Thoughts of ending my life

[howdoibegintodeal]

I've reached my limit and I dont know what to do. I'm on the phone to a mental health advisor and he keeps telling me to go to my GP but I'm scared to. I'm scared to take the thoughts into action and the thoughts are making me panic and I dont know what to do. A&E's across the road, would they get angry if I went over?

They won’t be angry. But they may not be best placed to help. Please do contact your GP. Unless you feel in imminent threat. Then A and E could be appropriate.

Bump and handhold until someone with better advice comes along

Have you any support at home. Go to a&e they normally have pych liaison who will assess you.

Absolutely they will not be angry. I work for the ambulance service and the amount of patients we deal with feeling like you are is scary.

You are not alone at all, and a&e would be more than happy to see you. And so so happy that you're reaching out for help. You're saving your own life and it's an amazingly strong and brave thing to do.

Please go over to the hospital, please do not end your life. You can get help, things will get better. Its a permanent choice for a temporary situation. Please reach out to someone who you trust and go to hospital. If you can't do those things yet then keep posting. If you want to pm me someone's number il send them a message if you can't to let them know you are really struggling. Iv recently come off antidepressants and life I feel so much better, things will get better for you too.

I don’t think they’d be angry with you. Would the Samaritans be better to call? Hopefully someone will be along here in a minute with better advice. What’s pushed you to this? Financial worries? Loneliness? Do you have children?

@bellalou1234

Have you any support at home. Go to a&e they normally have pych liaison who will assess you.

I haven't, no .

No-one I could tell or talk to .

I'm ringing the surgery . But they can't fix the mess that I'm in and nothing can . I don't know what to do .

My mums not well (56) and her social worker has just said she's moving into a care home, and I won't be able to see her, will be having Christmas alone in student halls . I haven't got any other friends or particularly close family (location wise or otherwise) .

I just want to sleep and forget it all.

Hand hold here. Please seek help. You can fix the mess you're in. Might just take time

I was away to pack my suitcase today and looking forward to Christmas, and putting up the decorations, and that won't be happening now, and I feel stupid but I'm totally broken and alone .

I dont want to be here anymore .

Are you quite young then? If your mum is 56. If you’re in student halls you must be training for something and have lots of opportunities to meet new people and friends. There’s so much you can do with your life. You don’t have to spend Christmas alone. You could volunteer or see if anyone else in your halls us in a similar position

Are you at a university? They'll have a student welfare department. Can you give them a ring?

You don’t have to be alone. There are lots of options.
Is your mum unwell? 56 seems really young to be going into a home.
Your GP can help. A and E can if you feel in immediate danger.
Do the uni have a student services who can help in a practical way?

I'm 30 so old enough to feel very old in halls iyswim, it was the cheapest accommodation option.Training in allied health job ..

GP surgery gave me a phone number for crisis team, phoned them they said wrong team but a lady spoke to me anyway and she said she will phone my GP, and said to put tablets in drawer .

I've only ever cared for my mum, I've not had proper friends since I was 16, I feel so behind and lost with my peers now and frightened to try .

Hi howdoibegintodeal,

We're really sorry to hear you're feeling this way.

We can see that you're getting some good advice and support from other Mumsnetters here on your thread, but we just wanted to add a link to our Mental Health resources - there are lots of organisations listed which can give you some help right now, so please take a look.

You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on [email protected], or phone, anytime, on 116 123.

If you find texting easier, please take a look at Shout's website. Shout 85258 is a free, confidential, anonymous text support service. Its trained volunteers are available all hours of the day and night to listen and support you to get to a calmer and safe place.

Here too is a link to Mind's website, and in particular their tips for everyday living which could help when you're feeling low.

Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you'll be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek real life help and support as well.

We're moving this thread over to our Mental Health topic now.

Sending good wishes, OP.

Can you go 'home' anyway to where your mum is moving from? Why wouldn't you be able to visit her?

@overthethamesfromyou

Can you go 'home' anyway to where your mum is moving from? Why wouldn't you be able to visit her?

I can but they're saying covid regulations means it'll only be very limited visiting, uni's 6 hours drive from where she'd be going . It makes more sense that closer family could go and see her rather than me I suppose .

So sorry you are feeling this way OP x

I had a friend in a similar situation and A and E were fsntastic with them. A and E is for all medical ermergancies, ( be that mental or physical health). I just wanted to reassure you that a lot of peopl go to A and E with suicidal feelings/ mental health crisis, and they will have appropriate teams there to deal with it.

Is your GP in your university town ?

Have they also given you mental health medication, e.g. antidepressants ?

Sorry to hear about your Mum. Can you spend Christmas with any other family members? @howdoibegintodeal

You’re her daughter, there is no one closer than you. Please reach out. The one thing I am certain in this life is that even the most difficult of times pass. x

So, I went to my GP when I was feeling suicidal, I had an urgent psychiatric assessment. Everyone was amazing, I dread to think where I would be now without it.
The most important thing is NO ONE wants to go to your funeral, YOU ARE LOVED XXX

I am so sorry you are feeling like this. Please please ask for help from a professional. It took all my strength to do so and I will forever be grateful that I did. You are not alone and I promise it will get better. You are so much stronger than you think you are.

That’s so hard for you, @howdoibegintodeal. Caring responsibilities from that young age and now not being able to see your mum are really hard experiences. As her daughter and long-term carer you should be priority to visit her at Christmas, if that’s what you’d like to do. Does it feel like you’d be alone in the family house a lot though, and that might be a bit daunting? Or would that be manageable?
Keep talking here if that feels helpful.

Maytree provide a place for people feeling suicidal to stay, but unfortunately they’re really booked up now, but possibly worth knowing about:

www.maytree.org.uk/

Were you able to speak to A and E op ?

I spoke to GP and mental health assessment unit, they just said to distract myself with a cup of tea and a film and GP wants me to take another week of regular diazepam . Too anxious to go to the surgery to get them, it’s three miles away and then a ten minute walk to chemist after too !

I hate diazepam, it makes you feel horrendous and totally kills any appetite - I haven’t even more than one sandwich, a bowl of cereal and a few biscuits since Tuesday . Not hungry at all . I’m going to force myself to cook a pizza but feel absolutely dreadful . I’ve got to wash my dishes first which seems too much effort iyswim .

I’ve showered at least though and drunk some water .