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Original poster

Totally burnt out

98 replies

Olimar · 15/08/2021 00:07

I'm so exhausted. Everything is so difficult, there's so much of it, its so hard to carry on.
Harder to even just maintain a basic standard if living. I don't have the energy to keep it going much longer.
Just want to lay down,block it all out, make it go away.

OP posts:
Original poster
Olimar · 15/08/2021 20:56

I checked, you cant email our GP. You can make appointment online, but have to phone or go in person to request, totally useless to me. Phone speaking is so so bad for me, receptionist makes you feel guilty, wants to know everything.I dont have the strength for that right now.

OP posts:
Sarahlou63 · 15/08/2021 21:06

You can contact the Samaritans by email if you don't like using the phone - www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/write-email/

How old are your children?

Original poster
Olimar · 16/08/2021 01:45

I've been trying to get help tonight but made everything worse

OP posts:
Sarahlou63 · 16/08/2021 06:48

How did you make things worse? Keep talking to us.

Original poster
Olimar · 16/08/2021 15:49

It always gets worse when you talk to people about it, it makes it real and you can't hold it in as easy afterwards.

Luckily only had a short shift at work today, but than cam home to voicemail from landlord, inspection on Friday.

OP posts:
Sarahlou63 · 16/08/2021 16:57

OK, so you have four evenings to sort the garden. Do you have the tools to do it? Is there a friendly neighbour, a church group, an allotment association or even a couple of bored teenagers who could be roped in to help?

Sarahlou63 · 16/08/2021 16:59

Or a local FB group? Scout group? If you give us an idea of where you are there may be someone local who can lend a hand.

Original poster
Olimar · 16/08/2021 20:37

Its ok, I know you are being kind trying to help, but it wont work, I dont have the energy to explain why, it wont help anyway.

I had another big shutdown earlier and I've accepted its going to be bad, i cant change that, but i can prepare for it.

I just need to be as numb as possible, no feeling , no thinking, switch off from everything thats going to hurt me more.

OP posts:
coodawoodashooda · 16/08/2021 21:05

Can you speak to your boss?

Original poster
Olimar · 16/08/2021 21:18

Why would I speak to him/her, I actually have 2 jobs, but they dont even really know me, why would they want to help me, even if there was anything they could do.

OP posts:
Sweetchocolatecandy · 16/08/2021 21:47

If you are a single parent working 2 jobs with no help then no wonder you are feeling burnt out. Is there any way you can put some holidays in at work or failing that go on the sick for a few weeks/months with depression? This might not be a popular opinion but I honestly think that you are worn out and your mental health will continue to deteriorate if you carry on working so hard with no time for anything else. I had to go on the sick a few months ago and just to have that break was vital for my mental health, otherwise I don’t think I could have continued on. Just a suggestion.

Sarahlou63 · 16/08/2021 22:08

@Olimar

Its ok, I know you are being kind trying to help, but it wont work, I dont have the energy to explain why, it wont help anyway.

I had another big shutdown earlier and I've accepted its going to be bad, i cant change that, but i can prepare for it.

I just need to be as numb as possible, no feeling , no thinking, switch off from everything thats going to hurt me more.

Understood. Please know that it's OK to keep talking.
MistySkiesAfterRain · 16/08/2021 23:26

Maybe short term medication to get s good night sleep from the doctor?

JustOneShake · 17/08/2021 00:45

@Olimar sorry you're feeling this way, I am feeling exactly the same and after speaking to a friend this evening have decided to speak to my boss and doctor tomorrow. Not much help but just know you're not alone.

coodawoodashooda · 17/08/2021 06:20

What kind of jobs are you doing?

JustOneShake · 17/08/2021 16:02

How are you doing @Olimar ?

Original poster
Olimar · 17/08/2021 21:43

I a still very burnt out, nothing has changed, I have no energy to change it. No one else will change it for me, I don't have the ability to ask them.

If I had the option of taking months off work, off all responsibilities, I would. If I had the option to take medication, lay down, sleep for the longest time ever I would.

But I don't have and of that so shutdown is my only option.

OP posts:
coodawoodashooda · 17/08/2021 21:49

Okay. Then how do you plan this shutdown?

Sarahlou63 · 17/08/2021 22:06

I don't have the ability to ask them

Yes, you do. What scares you about asking for help?

Original poster
Olimar · 17/08/2021 22:09

Shutdown isnt a plan, shutdown just happens. No thinking, no moving, no feeling, no anything. Just existing but separate from the world.

OP posts:
coodawoodashooda · 17/08/2021 22:11

I don't know what to say without appearing to be blase. Im thinking....

Original poster
Olimar · 17/08/2021 22:11

nothing scares me about about asking for help. GP is phone call only, i cant do phone call, so i cant do Gp.

OP posts:
Sarahlou63 · 17/08/2021 22:12

It's called disassociation. Here's some information;

www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/dissociation-and-dissociative-disorders/about-dissociation/

There is help for you, if only you can grab your courage for one moment and ask for it. Once you do things will get better.

coodawoodashooda · 17/08/2021 22:16

@Sarahlou63

It's called disassociation. Here's some information;

www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/dissociation-and-dissociative-disorders/about-dissociation/

There is help for you, if only you can grab your courage for one moment and ask for it. Once you do things will get better.

Yes. Im certain I had this. I sometimes phone my old health visitor if i need to sort things out. Could you do that?
Original poster
Olimar · 17/08/2021 22:51

I dont have a health visitor and no phone call anyway,

OP posts: