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Mental health

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Original poster

Sick of being a mum

17 replies

kiteflyer · 02/12/2007 20:01

I love my son dearly and i love my husband. But i've had enough i want to get off. Just for a bit. i want my husband to notice me do something exciting. I'm so board......I'm always to one to make plans to do anything.
i don't mean to be ungreatful i just expected my life to be different........ I'm frustrated and board.

OP posts:

justaboutinonepiece · 02/12/2007 20:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Niecie · 02/12/2007 20:05

How old is your DS kiteflyer?

I can relate to that feeling but more so when my DSs were younger but it wore off when a bit as they got older and were able to do more for themselves.

Well, either that or I am now completely brain dead.

Seriously, though, do you have a job outside the home? Maybe that would help.

Starbear · 02/12/2007 20:12

I'm bored right now. Allday indoors today due to the weather and ear infection of Ds. DH had to go out most of the day. Told DH we are going to Kew gardens on 16th whether he liked it or not. Just need to do something different. Made some biscuits with Ds yesterday which is something I've never done before. I'm going down stairs now to clean the kitchen and eat my home made ginger bread men Yippe! Just to say your not alone.

Monkeytrousers · 02/12/2007 20:13

I know what you mean!!

I study to get out of my head - well, that and the occasional sniffle at my neighbours!

Though I am taking steps to get back into the job I had pre-baby and also getting out more - running and thinking about going to a very posh and intimidating choir! eek!

Original poster

kiteflyer · 02/12/2007 20:31

My son is 2 nearly 3. i suppose i realize that thats it its not getting any easier for a while. But at the same time i love it too he's so dear and funny. just part of me gets all frustrated and snarls at my husband who does have more freedom than me not much more but still more. I'd just like to get out a bit more to have a life with my husband away from our son occationally. i know its not so bad. it does make me feel better to know i'm not alone.
I am lucky i do have a job that i really enjoy. I just get down when i'm at home. how awful is that time with my family just depresses and frustrates me - not always but quite often. Then i feel really guilty.

OP posts:

Original poster

kiteflyer · 02/12/2007 20:38

For my job i'm having to do a maths qualification in the evening and i really enjoy it. How sad is that. i know i need to make more efforts to do some other things out of the house its just so difficult to find the time energy and be motivated enough. i keep toying with the idea of going to my local church just have a sing once a week. and see some different people. is that really desperate........

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Monkeytrousers · 02/12/2007 20:41

Education is wasted on the young!

and 'mother' and 'housewife' are not synomyms!

One is wonderful and needs more status in our society - the other is just slave labour! And incredibly dull!!!

GrinningSoul · 02/12/2007 20:49

my boring disappointing life improved dramatically when i joined a choir... just a thought. you mentioned church but there are other ways of singing

Original poster

kiteflyer · 02/12/2007 21:13

I did join a singing group but it was just too weird for me. There were lots of drama type warm up exercises involving walking round the room humming from various parts of your body....it was like a version of "Rainbow rythums" from Peep show.
And i have to pay £7.50 for the privilage.
i don't have a particularly good voice i just enjoy singing.
This is the first time i've been on mums.net isn't it nice to be able to just strick up a conversation.

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Niecie · 02/12/2007 22:41

Would it help to actually escape one weekend. Leave your son and husband and just book into a hotel and get away from the planning and the responsibility. From my point of view that is the most draining thing. Even if you aren't doing anything you still have to be thinking for other people 24/7.

When you have done that book another weekend with your DH. Do you have anybody who would take your DS for a night?

Alternatively, instead of feeling trapped by your family how about making a huge effort to do more fun things together so that you aren't just a home and bored? It is still the same hard work but at least it is a change of scene and if you and DH are out together with your DS you can share some of the responsibility.

Going to church to sing is a great idea too. It isn't sad at all. Leave the family at home and go for a bit of peace on a Sunday. Singing is definitely the best bit of going to church.

It does get easier as they get older though and they grow up so quickly.

Starbear · 03/12/2007 00:01

I'm not a christian by birth but I do like to go to church as there are people of all ages and you get to meet people from your neighbourhood. Don't be ashamed of it. I don't like the hymns mainly because I don't recognise them. I can only sing 'Morning has broken' and 'All thing bright and beautiful'
I do like the fact it makes me feel grateful for what I have. Go have a good sing along. I wish the CofE had a bit more gospel singing, now that would be good sing-a-long.

choosyfloosy · 03/12/2007 00:19

gosh this strikes a lot of chords

ds is 3 nearly 4. he is lovely. i am doing a full-time course and seeing a lot less of him than I used to. I feel guilty about it purely because i'm enjoying the course so much. but i really do struggle at weekends - less guilt at least, but i seem to spend all the time forcing myself to do stuff i wouldn't actually choose to do in a million years.

sorry monkeytrousers but for me, doing 'motherhood' for ten minutes can make cleaning the kitchen look like the most exciting activity on the earth...

it definitely gets better as they get older. and time away is an excellent suggestion. at around your stage of parenthood i hightailed it off for 36 hours walking on the thames path (well, 10 hours walking, 2 hours in the bath with Vanity Fair magazine, 10 hours uninterrupted sleep at a b&b) which made me feel like a new woman. briefly. hth.

choosyfloosy · 03/12/2007 00:20

oh sorry forgot to say i also go to church to sing. massive blast of antidepressant.

grannyslippers · 03/12/2007 00:29

Hi kiteflyer

Can completely identify with your situation, was hoping going back to work p/t would help.

MN is a good antidote to mummy boredom actually! why else would I be on it at this time of night?

I go to a knitting group once a month (had to abandon choir as it was weekly and DH too unreliable). When I get in the car to drive there, it's like a huge weight lifts off my shoulders, really the knitting is incidental to having an adult night out. Keeps me sane.

Minum · 03/12/2007 07:06

I go to church and love it - the beautiful music, and an hour a week to just think about the spiritual, not the practical. It completely saved me from going mad when I was depressed. I've also met some lovely people there.

JammyK · 03/12/2007 13:45

Hi, just wanted to add to everyone else's comments. I'm a SAHM to 2 ds's and it's hard work and quite often borng!! I'd love to get back to work but with dh in the RAF and going away a lot for the next few years it's just not the right time. You're not a bad Mum for having these feelings, I also resent dh for having more freedom than me but I guess that's life hey?! Just keep looking to the future when your ds is a bit older and I'm sure things will be better then. Xx

Original poster

kiteflyer · 03/12/2007 22:44

What a lovely bunch of people. Thank you for all your good wishes. You've all made a manic mummy feel alot better.
and Nieci your right its the full on responsiblity of it all. Just before i had my son my sister said it is lovely but the buck stops with mummy. and thats just it you know that you are the one to initiate all things ....potty training .......sorting out issues around eating .....sleeping .........it goes on and on. get stressed just thinking about it.
But i do love my little boy. Thanks again lovely mummy's.

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