Talk to the school and make sure they know how bad this is. You want the girls involved to be brought into school with their parents and they need to learn a very hard lesson from this. You may need to find a different school and she most certainly needs a counsellor to talk to and to learn coping mechanisms. I wish you all well.

Been thinking about your DD. How is she feeling today? Hope you both manage to get some sleep

Bless her little heart . 💕 big hugs

What kind of families do these girls come from?

That would decide my next move.

Many people do not realise that cyber bullying is a crime and should be reported to the police. Take screenshots and report via 101.

They should also be reported to the app provider who can review, retrieve historic deleted messages in some instances, delete offensive messages and delete accounts.

Also, of course, report to school and let them know the police have been informed.

A child at my DC school was suspended then expelled for cyber bullying and received a police caution. There’s nothing like standing in front of the police with your parents to stop you ever doing it again.

So pleased you are both home. Please take this further with the school. The children (near adults) near to know the consequences of their appalling behaviour.