My mum thinks I am depressed

[nutcracker]

My first thought was 'shit someone noticed, thats bad'.

God she has yet again, made me so bloody angry.

It makes me want to prove her wrong, and then I remember that I can't actually do that.

Sorry, I know I am rambling, but she makes me so mad. She hasn't even got kids and ears alot of money so she has no idea what the hell she is talking about.

Some friend , drop her . You can prove her wrong though, just by going and doing something different , even if it is to find a course to feel better about yourself. If you get out of the house regularly and do something interesting to you, you may well meet people who can guide you towards a more fulfilled role - perhaps a job, voluntary work, training etc. The results may not be immediate or tangible enough for the likes of her but you may well feel differently in yourself.

But it is you who has to gather enough get up and go to follow up any opportunities in the first instance, they won't just come to you. If you need help in starting along that road , maybe even just talking to your gp could help ?

Can't drop her unfortunatly, as I am due to be bridesmaid for her in August. Plus our parents are friends.

I jujst wish she wouldn't go on about it so much when she has no clue what she is on about.

She mentioned that she'd always found it easy to get part time jobs when at college and uni, but fails to realise that I don't even have any gsces (well 2) where as she has gcses, alevels, and a degree.

I agree that I need to do something, but at the moment there is absolutly nothing that makes me think 'yeah i'd enjoy that' and I feel like if I get into something that I don't like, I will be stuck as I can't fail again.

where does she work? Cant she see if they have some PT work where she is? ( seeing as she is sooo concerned with what you are up to)

With regards to dinner lady- of course its not the best job in the world, but it would give you some extra cash for the time being and you are more employable to future employers if you have some recent work. Would fit in around children aswell - you can still look for other things to do.
What happened with the college course in Library and info services? any joy?

Maybe you do need to force yourself into something, but something which has a clear purpose such as the basic skills ones. You don't pass or fail as such. It can't do any harm to be able to show, to potential employers and friends alike, that you can stick at something and it may only be for 5 or 10 weeks initially anyway, or could eventually could lead to qualifications which might count towards a more long term vocational course, should you decide to do one.

As regards "friend" have you told her to lay off ? Seem to remember she has been a pita before now. Tell her her comments are unhelpful.

She is a probhation officer, which she actually hates.

I know dinner lady sounds ideal due to hours etc but I just don't want to do it, and i think it would make me feel worse.

I have got some info on the information and library nvq but it doesn't run again now until Sept and it is in Wolverhampton so not sure I can get there.

Hardley anywhere does it for some reason.

I think she will have got the message that I am pissed off from my reply.

She has replied and apologised, saying at the end of the day I should do what makes me happy and not what she or anyone else think.

Did you think about my suggestion of volunteering to work in a library?
You don't hear of many nvq courses because mostly they are done while you are employed.

nutty at the risk of sounding pushy have a look here and search by your area. Some started this week in your region, I think, but a several are in the next week or two. No idea if any are near enough to you anyway though.

Hello nutcracker. I hate it so much when life feels like it does for you right now. How long has this been going on?

At least your friend had a complete turnaround. Maybe she is desperate to help. It's hard to know exactly how to provide the right words, the right support for someone sometimes.

tbh it sounds more like your friend was just replying to emails you've probably sent her sounding very much like this thread.
She sounds like she is trying to help, encourage yuou etc etc but you really just seem on a downer about everything.
I would talk to your gp, I really would.

Thanks LIZ, but non of their courses are anywhere near me. I tried searching using my postcode, but they are still too far. I have to be able to get there and back in between school runs.

Good site though, not seen that one before.

That's a shame. There's a course called Helping in Schools which might be worth keeping an eye out for.

I don't generally mention jobs or courses to her dooley as she always ends up having a bit of a go, and today was a perfect example. She brought it up and then when I didn't give her the answer she wanted (ie yes i will get a job as a dinner lady) then she always starts going on about peple she knows that seem to manage etc.

Thanks LIZ

I have just found an OU course that i am interested in but it wouldn't help towards a job as it's not that type of course.

hiya nutty

i thjink you may be a touch depressed.

i'm not going to nag you to get a job, but i do think you need to find something to do during the day, just to keep you focused. are you near a council leisure centre at all? i know you dont drive. but out local council lesuire centre does a card for a yearly fee for people on benefits for £5, then all sessions at the pool and gym are basically half price. i havent yet ventured to the gym part, but i go to aquafit once a week and enjoy it. its just soemthing t that i like and it gets me out of the house. dh is very content to sit at home all day and it drives me mad as i want to go out, but feel guilty if i leave him alone.

i have also recently done a short face painting course as well which was run by the college, didnt have to provide anything, all provided for me. was done through surestart and the college i think.

and why do [people think because you have kids, that you want to work with them? i have had people saying to me 'oh you could be a dinner lady/childminder/TA etc etc'. apparently it happens a lot.

Any course can count towards a job whether vocational or not. It is the discpline and skills you acquired that you have to sell on your cv rather than necessarily the content.

so what if it doesnt go towards a job, if you tbink you will enjoy it, do it!

dh is looking at Ou courses, anythign to get his brain working, so far is uindecided on jopb as well.

Hi Misdee

Do you go on your own to the aquafit on your own ?? I am not sure I could. It sounds really sad but I have become a bit fearful of going anywhere on my own.
Our council pool is also shut until Dec 08 aswell which is a right pain in the ass cos I also can't take the kids swimming then.

The OU course is Start writing fiction. I loved doing this at school, and again when I did English for a bit at college, plus the tutor said I was good at it so at least i'd not feel out of my depth.

What is your dh looking to do Misdee ?

It doesn't start until May though which is a bit of a bummer.

i was lookign at the creative writing course , dh is looking at understanding mangement course on OU (he was supervisior at supermarket).

i go to aquafit with my mum, but have been on my own as well as my mum isnt always well or is busy. i have also started running, am just off out in a bit to go for a run.

I read about you running and remember thinking, 'I just could not do that'.

My mum was interested in doing aquafit but she works shifts so couldn't always go either, plus as I said the pool is shut still.

I need to start doing something before I go mad. I don't even do anything with the kids at all anymore.

Can you join a book group ? You can't really write unless you've read plenty and dissected it, and know what you like and dislike. Good way to read stuff you might not normally pick from the shelves yourself . Library may run one or have contact details.