What is wrong with me?

[LuckyUnderpants]

I cry at everything i hear these days

If i hear about children dying (in particular, the news about the 2 little boys who got run over on the m56 the other week)on the radio in the car, i cried all the way to work.

I havent stopped crying since yesterday after watching the kelsey briggs video that someone posted on another thread (i keep seeing her little bruised face in my head )

i came into work this morning and a collegue asked if i had a cold, no i havent, it is because i cried all the way to work again, thinking about little kelsey briggs.

I just want to go and get my ds from nursery and go home and lock my front door so nothing bad can happen to him!

Whats wrong with me, i cant stop thinking about this poor little girl

Perhaps you are pregnant

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you.

Before I had my DS, I never used to cry at anything, now nearly everything (with regard to children) upsets me.

I don't know if it is hormonal but I am the same.

Anything with kids gets me in some primitive part of the gut. It's the thought of their utter vulnerability and that they won't be able to understand fully why bad things happen to them.

I think it has something to do with acknowledging that you can't fully protect your own kids. DH gets it too, but he doesn't cry with it.

whats wrong with you??? Nothing, at all - you are a mummy

shinyhappy it would be immaculate conception if i was! unless some bugger sneeked in my house and slipped me one when i was asleep

ive been a mummy for 18 years and never been a crier, but since i had ds2 last year i cry at the drop of a hat, at first i put it down to baby hormones still dancing about, but ds2 is 15mths old now, and im getting worse instead of better, i really need to toughen up im like a blubbering mess today!

is it depressed crying or slushy sort of crying that doesn't feel 'empty' iykwim (or does this distinction only work for me)

i dont know DG, the only way i can describe is like from the pit of my stomach. ive never actually been as bad as today, usually i am pretty good at controlling my emotions and cry in private but since i saw that video yesterday its like i cant stop it, like its triggered something i was maybe supressing, sounds awful doesnt it.

I got the same feeling every time from that Tommy's ad where the gingerbread baby comes out of the oven 'not ready'... and I have never had a premature baby myself. I used to pretend to DH that I had something in my eye...

There is also this video by Sigur Ros in which a class full of kids go out to play in this post-nuclear black snow and one of them takes off his mask and dies....I cried for about an hour after seeing that on Kerrang channel of all places!!

I don't know if you have any underlying issues with your own childhood (I know I do!!) but crying needn't be a bad thing. It's just that in our society emotion is frowned upon so much, you feel like a freak. Personally when I can cry I feel a bit better than in my worst depressions where I just feel empty.

lucky, we are in a similar situation, my DD1 is 17 and DD2 is 2.3. I am definately more inclined to cry over news items this time around, but i have had PND which incidentally wasn't diagnosed until a few months ago. Perhaps a visit to the doctors might clarify things.

lucyellensmum i think you are right, i did visit my doctor months back and she(a new gp who looked about 12) told me i was suffering from anxiety and not pnd, so i came away feeling worse, at the time i was still with xdp and we were going through a bad time, we have since split up and i have been much better in the last few months, but maybe im just kidding myself for want of appearing strong and over him.

i didnt realise pnd could last this long so i had ruled that out.

should add I do suffer from depression and take anti-ds! So it may well be a facet of depression too. Though as I say, at my worst I dont tend to cry.

blimey lucky, are you me?? My main problem is anxiety, i have always been an anxious person but i have had a shit couple of years after DD was born (co-incidence) and it has made things so much worse. It really can make you feel terrible, so i know exactly how you feel. It is quite common for PND to go undiscovered for a long time as alot of people put it down to being tired etc. I refused to believe i had pnd because, firstly i had other things happening and weirdly because i was so in love with my baby, i thought people with PND didnt bond with their babies (i was wrong).

If the GP diagnosed anxiety, did she not offer you any medication and/or counselling to overcome it. Chances are, if this is what you have, it isnt going to go on its own. I now take citalopram which is a bit like prozac - its like being human again, it is particularly good for anxiety, its not a miracle cure but it takes the edge off of things and i can rationalise my fears (most of the time), i am also having counselling (jury is out on that one).

Im not suggesting that you need Anti depressants, but i certainly think you should talk to another doctor if you are still feeling rubbish. Why suffer when you dont have to. I think my ADs are the best thing since sliced bread as they have brought the light at the end of a horrible tunnel into view.

right, thats it, i've just read your profile, you ARE me (well a better looking version anyway) i am addicted to the call girl program at the moment, its the only thing i insist on watching - escapism I think its going to be good this week. I know what you mean about the book thing, i have a pile that im really excited about reading but i cant get round to it.

You look like such a lovely smiley lady, and your son is adorable by the way.

thanks lucyellensmum it does seem we have a lot in common! and i too am in love with my baby to the point of obsession! i keep imagining bad things might happen to him and just want to wrap him in cotton wool. my gp did offer me coucilling for my anxiety, but i didnt turn up to the appointment, i put it down to my bad realtionship with ds dad and once we broke up started to feel much better, and not anxious anymore, but the teariness/ability to cry at a broken nail, has not subsided.

But thankyou for listening to me windge, just knowing im not alone has made me feel much better

hello, i can totally understand the teariness, although i dont tend to cry much (i think i need to cry more tbh) instead its my temper that goes (thankfully not with DD). You have been through a rough time so it is going to take its toll, maybe for you, its a case of being kind to yourself. The only thing i would say, if the negative fears you describe still bother you (bad things happening to DS) then don't rule out anxiety. I think its perfectly normal for mums to be that way, i guess it is the extent to which is rules your life that is the measure.

I remember when i had DD1, i suddenly couldnt watch all of the gory horror films and anything bad to do with babies or children really bothered me. I used to love reading steven king books etc, it took me a long time to be able to read that sort of thing again and tbh i never really did. Also, i think i have grown out of them if you see what i mean. But following DD2 i now have to vet books that i read for "bad things" that happen. Saying that, i never get time to bloody read them now anyway

keep your chin up, and it is OK to cry when you break a nail or the hamster on the telly croaks!

ive just had another thought (god i go on (and on, and on and on!)) I think sometimes we cry at stuff that doesnt really affect us personally as a sort of release and i think thats a good thing.

I used to be a veterinary nurse and have had to deal with some really upsetting situations, however i was always very objective and hardly ever got upset, never cried. At that time, animal hospital was on the Telly, apart from shouting at the telly because i thought they were doing it wrong i would regularly be in floods of tears watching it - weird .

I still can't watch the incredible journey, in fact, my friends at uni used to wind me up with it, one friend could gauruntee to have me in tears, just be making comments about the bit where the old dog doesnt look like he is going to make it. Bastard used to say, "look, i can make LEM cry" but it didnt upset me as it were, just made me cry and laugh at the same time.