SOooooooooo alone

[Nads38]

I am feeling like the biggest desperate loser ever. I have 2dds 22 months and 4 months. I am struggling to cope some days. I am Australian and neither my husband or I have any family here in the UK. We have just moved to Plymouth and the group that we are involved with are quite clicky, so I have not made any friends. I hate where I live, I have 25 stairs to climb to get to the road, so I can't walk my babies and dogs, and I am normally a very outdoors person. I feel like such a loser that I have no friends and feel so crap. I have been to my GP who didn't care, just gave me a questionnaire to fill out and return it in two weeks, he didn't even listen to a word I was saying. I have joined mother groups, but never really bonded with anyone. We move quite a lot around the UK, so I am used to making new friends, but I am really struggling here. I am at home a lot with the girls by myself as DH is away with work a lot. I live in a tiny house, with crap neighbours and I find myself watching the same kids TV ALL day with all doors and windows closed, I just really really really hate my life and not quite sure how to fix it. Any suggestions would be really appreciated

Hi Nads - just wanted to add my support / let you know that lots of us find it really hard being such a long way from family - I hit rock bottom about 6 months ago, and am still finding it pretty hard tbh. And I imagine you're feeling a bit like a "rugby widow" at this time of year - really doesn't help when a big chunk of the weekend is taken up by sport / "mates" type activity, and no doubt although you're invited you don't want to spend a bunch of time managing two small children watching a rugby game! I bet there are some other wives in the same position - just a q of how to tap into their network (maybe someone will come along on mumsnet). I suggest you task your DH with finding someone else at his club who has small children, and ask him to arrange a family pub lunch one weekend. Have to start somewhere - and it's always easier to focus on discrete tasks/ events than to contemplate the problem on a big picture basis (I find, anyway).

Keep thinking that what we really need to do is set up some sort of mumsnet "grandparent swap", where mnetters in Aus/NZ get to borrow antipodean grandparents, and we get to borrow some UK-based ones......

Hi nads

I felt exactly the same as you do re the ads and I think you would be suprised how many woman 'do' feel like that initially.
I got the rx from the gp and they then sat on my bedside cabinet for at least two weeks, beacause my thoughts were just like yours.I felt like a bit of a failure tbh!

I do believe those feeling are all part of the illness.

Its typical of depression to beat yourself up over silly things and be generally really down on yourself.

Once I'd began to feel better those thoughts melted away and in fact I said I would rather stay on them the rest of my life than ever felt the way I had with PND again.

Look at it this way, if you had asthma would you expect to control it without medication? depression is an illness, incredibly common and nothing to be ashamed of.

Trust me you wont look back... the cloud and mist will lift and you will feel like a new woman! The simplest things in life will again become a pleasure to you.

Only thing I would suggest is to ask if there is any CBT to go alongside the AD's as this is supposed to be even more effective than ADs alone. It does depend however, how available CBT is in your area- I never managed to get it myself but I think it would have been useful.

I dont take the ADs anymore, you can come off them slowly when you feel ready.
Hope this helps- dont want to come off as telling you what to do, but do think hearing others experiences may help.
You sound like a really bubbly, life loving gal and this is just a bump in the road for you!

Hi Nads, Im in Plymouth and have lived here for 16 years. I have a DD 12 and DS 5 months. If you would like to meet up for a yap and a cuppa then I would love to! My e-mail is [email protected]