Emetophobia - terrified of this sickness bug

[nellyraggbagg]

This sounds so stupid, but I'm completely terrified of the children (not to mention DH and me) catching this Norovirus that's doing the rounds. I've been emetophobic for as long as I can remember, and it has become even worse since having children. Every time they open their mouths, I'm terrified they're going to say they feel sick. When I go to bed at night, my last waking thought is: "Oh my God, what if they're sick in the night?" My DH is working away a lot at the moment, which makes matters even worse (he is good at dealing with sick, thank goodness!!) I have dealt with both children being sick (I have found that manic cleaning helps very slightly to take my mind off the blind panic), but am rigid with fear following newspaper reports of this current bug. How will I pick DS up from school if DD and/or I get it? My Mum is miles away, unfortunately. And what if DH gets it? I don't know how I'd cope if he were sick. Please, please help, someone - even if just by saying that I'm not the only person who feels like this!

Yes, I am always on my guard, always asking my DCs if they feel ok. Fortunately though I don't think I have passed on my anxieties to them. They are both pretty calm about being sick and now that they are a bit older (12 and nearly 10) they usually have a good idea when it's going to happen and can get to the loo or use a bowl.

My DS was sick earlier today (only once so don't think its Noro) but dealt with it totally by himself - went to the bathroom and locked the door. Although I heard him, I didn't actually see anything or have to clear up. He came out and calmly announced that he'd been sick, but was OK (now why the hell can't I do that if a 12 year old can??!!)

If I feel sick (which I often do), I lie awake for hours, trembling, drinking tiny sips of water, clutching an ice pack (don't ask me why!) till I eventually feel better. Then I feel angry with myself for being so pathetic.

Welcome Tarantulip too. Yes - to other people we seem like we are completely irrational - it is so reassuring to know there are plenty of others like us. Having kids makes it worse as they are much more prone to getting these nasty bugs that do the rounds. Do you know yet what was wrong with your DS?

Nelly - I will hope and pray the child in your Ds's class does not have the noro virus. There are lots of reasons why they could be off so.

Am off to read the Newstatesman link now - could do with a laugh

Hi notalone. I think DS just has a bad cold. He's got a cough, runny nose, headache, shivery etc, so hopefully the sickness was just an additional symptom rather than anything more alarming . I'm off to bed now - hope everyone has a peaceful night - will hopefully post more tomorrow.

Well I typed the link in wrong and realised I was trying to make sense from a site about Norton anti virus software. Think I may actually be going slightly mad, either that or my eyes need testing Finally found it though and it is quite reassuring. Especially the bit about there being a toothache epidemic - puts it all into proportion really!!!

Tarantulip - just re read your post about what you do if you feel sick. I think we all have these little feel better rituals. I never go to bed without a hairband on my wrist so I can tie my hair back if I feel sick and have to V in the night. I make sure my anti emetics are to hand along with a glass of water and try to make sure the washing basket is as empty as possible at all times in case we all come down with something and suddenly there is loads of extra washing. Well at least I never run out of clean undies so one good thing has come out of it . Does anyone else have these little rituals to reassure them?

Posts crossed Tarantulip.

Good news in a strange way for you. DP is often sick if he has flu so it could well be an additional symptom. Sleep well and speak tomorrow. Wishing everyone a peaceful uninterrupted nights sleep

Evening everyone. Hope all is good with you. DS is still poorly and off school, but it is definitely a flu type illness, not Noro (panic has subsided for now).

Notalone - interested to read in your post from last night that you have anti-emetics. Can I ask if these are prescription meds or over the counter? I have never thought of trying to get hold of some, but would be greatly reassured by their presence in the house!

Going out for dinner tonight with DP, which will be great but will undoubtedly lead to anxiety later about whether I've eaten something that will make me sick. I have read somewhere that some emetophobes refuse point blank to eat out. I do try hard not to let it rule my life, but don't always succeed. I do go out to restaurants but I am always careful what I order - guess who won't be having the seafood platter ?

i seem to have missed rather a lot over the last couple of days... some very interesting emetophobia chat though... i especially love love love the newstatesman link, thanks bb!

welcome to tarantulip... emetophobia doesn't mix well with my and dh's love of food (and eating out, not that we do it that often since having ds) and i am exactly the same... always so careful about what i order. it is a shame because i have tried and loved things like prawns etc but would absolutely never ever eat one (never order any seafood/chicken for fear of it being undercooked etc and if i order eggs or fish i always ask for v v well cooked ) am sad but also glad that someone else scours the menu for 'safe' choices and than goes home to bed to panic they may have eaten something to make them sick... i am so the same.

and going back to the worse at night problem. yup, the same for me too. some days i can have barely thought about v (sadly can't remember the last time that was though with all the noro hoohaa) but the minute i get into bed, panic and fear hit.

and back to the question of the last time we were actually sick... well, i hadn't been sick since severe salmonella aged 5... until last year... i was actually sick on 3 separate occasions, the first being an awful al nighter (my biggest fear), the second was rotavirus from ds and the third was some bizarre one off. so i feel like i am back in the v game, if i can be so crass as to call it that. my body has changed in so many ways since having ds and starting to be sick again after almost 30 years is just one of them

so, ds has a stinky cold, we fly to SA tomorrow night and i am constantly going through in my mind what will happen if we all catch noro on the plane/airport and get sick in SA (or worse on a 12 hour flight)my stomach has been really crampy today. am sure it is nerves. am basically terrified right now. and my hand luggage is full to capacity with wipes & anti bac gel! as lovely as dh is, he is not often too patient/sympathetic with my emet and will probably have a fit if he catches a glimpse...aaarrrrggggh, i hate being like this.

Hello again everyone

Tarantulip - I have both. I have stemetil which is prescription only and you can also get something called Buccastem which is an over the counter medication and is actually a weaker version of stemetil. Buccastem is placed under your lip where it dissolves and Stemetil consists of very small tablets. If you go to your GP and explain the situation you may be able to get these. Not all are sympathetic though sadly. My previous GP was great after I assured her I would only take them if I felt sick and not all the time. However I moved house and now have an awful GP who made me cry as I had to beg for them to be prescribed again. He made me feel like a drug addict but eventually did prescribe them. I don't take them a lot but I do if I feel ill and I ensure I always have them on me. They are also sedatives though and you will feel rubbish the next day if you take them in the midle of the night but that is better imo than feeling sick. I had too much to drink last new year and I took them then. God, that night was awful and I spent the night on the bathroom floor spinning, crying and feeling very ill but I wasnt sick so I think they do work . If you have a look on an emetophobia website called Gut Reaction they have a breakdown of all the anti emetics available and will give you all the info you need.

In response to previous posts I never eat out either. I simply don't trust any food that has been prepared away from me. Also DP used to be a chef and has seen first hand what goes on in some kitchens and some of it isn't nice

Zonedout - I am sure it is just nerves re tomorrow. How long are you going for? You will be fine and are escaping the norovirus panic for a while - am lol

That is weird that you were not sick for all that time then a triple whammy in one year. Did it make your fears better afterwards because you had, in a way, faced the unknown, or did it reinforce your fear? How did you cope when you were ill at the time?

Just reread my last post and I don't want to scare people re restaurant kitchens. DP was never in any way unhygenic and would never use out of date food, and a lot of his chef friends are the same. Also not every restaurant has a bad kitchen. Guess I just need to do what everyone else is doing and make my choices wisely rather than bowing out completely.

Thanks bb, I will try my best to enjoy tonight for what it is - a nice evening out, rather than another cause for panic.

Hi zonedout - sending you lots of positive vibes for your trip - I'm sure your cramps are just due to nerves, I always get like that before I travel anywhere, but especially abroad. Instead of thinking about what a fab holiday I'm going to have, all I can think about is "OMG what if I'm sick?"

I have long entertained the idea that if I could just manage to be sick once that I would suddenly think "hey that's not so bad, can't think what I've been worrying about all these years". But obviously this wasn't the case for you - as you have been sick recently and still have the phobia.

Evening all!

Zonedout: good luck with your mammoth journey. As notalone says, at least you're avoiding the noro epidemic by going away!! I'll have my fingers crossed for you...

Eating out: I can (now) bring myself to do it. I remember driving my Mum insane when I was about 11 by refusing to go to McDonalds in case it made me sick (and I was right: DH got food poisoning from McDs about 20 yrs ago!!!!!) I am less bad about eating out now, but always go for the vegetarian option even though I'm not veggie - I always think meat won't be cooked properly (especially chicken - wouldn't touch it with a bargepole in a restaurant), and seafood is an absolute no-no (when a friend invited me for seafood, I said I was allergic, just so I didn't have to explain my phobia). But I wouldn't buy a Morrisons fresh French bread today in case a noro-infected hand had been on it - bought pre-packed buns instead ...

One good thing about the noro crisis is that DH has stopped picking his nose as a result of working out that he could get it that way!!!!

I can fully empathise with having a hairband to hand. When I was a teenager, I went through a phase of writing 'I was sick' in my diary for about a month in advance - then I could feel happy if it hadn't come to pass at the end of every day. Now I have never even told DH that!

I had another bad moment today, when DD went all funny before tea. She went really quiet and did sort of funny swallowing, and looked very peaky. I asked her if she was okay, and she said yes - but she didn't look good. I ran upstairs to hyperventilate, but she seemed okay half an hour later - though I'm still anxious. It really is annoying, being me.

DS's classmate is still not back, so obviously (to my mind) has noro. Fab. At least it's the weekend, so he can keep it to himself for two more days.

I've also wondered if actually getting a sick bug would help my phobia to go away, but if poor zonedout's experience is anything to go by, it wouldn't.

Hope you enjoyed your meal out, Tarantulip -and that your DS is getting better.

tarantulip, thanks for the positive vibes! goodness, i am so the same; dh has come home from work all excited and i am too busy being consumed with noro/sickness fears to have any excitement for our trip. we were given two free air tickets (dh did some work with the airline) and i know we are incredibly lucky but right now i am too busy with my own selfish obssessions to be appreciating it. hope you are having a lovely, phobia free evening!

notalone, in answer to your questions - we are going for a little over two weeks (although i hear there is some noro in south africa at the mo too so may not be quite the escape you think)
re; my triple whammy of last year. well, the first and worst bug (which, come to think of it i am fairly convinced i picked up on a flight ) was absolutely horrendous to begin with. but actually, as i started to v i do remember thinking, ok this is horrid but really not as bad as i have always feared it would be. i fact, i remember dh & i actually laughing about it mid way through the night of being ill! i felt invincible for a few days after, as i no longer feared v any more as had done it a dozen or so times in a night (sorry, hope this bit isn't freaking you out... it really really wasn't too scary when it actually happened)
the next time was the rotavirus i caught from ds. he had been unbelievably sick in his puschair followed by a week of d and being very very poorly in himself. just as he was improving, i was hit by it. also v once (very bearable ime) followed by the worst d of my life (which doesn't bother me at all but did nearly end up on a drip... but to be honest was so thankful not to be v i didn't care!!!) and then i had some weird nausea thing, had a small v and was fine last spring/summer. in answer to your question, no was definitely not as bad as i had feared BUT as time passes after each 'bout' the phobic part of me forgets that and i am as scared/obssessed etc as ever. i think this has a lot to do with the unknown of it all. and a fear of choking and of it never ending. and with regards noro i think it is the severity/projetcile nature of it that i keep reading about that terrifies me so much.

sorry, really hope am not upsetting/offending anywhere with my being so explicit, hope am being of some use instead!

nelly, that post took me so long to write i x post with you... thanks for the good wishes and thanks for making me giggle with the positive results noro is havin on your dh and his nose picking...if only i could say the same for mine...

i also chuckled a knowing chuckle at you not buying the fresh bread. i am exactly the same with things like that at the mo. pre-packed wins every time. and i have taken to washing fruit with handsoap or washing up liquid before peeling in case noro hands have touched it

and funnilly enough, ds had a similar episode at tea time today. he has a cold anyway but he suddeenly looked very pale and started making funny gulping noises. my heart sank and my pulse started to race, i kept asking if he had a pain, to which he responded yes, his lip (had fallen off roundabout at playground today ) he was quite happy in the bath but fell straight to sleep (unheard of, usually takes a good 30 mins of singing/talking to teddys etc)

fingers crossed they are both fine (cue,
frantic reminding that noro starts v suddenly)

Well, I made a real Freudian slip there: DH isn't the (ex) nose-picker: it's DS!!!!

If DH ever reads this, he'll not only be even more convinced that I'm a nutcase, but he'll be divorcing me for blackening his good non-nose-picking name (though maybe that's what he gets up to while I'm posting on here, tee hee).

Zonedout - your experiences are fascinating. I know what you mean about feeling invincible, though only via the DCs. Whenever they've been sick (not that often, but often enough for it to be imprinted on my mind for ever - though I did lose track a bit when DD had rotavirus), I've felt quite unphobic for a few days afterwards (probably because I think we surely can't be unlucky enough to get one dose immediately followed by another). Then it just gradually gets worse again...

I keep reminding myself about the 'sudden onset' thing, too...

Have a lovely fortnight. I hope none of us has bad news for you on your return!

oh goodness, bb, sleepy vibes coming your way. but not too many mind, ds (2 next month) is ordinarily an abysmal sleeper (hence my crazy abnormal panic and resulting insomnia when he does sleep!!!... arrrrrgggh to me being such a damned weirdo). i genuinely can't remember the last time he slept through... and i really do need those vibes for the plane...

thank you for your incredibly constructive and kind comments on my rehash of v... food for thought, for sure (and really hope of some comfort to others here too.. am so worried i may have freaked some out by being too explicit...i just know how my mind works in this ridiculously over analytical way when reading these sorts of stories)

will check back in again tomorrow before we leave. goodness, i really think this thread and you fab people have become a bit of a crutch for me. what on earth will i do without internet for 2 weeks??!

sweet, peaceful dreams to you and dd.

oh nelly, have almost wet myself at the freudian slip. hilarious! and oops, seem to have outed my dh as a nose picker in the process

i hope nobody has any bad news either... am sure everyone will be just fine, this blimmin bug must be starting to abate by now, surely.

hmm, now i wonder if i might be able to sneak a peek on dh's blackberry to check in every now and then...

glad she is sleeping, goodnight bb.

look forward to meeting everyone over a big bowl of mussels

zonedout hope you have a great time good luck remember to pop in when you get back and tell us all about it.
Glad everybody is OK.
Norovirus has hit DD school half of the year above her were off with it on Wednesday. I am hoping the weekend will wash it out. I love the summer hols we can be outside not in crowded places etc

and I have almost wet myself at you having outed your DH, zonedout!!!
That's v bad news, needapoo. I feel for you. Thank goodness it's the weekend... and roll on the summer holidays...

Nelly, I vomited Xmas 2006 (noro caught from DD). I began to feel a bit nauseous at bed time. Lay awake all night panicking and shaking (as we do) and finally vomited at around 6am the following morning (then twice more). Despite that, my phobia is still the same, although I do know I can cope with vomiting (as long as it's not in public shudder), so maybe it's not so bad, IYSWIM.

As far as eating out's concerned - I did go through a really bad patch in my 20's. Wouldn't eat chicken, seafood etc. Panicked after every restuarant meal, takeaway etc. I'm much better now, will order prawns (my absolute favourite) if I trust the restuarant. Chicken, no problem as long as it looks cooked. (I would probably draw the line at mussels though!)

Let's organise an emtophobes meet-up! I do feel like I'm the only one.

Hi everyone, just read last night's posts - LOL at nose picking confusion .
Notalone - thanks so much for the info on anti-emetics, I will check out that site.
Nelly - ds seems to be feeling much better today, thanks, hope your dc are ok.
Needapoo - bad news re dd's school, you must be panicking - hope dd is ok.
Zoned out - really interesting to read about your experiences of v-ing. I'm full of admiration for you as you have gone through what I would consider to be my worst nightmare, and you coped!! Far from freaking me out, you have given me a slight hope that I might be able to cope if it happened to me. Hope you have a lovely time in SA.

Well, I did enjoy my evening out and I feel fine so far this morning, BUT dd has karate grading later which she really wants to do. Lots of kids from lots of different schools all cramped together in a hot and stuffy hall - just the thought of it is making my palms sweaty!!