Health Anxiety - Part 5

[AJ297]

Sorry if someone else was going to do this, I just didn't want to lose you all 😂

@MrsWhites
@argueifnecessary
@tmh88
@Skyliner001
@TheSilentStars
@hildagardecrowe
@BigGreen
@goolies
@iamsodonewith2020
@KAP232
@polkadotpixie

Sorry if I missed anyone!

Ah thank you @Dollsandfoo. I suppose you have to be at the kennels 7 days a week, hope you’re not having to work too hard but it must be such a rewarding business to run.

Guys I’m having a panic attack, I feel like I’m going to haemorrhage and die. I can’t get the feeling out my head. I just want to be normal again, I keep looking at my kids and thinking I’m never going to see them again. X

Hello everyone

I hope it’s ok for me to join this thread. I have suffered with health anxiety for a long time but feel I am at a crisis point at the moment. I’m so sorry to everyone else who is also suffering.

Very briefly I had a life changing accident in my teens where I nearly died. I think my anxiety started then and obviously at that time there was no mental health support. I have also had quite a few bad/unusual things happen to me or people I love that has reinforced my anxiety ( deaths at early age etc). When I had my first child I had very bad PNd that actually I think on reflection was PN anxiety. My behaviour at that time was quite severely impacted - very bad OCD, didn’t leave the house, couldn’t sleep for fear my son would die type stuff.

I had sort of got a bit of a handle on things the last few years - I am now a single parent and one of my D.C. has SEN including anxiety .

Recently however I have had a number of health scares - so have been for lots of scans etc ( one for suspected cancer that hopefully isn’t). Now my sibling has been diagnosed with cancer at a young age. There is a strong possibility that it is genetic and I have been advised to have genetic screening.

Sorry this is very long. Anyway this last thing seems to have tipped me over the edge. I am having panic attacks again and in my mind am basically convinced I have cancer and am going to die. I’m terrified for my sibling. Nothing I have used previously to try and help myself is working. I basically feel like I am living in a state of complete panic all the time. It’s horrible and I cannot cope with it anymore. I don’t know how to stop and bring things into perspective. I don’t know how I will manage to live if I am a genetic carrier as that means 80% of cancer. The whole testing process will also be so slow and I feel like I just need to know.

Sorry for the ramble and I hope it’s ok to brain dump like this.

@Ilovecrumpets so sorry you sound like you are having a really hard time. Have you anyone close who you can talk to. Am not surprised with how your feeling with everything your going through . Would you talk to your gp. Sorry dont no what else to suggest. Sending lots of love tho.
@EXA1912 am so sorry your still having a really bad time. X

@Dollsandfoo thank you . I’m going to try to speak to my GP. Have managed to calm myself down a bit.

@Ilovecrumpets

What a stressful time for you - don't be hard on yourself about health anxiety - anyone would be hit hard by what you're coping with.

I assume if you're being advised to have genetic screening that if it is positive things will be offered to you to prevent or catch the cancer early? So perhaps try and think of the test as something that will actually give you a better chance of preventing/surviving cancer. I know that isn't much but it may be a slightly more hopeful way of looking at it.

Thank you @HPFA - yes it will be screening for BRAC genes so will have options ( although one of the cancers it predisposes to is very hard to catch in screening).

I am trying to think in a way if I do have it it’s better to know i guess. The process takes a long time though which I know I will find very difficult. I am also expecting mammogram results tomorrow as I self referred for one so nervous about that. Trying to say I’ve done everything I can.

Very scared for my sister - she is only 40. I do need to find a way to manage it somehow as can’t have this constant panic for the next months.

I hope everyone else on the thread is doing Ok.

Really feel for you @Ilovecrumpets and can completely understand the constant state of panic you describe but glad you feel a bit calmer now. It will be tough waiting for the screening but at least when you know one way or the other, you’ll have options. Agree, speak to your GP about how you’re feeling. My GP is so sympathetic about my HA and bends over backwards to help.

Hope everyone has done OK this weekend. I’m trying not to panic about something new I’ve inevitably found but feel on slightly firmer ground than I did a couple of days ago when you were all so kind. I’ve upped my medication which seems to have helped but don’t want to rely on that alone and know a lot of other work needs to be done.

Hi everyone, hope it's OK to join. I am panicking that I have a brain tumour. I've had occasional bouts of vertgio/dizziness for about 2 months, sinus pressure, occasional ear pain, occasional blurry right eye and just recently started hearing my heartbeat in my left ear.

I have mentioned the dizziness to the GP over the past two months when calling about hayfever (which has been really bad but now under control) but he's been completely disinterested and keeps saying "see how it goes". I got into a massive panic this weekend as I had a really bad vertigo spell when I was just lying down on my bed with my eyes closed. It was so scary. Am waiting for a telephone appointment today so hope he doesn't dismiss me again.

I made a mistake of Googling hearing your heartbeat in your ear as I thought it would tell me its normal but apparently along with dizziness and vision problems it can be a sign of a head or neck tumour! So now I'm massively panicking.

@Daisylion what you are describing with the ear is pulsatile tinnitus. It's what started my spiral this time. I'm currently awaiting an MRI. It CAN be a sign of a tumour but it's unlikely, and even if it is it's almost always benign. Mine is also in my left ear and only when I tilt my head to the right. I saw an ENT last month who has referred me for an MRI but it was purely for reassurance, she said she didn't think it would be anything to worry about at all. When I saw the Dr about it he told me not to google it, and that most cases don't have a cause. I've had it for about 4 years now and only saw the doctor because I saw it on Greys Anatomy and panicked. Vertigo can be pretty normal occasionally, it can be linked to tiredness, low blood pressure, low sugar levels etc. Sinus pressure is again normal and can be stress related too. Have you seen an optician about your eyes?

Try not to worry too much, mine appeared after a bad bout of tonsillitis and never went away, it's not got any worse in four years either!

@HildegardeCrowe how are you doing today? X

OMG @AJ297, I’m waiting for an MRI because I have unilateral tinnitus too (which was pulsatile at one point) and like you the consultant said is really for reassurance. Apparently the NHS spends a fortune on these scans and the rate of their being anything wrong is tiny so it’s really not cost-effective.

I’ve massively increased my medication (I’m on Pregabalin for anxiety and Citalopram) and it’s really helped with the anxiety. Trouble is I’ve been on and off Pregabalin for quite a while now and it’s quite addictive and hard to come off and tends to lose its efficacy after a while. Still it’s allowing me to function which is something. Will try and work on other stuff like meditation and not allowing myself to check and google whilst I’m in a less anxious state and then decide what to do about meds.

How’s work going for you?

@HildegardeCrowe I'm so glad you're feeling a bit better, and you're right, one step at a time! It's so hard to get out of a spiral but if you take baby steps you can see your progress! I've been listening to sleep hypnosis and it's been great for taking my mind off things!

See @Daisylion it's more common than google would have you believe! I think a lot of people will have it but just are able to ignore and move on x

@HildegardeCrowe sorry missed part! Work is going well thanks, nice to have some normality back after so long! X

Good to hear @AJ297

Thank you for the reassurance. I'm worried that because the GP knows I have anxiety he won't take my symptoms seriously and won't refer me. I have private health insurance so hopefully that will convince him and mean he doesn't have to worry about "wasting" NHS resources. He's asked me to see him on Friday morning and is going to do some balance tests, whatever they are. But not sure it they will show anything if I'm not experiencing the vertigo at that moment?

The pulsatile tinnitus has only started a week ago. It seems to come on randomly but it does seem linked to physical activity eg going up the stairs sometimes but then sometimes it just comes on when I'm lying in bed doing nothing.

It's so hard when you have physical symptoms to put the worry out of your mind. Every time I manage to calm myself down I either get the tinnitus or feel dizzy. I also hate the long, long wait for tests and test results. At least its quicker going privately, I'm so grateful for my insurance.

I have been to the optician recently and mentioned the blurry eye. He couldn't find anything wrong and thought it might be cause by dry eyes. But not sure why it would only affect one eye?

Although one thing calming me down is that I had some investigations for MS a few years ago and remember mentioning the blurry right eye then and all the tests/MRI were normal. So maybe I've had it a long time and only notice it when I'm particularly anxious?

Does anyone else get annoyed with themselves that you're wasting your life? I'm really impatient with my DC, keep having to hide in another room to cry or panic, and just trying to get through the day. If I do have a brain tumour this isn't how I want to live whatever left of my life!

@Daisylion
I think your last bit describes all of us extremely well.
Regarding the tinnitus, I have it too and it is sometimes pulsatile and sometimes comes with vibration in head/body. Have you had covid? You describe some symptoms of long covid but all of it could still be anxiety. Visual disturbances could still be anxiety.

Speaking of which, most of my neuro symptoms are gone, I am so glad that my right arm is mostly back to normal and not weak any more. The only things I'm left with are the tremor/vibrations in the night and a slight feeling of hangover if I don't drink enough (and that is a lot).

Now of course I've started obsessing with moles and these two papules/little growths on my scalp that sometimes itch. I really need to book an appointment with a dermatologist but it's so tedious in Germany. First I have to go to my GP, wait my turn (sometimes hours) then ask for a referral and then find numbers and call all the dermatologists in the area until I find an appointment. The appointment has to be in 21 days, if it is longer then I have to go back to the GP and renew the referral. You can imagine how much I love calling through the doctors with health anxiety and a doctor phobia.

Thanks, I'm 95% sure it's all down to anxiety but it's that 5% possibility of it being something serious that freaks me out!

I actually had the tremors/vibrations in the night that you mentioned. So weird and scary! It coincided with a period of high stress, I also had a constant eye twitch for 3 weeks in the same place, that was so annoying. The vibrations seemed to die down and go away of their own accord when I stopped giving them so much attention and worrying about them.

It's funny how different countries are with health stuff. I can imagine that is an anxious process. I also had a mole/mark on my thigh I keep thinking I should get checked out. I bet if the brain tumour worry goes away that will be my next panic!

I wonder if I will ever be free of HA. I've had CBT, counselling, hypnotherapy and it all helps a tiny but but its still there under the surface waiting for the next symptom to pop up and make me freak out. My DH is fed up with me now!

I’ve never trusted that pulsatile tinnitus is anxiety related but my GP insists it is and hasn’t investigated further. Mine is at its worst when lying in bed at night. Now I’ve read these comments though... it seems too many of us experience this for it to be a coincidence! I’m sorry you’re all experiencing this but I feel slightly relieved!

@Daisylion FWIW, I’ve been able to hear my heartbeat in my ear for years now. Also experience the dizziness and panic attacks. Have just had some bloods done and apparently I’m very low in iron which explains a lot.

@Daisylion I have had a lot of the symptoms you have about 2 years ago when my anxiety really kicked off these were the symptoms that I was having. I was convinced it was something really really bad I ended up taking my self to a and e had scans and stuff everything was fine . They said it was my anxiety and once I got that under control it did all go away. Am currently surfing with my anxiety again but not as bad as I was then but I can feel some of them symptoms creating in some times. Its amazing the physical symptoms your anxiety can cause xxx

Morning, will catch up with everyone soon! Does anyone know if implantation bleeding can happen 2/3 weeks after a period?

@tmh88
It certainly can, depending on when you ovulated. Because you could have ovulated a little bit late. If you ovulated on time, I would say 'no'

@tmh88

Oh no, sorry, I've got that wrong. I read period and thought ovulation and then got everything muddled up.
Two weeks after period would be ovulation. You could get spotting with ovulation too maybe it's that?

@argueifnecessary it’s definitely a period actually! 😂 it’s been non stop today!

Hope everyone is doing ok I’m going to reply individually tonight! Diagnosed myself with about 10 cancers this afternoon which I’m so annoyed with myself about as I have been doing so well! Blaming my period for the anxiety x