Parents and carers of anxious kids/teens(part5)

[Stilllivinginazoo]

Hi guys
Just spotted we have filled another thread!
I started part 1 during the journey with my sons escalating anxiety
This thread is a non judgemental place to support each other
As parents and carers we recognise how hard,stressful,and often lonely,this unseen battle can be.others dismissing small wins as the norm for most etc
Please feel free to offload here,share your small wins,take the support and comfort this thread brings

Zoo oh dear, no fluids until 5.00pm is a long time. I can imagine the sulking when you called her bluff re the bone-dry jug. Poor thing.

DCD is Developmental Coordination Disorder - seems to be the official name for Dyspraxia these days but nobody's every heard of DCD! Dyspraxia sometimes seems to be used to describe wide range of difficulties whereas the diagnostic criteria for DCD is in relation to movement and coordination difficulties and problems with motor skills.

leap no offence taken you found it funny lovely
If I didn't laugh over things I'd go crazy with my lot🤣

1leap - at the moment the draft is rubbish. LA have asked for copies of all of our private reports. We haven't had them all done yet due to dd situation.

MuddlingThrough thanks for that. Yes, its hard not being able to tell dh but I can't betray my ds trust although I said he may (dh) be more understanding than you think. That's partly why I came on here. 1leap sorry I thought you meant that he must have had some trauma and I get what you mean about CAHMS now. I was only going to ask their opinion on a GP prescribing sertraline without therapy and what their views were on this. I'm concerned that the GP may have incorrectly done this now, after looking at the NICE guidelines following your advice.

@1leapforward2back yes I thought I'd read that DD1's DCD made it more likely statistically for DD2 to have ASD. DD1 has recently questioned if she may have ASD - a couple of new friends at university have ASD and were stunned that DD doesn't have a diagnosis (apparently one says he has a very good radar for identifying others!) If anything I'd have thought DD1 was more inclined towards ADHD perhaps.

Zoo Bloody teens are infuriating at times. Although part of me would want to tell DD3 she needs to up her game, she should have run some water in the jug.

Muddling ASD and ADHD have overlapping traits so DD1 could have either, or both.

Circle CAMHS won’t give you their opinion and advice on the sertraline and lack of therapy without assessing DS.

A little smile at zoo's dd needing to up her game :)

1leap Might be different where you live but CAHMS spoke to me this morning without me having to give any details without him being assessed. They were very helpful and reassured me that its OK for the GP to give sertraline without therapy as he's closely monitoring it and its one of the safer medications to take. Also, she pointed out that the NICE guidelines are simply guidelines and not written in stone.
I won't be posting on this thread or reading anything on here again. I'm glad I rang CAHMS but initially posting on here has caused me unnecessary stress. People should only post what they know to be fact.

To everyone on here who have dcs with mh issues, without meaning to sound patronising, I wish you well and hope you're able to get the support you all need from health and education services and are able to look after yourselves too. Take care.

DD nearly 20 has ASD and depression, DM has cancer and anxiety. Struggling to cope right now, can't stop crying and I'm already taking meds

Gosh @circle that's more than a little rude & ungrateful.
@leaps advice is based on knowledge & comes from the heart.
That's very unprofessional for Camhs to comment & I would totally disagree that without being weighed & his bp checked the Gp is doing a good job. This is based on working years in the pharmaceutical industry & dealing with doctors on a daily basis.

Circle post here or not, that is up to you. But NICE guidelines are there to be closely taken into account in a HCP’s clinical judgement, and where they aren’t followed there should be sound clinical reasons. That is a fact, like or not. CAMHS giving advice without any details or assessment is negligent. If anything were to go wrong they would need to be accountable. Again, a fact. It is highly unusual for GPs to prescribe antidepressants, many CCGs don’t allow it at all. Again, that is a fact and you can see that from this thread, previous threads and other threads on MN.

My posts were based on the information and questions in your posts. They were based on knowledge and experience of the system, both as a parent and as a professional in years gone by. Not meant to scare or worry but provide information, advise and support. I stand by all my posts, and agree with Fferny on it being unprofessional of CAMHS and lacking from the GP.

I’m also rather amazed you managed to talk to a psychiatrist at CAMHS on the phone today without being under their care. Many DC wait months for psychiatrist input and even DC under psychiatric care in crisis struggle for contact between appointments.

Oh Sandwiches, things sound so overwhelming for you right now. We are all here to listen if you want to offload. I am sorry to hear of DM’s cancer.

Do you have any support? Have you all had social care assessments? Are you managing time to look after your own needs?

1leapforward2back it feels overwhelming. No support and not managing to look after my own needs

Sandwiches Would sorting some of the more practical things help relieve the pressure on you?

Things like:
social care assessments for you all.
Benefits - PIP for DD, PIP or AA for DM (depending on her age), Carers allowance for you.
EHCP for DD if she isn’t at university or in appropriate, gainful employment.
Blue badge for either or both of DD and DM.
There are other things that may help if you have done some of the above but I didn’t want to overwhelm you further.

Can you carve out a little time to have a bath, go for a walk, eat cake… whatever works for you?

1leapforward2back just feels overwhelming

If you want to I can find you guides and model letters to use for various things. If that is something you would like me to do let me know which one you would like to start with.

I'm not sure what you mean by model letters

Hi everyone, this is my first post on here. I'm slowly reading through the thread and finding comfort knowing I'm not alone, but thought I'd introduce myself too, and hope to start contributing more.

My DD (12) has become increasingly anxious over the last year. I think it's partly covid anxiety, partly starting secondary school, and partly undiagnosed ASD (her older brother has a diagnosis).

I'm not really sure whether a diagnosis would help DD. Also not sure whether we should be looking at medication. Currently trying to manage her anxieties with lots of listening, eating well, as much fun as possible (this is quite hard!) and lots of physical activity. But I'm concerned this is not enough and it's horrible watching her being so torn apart by her worries.

Anyway, I will keep reading this thread and learning from you all

Welcome suoixna. Getting a diagnosis is always worthwhile imo. It will help others understand DD’s needs better and help DD understand herself better. It also gives her protection. Are you under CAMHS or a private psychiatrist? They are the ones to speak to about medication. Are school providing support? Would DD take a VitD supplement if she doesn’t already take one? In the UK it is recommended everyone takes a VitD supplement over the winter months and being deficient won’t be helping DD’s MH.

Sandwiches By model letter I mean letters you can adapt and use to apply for things. For example, this is a model letter to apply for a carer’s assessment when the person you care for is over 18. And this is a model letter you can use to apply for an adult social care assessment for DD and DM.

Wow. The thread took a bit of a turn

A diagnosis really helps get support, sandwich.

I called crisis line again last night. :( They were great and calmed dd enough. Told me to call camhs today and try and get psych appointment brought forward.

TikTokCat DD has an ASD diagnosis already but has been suffering with depression, not sure if the two are connected or not. My heart breaks seeing her just lying in bed all day, she hasn't washed for months, she lives in her pjs all day, she hardly eats

Tiktokcat I’m sorry you needed to call the crisis line last night, but I am glad they helped you. We have always found them helpful when we have needed to call. I hope you get somewhere with bringing the psychiatrist appointment forward.

sandwiches depression is often a comorbidity of ASD, although some find if their needs relating to their autism are met the depression (and anxiety in others) improves. Is DD under MH services?

Hi all, so sorry to hear of the challenges so many of you and your DC are facing.
Things are getting worse here with DS's intrusive thoughts and anxiety.
He is currently saying that he wants to kill himself and begging me to kill him.
I actually don't know what to do to help him. I have left a message for his psychologist to call me. She is frantically trying to get the psychiatrist on her team to take him on but the psychiatrist wants him reassessed for ADHD by the community paediatric consultant. He was assessed for both ASD and ADHD last year and given an ASD diagnosis in December but not ADHD.
It feels like we are going round in circles while he just gets more and more anxious.
He says he is trying all of the strategies his psychologist has shown him but none of them help.
Have any of you got any ideas? Thank you

Update - I have called the Crisis team and they are arranging for a clinician to call me back

mumofoneASD I hope the crisis team get back to you quickly, if they don’t take DS to A&E or if he won’t go and you are worried call an ambulance - in some areas the ambulance service has specialist MH teams.