I’ve only gone and done it!

[BeYourLongLostPaal]

I’ve always known for a few years something wasn’t quite right. I was worried about things that I shouldn’t be necessarily worryingly so much about. Keeping me up at night. Eventually I found new things to distract myself from the constant barrage of things in my head. This lead me on to shopping. I realised at 18 that Buying things distracted me from the feelings or worry and not being good enough. Not fitting in. I started not paying bills to continue my own version of therapy. I then discovered alcohol. I’ve been a problem drinker for about 8 years now. Medicating alcohol to calm my nerves. And finally when that wasn’t enough. Gambling. It was last week when I realised that there was something else going on, it wasn’t just anxiousness. I have thoughts about not being good enough. In a failure. A let down. Not wanting to live this life anymore. Thinking I was made for something better. So I finally called the doctor. I have my first appointment tomorrow. I’m so terrified but also believed that I’ve finally given up trying to mask what’s going on in my head. I’ve also stopped drinking and gambling!

Well done op, and good luck for tomorrow! 🤞

Well done! What a positive start!

Thank you! I’m really scared to finally find out what it is but it has to be done I can’t carry on like this anymore.

That’s good you have an appointment. Facing the fear that’s trapped you in its clutches for so long is hard but you’re going for it now, good for you.

Just be honest and prepared to try talking therapy or meds they offer.

If you don’t like the therapy or meds you can always go back to the gp and tell them. And if you do like them you’ve won a watch.

Life’s too short. You can do this.

I always like the phrase if you are scared you are about to do something really brave
You already sounding positive so I think you going to be fine op with the extra bit of help you might need 🙂

Well done. It's a big thing to realise yourself too.

Well done op and good luck for tomorrow xx

So just an update. I’ve been put on sertraline?! I think it’s called. Anyone got any experience will they help me?

Takes about three weeks to kick in. Just when you are thinking it’s not working! Dry mouth is a common symptom.

I have no experience but well done op, and I hope it helps 🙂

@Elieza I took my first one this morning but I’m feeling abit.... weird.... is that normal?

I noticed absolutely nothing for at least a fortnight.

Could it be you’re imagining it? Or could it be you’re so stressed about it you’re hyperventilating or whatever your symptoms are because your hyper vigilant waiting to see if something happens because you’ve had a stressful time and meds are another stressful thing to worry about when they are something new?

Or it could be a bug doing the rounds and totally unrelated?

Have a look at the leaflet and see if it falls into the category of symptoms you need to stop taking it for (which is unlikely but possible) or that advise to seek medical advice.

They have to list a whole bunch of things which is unlikely you will have so don’t freak out if when you see the length of the list. Even paracetamol has a list like that lol! They have to print it!

The only ones to worry about is the ones you need to stop immediately or seek medical advice for. If it’s one of them do what it tells you to.

If it’s not an urgent issue I’d probably keep taking them for a few days and see if it settles. Imagine how annoyed you’d be if it turns out that it’s something else and you stopped when you didn’t have to! You can always start again right enough.

I remembered getting sedated for dentistry and told the guy I was feeling weird. He said all they’d done was insert the cannula in my hand but hadn’t put meds in it yet! I’d just got myself in a tizz. Felt so silly.

So don’t worry about worrying. It’s normal to get a bit stressed. Just follow the leaflet advice.

Ahhh thank you @Elieza that actually makes me feel so much better. I’m probably just imagining things. I’ve read through the leaflet it’s nothing that’s listed on there so I’m sure it’s something unrelated now. Thanks so much I appreciate the input navigating this.

No probs. We are only human, we fear new things!

Have you tried “minute mindfulness”?

I’m sure there are loads on the internet to try. It’s basically for a minute you relax.

Even though it’s just a minute it really helps me calm myself down and deal with things. And it’s so fast there’s no excuse for me not to do it, even while the toast is in the toaster and I’ve had a bad day and just need a quick chillax! Although the pop of the toaster when it’s finished gives me a start lol!!

I used to think these things were stupid and not for me and that they couldn’t help my stress, but I was wrong, they do help. A lot.

I like the longer ones too that my councillor taught me. About five mins long. Theyre mindfulness that you imagine you’re in a happy place, I choose a beach, and then you imagine waking along and how warm and beautiful it is with a warm and gentle breeze and you imagine the smells and the sounds etc etc.

That one takes longer than a minute but I’m sure there will be a similar one on the internet somewhere if you want to try.

It’s the persons voice that makes it or indeed breaks it. It needs to be calm, relaxing, sing songy. Relaxing!

These are good to just re-acclimatise myself if I’ve been stressed.

Have a google and try if you fancy it.