My last thread got deleted so I’ve removed some stuff.
I think I am having a bipolar disorder relapse and am in crisis due to a number of life things but also just my head in general. I have diagnoses of bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, OCD and anxiety. I take lamotrogine, sertraline, diazepam, quetiapine, aripriprizole, and pregabalin, all max doses, and nothing is working.
I haven’t showered in over a week or brushed my teeth or washed my hair. I’ve been wearing the same underwear for four days. I’ve not been sleeping properly, broken sleep and waking up and starting the day at 3am. I’ve been spending impulsively and have lost productivity at work resulting in losing a lot of work and a lot of money in refunds.
I’ve got some shit going on in my life that is causing me chronic stress, I’m looking after a household because my partner does not have a job, my child is being assessed for autism (he’s 20 months), everything is my fault.
I have been sat here in bed crying silently for an hour but I just want to scream.
I feel in a mixed state, my head is going a mile a minute, my gut filled with anxiety, my actions impulsive, my mood low, my sleep broken.
I dont know what to do. My partner is a great dad and I can hear them downstairs giggling. I’m working all the time anyway to keep the house afloat. He doesn’t love me properly.
I don’t know whether to just do it, whether to go to A&E and be assessed, I can’t get through to my community mental health team and there is no crisis line. I’m too much of a mess to show up to the hospital without embarrassing myself. I don’t know what to do someone please help me