If someone you knew killed themselves what would you want them to have said

ididntevennotice · 22/03/2022 23:35

That's a strange thing to wonder OP, are you ok?

LemonMuffins · 22/03/2022 23:37

You alright?

I wouldn't want them to say anything. I'd want them to not act and ask me for help instead.

nocoolnamesleft · 22/03/2022 23:47

I'd want them to have asked for help, so they didn't kill themselves.

ExcuseeeeMe · 22/03/2022 23:48

Are you ok OP here to chat if you need too ?

Original poster

hellosunshineagainx · 22/03/2022 23:55

I'll be honest. I have had help before and got better but then came off medication in the summer.

Recognised I was struggling three weeks ago but still waiting for support, my initial meeting is scheduled for the 29th.

I just feel like I can't just rinse and repeat this for the rest of my life.

My little boy has a mild cough but can't get a pcr in my area they have closed them so can only do postal pcr which means will the length it takes for that to come and then length of result he will he off childcare all week. I'm a freelancer so still have deadlines which means I will be working until the early hours every day to cope. I don't have any local family support.

It's not just that it's just the constant normal challenges of life I can't deal with. I admit the past two years have probably been worse because I have been so isolated but nothing is improving. I have said all of this and more time and time again to my fiance, family and friends including the past couple of weeks. Just had enough. I'm only still here for my little boy or I would be long gone.

OP posts:

Sienna9522 · 22/03/2022 23:55

OP, are you ok? I’d want them to talk to me before acting. Inbox is open if you need a chat… I’ve worked in MH for over 10 years

Sienna9522 · 22/03/2022 23:56

Worded that wrong. I most definitely would not want anyone suffering to act on their thoughts!

WelshyMaud · 23/03/2022 00:02

Keep thinking of your little boy op. He's worth sticking around for x

PutinSmellsPassItOn · 23/03/2022 00:05

Id want them to write ' im still here'

And id want them to hand deliver it to me so we can work things out together.

Confuzzlediddled · 23/03/2022 00:11

I would have wanted my brother to tell me how he felt, maybe I could have helped. Talk to the people offering help op, your little boy would want you to

Juniper68 · 23/03/2022 00:14

I had a friend who was suicidal. I made them promise to come and see me before they did anything. They did , got help and are still here years later. They're happy.

Please get all the help there is.

HalfShrunkMoreToGo · 23/03/2022 00:14

Get help please OP.

I say this as the child of a mother who hung herself. There is literally nothing she could have written in a letter to explain or make me feel better. What I needed was my mum.

So get help.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 23/03/2022 00:27

@HalfShrunkMoreToGo

Get help please OP.

I say this as the child of a mother who hung herself. There is literally nothing she could have written in a letter to explain or make me feel better. What I needed was my mum.

So get help.

I'm so sorry, I can't imagine your pain

Original poster

hellosunshineagainx · 23/03/2022 00:32

I have tried to get help, three weeks ago. Don't get to speak to anyone until the 29th. My partner cares about me but clearly has enough on his plate as I don't think he is taking what I have said to him seriously he says I just have to get on with things.

My best friend is having a mental health crisis of her own right now which I have supported her through.

I have been ill every two weeks since October. Had covid in December but that was actually the mildest illness I have had. I had a throat infection at the beginning of this month which I had antibiotics for. Now I am ill again which seems to he turning into a chest infection. I had two days off at xmas but that's it since the previous xmas.

I'm just so worn down by life. I can't 'do' life. Every single thing is a struggle and it all just piles up. I'm not a good mum, if I wasn't around my partner could find someone better than me for both him and my gorgeous little boy

OP posts:

MrsTerryPratchett · 23/03/2022 00:34

Recognised I was struggling three weeks ago but still waiting for support, my initial meeting is scheduled for the 29th.

Recognised is different from planning a farewell note. This is an emergency. If you are planning, call 999. If sounds like you need something before the 29th.

Your fiancé, little boy and friends need you.

MrsTerryPratchett · 23/03/2022 00:35

Your brain is lying to you. No one is better for your boy than you. No one else is his mum.

NeededAction · 23/03/2022 00:43

Hi OP, the Samaritans number is 116 123 and you can call them free anytime, from any phone. I know they cannot wave a magic wand but they are a potential resource to help you through to the 29th.
Sending positive vibes your way

Original poster

hellosunshineagainx · 23/03/2022 00:44

It's ok I won't kill myself tonight, the question was just somewhere my mind went to

OP posts:

NeededAction · 23/03/2022 00:45

…”from any phone”.. *in the UK I believe! (My apologies if this is not relevant for you)

FlouncingBabooshka · 23/03/2022 00:50

OP, please look at the attached link. There are several numbers, including the Samaritans that may be helpful. There are many people out there who want to help. They are many people alive today - and happy to be so - because they’ve sought help from these organisations.

Whatever you think right now OP, your little boy needs you.

www.supportline.org.uk/problems/suicide/

tava63 · 23/03/2022 00:53

Honestly you won’t rinse and repeat this, MrsTerryPratchett is right your brain is tricking you. Your wee boy loves you and you love him. Phone the Samaritans they will stay with you and help get through these few hours until your thoughts calm down.

urbanbuddha · 23/03/2022 00:54

I'd want them to have said "I'm sorry". This happened to relatives - when they were children their parent killed themself. They live with it every day and it has shaped them.

Nearlyshitmypantsthere · 23/03/2022 00:58

@hellosunshineagainx you can do life because you are strong!!! You have a beautiful boy and you are his World!! Please stay strong and hang in there. Speak to anyone you can for help and advice or just to get things off your chest, or just keep posting on here, we will listen 💐❤

AuntTwacky · 23/03/2022 00:59

@hellosunshineagainx

I have tried to get help, three weeks ago. Don't get to speak to anyone until the 29th. My partner cares about me but clearly has enough on his plate as I don't think he is taking what I have said to him seriously he says I just have to get on with things.

My best friend is having a mental health crisis of her own right now which I have supported her through.

I have been ill every two weeks since October. Had covid in December but that was actually the mildest illness I have had. I had a throat infection at the beginning of this month which I had antibiotics for. Now I am ill again which seems to he turning into a chest infection. I had two days off at xmas but that's it since the previous xmas.

I'm just so worn down by life. I can't 'do' life. Every single thing is a struggle and it all just piles up. I'm not a good mum, if I wasn't around my partner could find someone better than me for both him and my gorgeous little boy

No one but no one is better for your little boy than you. You are his mum he needs you to stick around

ExcuseeeeMe · 23/03/2022 04:06

You sound like an amazing strong person to me. If you need the help now phone them in the morning . Your little boy needs you .