Emetophobia - terrified of this sickness bug

[nellyraggbagg]

This sounds so stupid, but I'm completely terrified of the children (not to mention DH and me) catching this Norovirus that's doing the rounds. I've been emetophobic for as long as I can remember, and it has become even worse since having children. Every time they open their mouths, I'm terrified they're going to say they feel sick. When I go to bed at night, my last waking thought is: "Oh my God, what if they're sick in the night?" My DH is working away a lot at the moment, which makes matters even worse (he is good at dealing with sick, thank goodness!!) I have dealt with both children being sick (I have found that manic cleaning helps very slightly to take my mind off the blind panic), but am rigid with fear following newspaper reports of this current bug. How will I pick DS up from school if DD and/or I get it? My Mum is miles away, unfortunately. And what if DH gets it? I don't know how I'd cope if he were sick. Please, please help, someone - even if just by saying that I'm not the only person who feels like this!

Wholesome and nutritious for adults perhaps, but not necessarily for underweight toddlers who need a relatively high fat (not sugary!) diet. (as mine both are)

Sure Annoyingdevil, but between a sickie bug and low fat food for a few days, I know which one I would prefer... Sickie bugs are not known for their weight gaining properties. But of course, your child your call, etc.

Hi, i've just found this thread after typing 'tips on dealing with a sick child when i suffer with emetophobia' and this site came up. I just want to say that i can totally associate with what you are saying nellyraggbagg. I have suffered with emetophobia for as long as i can remember. I have 2 year old little boy and i am absolutely terrified of him getting this bug. I feel like such a failure as a mum as I let this phobia take control of my life and I struggle to comfort my son. I too do not ever ever want to pass this horrible phobia on to him and am trying my hardest to remain calm (even though inside I feel that I would rather die than have to deal with this bug)!!! I am currently going through Cognitive Behavioural Therapy to try and conquer this fear, but of course my therapist phoned and cancelled yesterday as she too has the novovirus!!! It makes me feel better to know that I am not alone and I hope that you feel better knowing that there is somebody else, as well as millions of others in the same situation as yourself (by the way - my partner is also very good at dealing with sickness but he is at work at the moment - he thinks I'm mad though). I just feel that I SHOULD be the one comforting my son

Scarlett,it did take me a long time to work it all out and many things were bloody useless,but you don't know until you try...unfortunately!!

The one treatment that helped me was not to work on treating my symptoms,but to find out the root cause of my problem and work that out instead.

Yes,I was scared of sick/people being sick,I knew all my symptoms,what it was,how to do the classic 'breathing' to try and calm yourself down,relaxing techniques but I didn't understand why I was so scared and why I just coudn't beat it myself.

In the end i did a course of hypnotherapy,which didn't help the sickness but it unlocked the part of my memory that linked all of my feelings to sick and from then on I found I could associate all my feelings to that one problem and the actual process of being sick wasn't the problem. It was the anxiousness you feel before being sick or waiting for someone else to be sick,where you feel on a knifes edge,the worst!! So now I know I am not afraid of sick like I thought,but emotions that I was trying to keep inside,or not let anyone find out about and my brain just got confused. Having the triplets has been very useful,you know how kids are!! But I also decided after much debate(because of side effects) to take a course of AD's which has also made the more positive thoughts about illness take over from the negative. Sorry I've rambled!!!

Thank you all for your support. It's easy to feel that you're a complete nut (I'm sure that's what DH thinks - goodness knows how he puts up with my anxiety about this). I've wondered about cognitive behavioural therapy (and whether I can be referred by the GP - though I'd presumably go on a fifteen-year waiting list?) - if, that is, I can bring myself to tell the GP that I've got this problem (I fear she'll just think I'm mad).
When I'm not worrying about the children getting it, I'm worrying about DH getting it (I think this would be even worse than the children getting it, if that's possible!!)
Those of you who've said it's the anticipation that's worst of all are quite right. DS said he felt sick a couple of weeks ago, so I took him to the bathroom and tried not to panic as he looked very poorly (he asked me in a small and frightened voice to stay with him, and as DH was at work, I couldn't leave him in the lurch!!) He wasn't in fact sick, but I still go wobbly at the memory of it all. A very bad hour!
This phobia drives me mad. I can't even look at buck*ts without shuddering (might explain why we never have our windows cleaned).
Ah well. Maybe we'll be lucky and not get it - though our time is bound to come eventually. I did see a headline in the paper today that said that proper hand-washing was the best preventative measure, so that's at least vaguely positive.

Nelly- your not alone,since seeing it on the news i have been a wreck, im scaired to go out in case i come in contact with the bug, i'm dreading next week when dd1 goes back to nursery where she may pick it up.

We had it last year and we ended up calling our GP who gave dh and i injections to stop the sickness.

When i was pg with dd2 i had to take drugs for morning sickness.

I feel sick just thinking about the bug and how bad it was last year, i feel like locking the front door and staying in for a month

GP's will talk your phobia through with you and, depending on you and your phobia, might suggest CBT (not sure what the waiting list is like but you might be pleasantly surprised, so don't let that stop you) or AD's. I was on AD's for almost a year to help me over all the anxiety issues I was having with my phobia and, along with CBT, they stopped the cycle and now I'm pretty 'normal' ... and it's such a relief! I took myself off the AD's when I was ready - the whole thing was very orientated around me and my thoughts on the issue, my personal phobia and what I felt I was ready and able to do.

I can't recommend talking to your GP enough, you'll be amazed that they find it all so normal and unfreakish!! Apparently around 1 in 3 people go and see their GP about head issues as opposed to body issues as it were. You CAN do this and once you've taken the first step I'm sure you'll feel so very much better. Good luck and best wishes.

dh has just put himself to bed 'feeling terrible' - stinking headache, feeling sick. he eat a thing for dinner (soooo unlike him) and has fallen straight to sleep.

i am now in a state of pure selfish panic that it is norovirus and that ds and myself will get it. god i hate feeling like this so much i just want to cry.

he didn't eat a thing for dinner even. the panic is making my brain slow down

Don't panic easier said than done I know. he can look after himself get out the cleaning stuff and keep washing those hands

thanks for the kind words... palms still v clammy, heart still racing and now feeling bad that have hijacked op somewhat with my own emetophobe crisis...
belgianbun, liking the straw clutching. he did have a v stressful week at work so further clutching that it may be just stress...congrats on the big girl jammies... i am so with you on the expecting bed full of s*ick... my ds (still) wakes once a night (wanting to come into our bed) and, without fail, i always brace myself on entering his room... just wondering, have any emetophobes actually had this bug yet and how did they cope?
going up to check on status of dh...

we haven't and I must admit it is the tought of it which is scaring me at the moment

in some weird way i would almost rather just suddenly get hit by the blardy thing (a very mild version, of course) so i can stop worrying about it constantly (well, for the next few months anyway) and start to lead a normal life again...
then again, i really couldn't face it!

btw, he is asleep and no sign of anything untoward up there yet...

I know what you mean zonedout

Don't worry about hijacking, Zonedout! Any support we nutty emetophobes can offer one another is worth having. We need to stick together ... just knowing that I'm not the only one is a relief. I hope your DH is better this morning.
Belgianbun: I, too, have nightmare scenarios about beds and bedding, and have done ever since they started eating real food (I could cope with milky baby regurgitation as my brain registered it as surplus milk). DD cried at 6am today, and I went into panic mode - turned out she was having a dream (I let DH discover this!!) A scary moment, though.

Oh dear, I really need to get a grip. I thought nelly's last post said we should 'all sick together'. That really would be taking support too far!

I hope your husband is OK today Zonedout.

I too have contingency plans - I never go on holiday without rubber gloves, Dettol etc and a change of bedding for a single bed. I could never fly off anywhere on a whim with just a backpack and a map, not with that lot to carry.

Ah yes, the contingency plans. Trip to local shops = rubber gloves, antibacterial handwash, towels and spare clothes for both children. How crazy is that?!

Forgot to say that DS has a walnut allergy which results in immediate and violent vomiting. This gives me another opportunity to be obsessive as I check every ingredient in every food in the universe!!!

thanks nelly, totally agree that not feeling so alone with this really helps.

bb and niecie, dh is fine, panic over for now at least. nothing untoward happened last night(other than my waking him at 11pm to see if he was feeling less sick , followed by keeping myself awake and deep breathing until 2am when tiredness overtook my panic). god i am a weirdo.

i am a sahm, we go to quite a few toddler groups/music/gym things all of which start for the new term this week. would it be completely wrong of me to hide away and not go to any of them whilst this bug is doing the rounds with such a vengeance? my poor ds, i so don't want him to miss out on the stuff he loves because of his nutty mother...

not sure quite how i am going to manage when he starts nursery in september either...

So glad your DH is ok, Zonedout. Hope you have a better night tonight!

As for whether it would be wrong to hide away ... ooh, that's a tricky one. The rational bit of me thinks: yes. But the phobic bit of me thinks: no, no, no. Good luck with whatever you decide. I am still in a panic about DS going back to school on Tuesday, and DD (3.5) going back to her little nursery school on Thursday. As she only does two mornings, I'm tempted not to bother at all - but on the other hand, she loves it, and has all her little friends who she's desperate to play with. I must say, I have thought about home educating, just to avoid sick-bugs. How sad is that?

What really gets me about both DS's and DD's schools is that there's no way most parents will wait for their children to be symptom-free for 48 hrs, so there's not much chance of anyone else avoiding it.

In one particularly mad moment, I did contemplate making the children stay up for ever, on the grounds that they couldn't wake up feeling sick if they never went to sleep (!!!!!) Needless to say, I didn't do it in the end. But such are the lengths that I am tempted to go to!

oh nelly, i am laughing (but only in a very kind, well meaning way). i so understand... it is the waking up feeling/being sick thing that panics me the most... am far less scared about the thought of a daytime vom (though would still hate it) i have kept myself awake countless times to prevent waking up feeling sick... hadn't yet got to the point of contemplating keeping ds up for such purposes but now you come to mention it...

sadly i have absolutely no words of wisdom on your dcs going back to school/nursery... but did just read a very good bit of advice on an emetophobe thread in chat which was to send them in with their own towel with strict instructions to only use that to dry hands... dirty towels in toilets scare the daylights out of me i guess your dd might be too young but may work with your ds?