Fluoxetine/antidepressants

[Cloudd]

Hi. Need your advice/positive experiences...
Couple weeks ago I was diagnosed with severe depression and generalised anxiety disorder so started fluoxetine/Prozac for first time. It’s been 3weeks now, a did a week on 10mg and then to 20mg. I’ve seen an improvement in my mood and energy, from a 0 to a 4, but will this continue to improve over the following weeks or is this the best it’s going to get? I still feel down during the evenings, when did it start to work for you/noticeable improvements? Xx

I've been feeling a bit lonely today... but I'm ok. I sometimes feel this may be a big part of my depression...not finding a good long-term partner or having a family of my own.

I'm Keeping busy watching TV and did a few minutes exercise this morning, read and have downloaded the headspace app but not registered yet.
Will journal this evening. Thanks for motivating me!
X

@sugarlost that's a really productive but gentle sounding day! Definite pat on the back for that. ❤ I do highly recommend the Paul Gilbert book. I have it on my kindle so I highlight/bookmark parts that resonate and go back to them when my brain can't think. Sorry that feel lonely. Connection to self and others is really the antidote to depression I think. Easy to say, quite another to do. Get yourself a really nice book to journal in and a nice pen. A small treat but all these things can help.

@polelynn I'm glad that today seems better.

I've been feeling quite a bit better today. The mind chatter has been less intense and my mood less low. I had a therapy session with a friend this week which may have helped. Plus I'm coming up to 4 weeks on the increased meds. It can be a roller coaster as you know so I'm trying to accept and enjoy it for what it is and not worry about future bad days.

Sending love. ❤

@Maidenpink how has your day been so far? I hope you're having another better day. It's good you could have a therapy session with a friend. Your right it's best to take one day at a time to help stop the worry x

I'm pleased my day was ok and today has been ok. I really need to start getting out again to kill some time... there's only so much reading, watching TV I can do. I will try and work out later..if not definitely tomorrow even if I have to get into robot mode if I'm not feeling it.

It's great that book has been so helpful for you... I'll definitely look out for it when I go to the book shop!
Thanks for your journal tip... I'm currently doing it electronically but will get a nice book and pen and see if that works better.

I think I need to come to terms with my situation alone and keep myself busy again... that will help me when I have a challenging day. I have to appreciate what I have and the journalling will help me.
I feel calmer since yesterday lunchtime....it definitely is a rollercoaster journey!

@polelynn I hope your weekend is going well x

@sugarlost a trip to Waterstones for books and stationery sounds like it's in order for you. ❤ I'm glad your weekend has felt calm and been ok.

Today's been a little harder for me. Spent a lot of the day myself so been in my own head. I woke at about 6am ... I usually go back to sleep for a bit but today I stayed awake. Seemed like a good idea at the time but I've felt slightly ill with tiredness. Also ate too much chocolate last night so have felt queasy today. My anxiety was higher and intrusive thoughts were a bit more intense, and I feel quite low now. Hopefully it'll pass again and is just the tiredness. My period is due this week too so I'm wary of how that's going to impact me.

I hope you can start getting out a bit more and connecting with people. It does help. Even just going to buy some groceries can break up the day. I'm hoping to get out for a couple of swims this week.

@polelynn hope you're okay.

X

@Maidenpink yes it will be something to look forward to. I just feel like I'm going through the motions most of the time. I think this may be my life when I'm a pensioner but if I'm content by then it will be ok.

Tiredness and feeling ill isn't good. I hope you get a good rest tonight and feel brighter tomorrow.
Your period being due could be affecting your mood... it's hard dealing with the different feelings...it can be so draining at times.
Would listening to relaxing music...sea sounds, nature or whatever you like help? Maybe some relaxing yoga...it's hard getting the motivation when your feeling tired,I'll and low...it's exhausting.
I think an early night may help. Try and keep hydrated too.

I've been going out for groceries more recently just to get out of the house and it's good for me. I miss some of my friends who aren't available to meet bit hopefully that will change in time.

It would be nice if you get to go for some swims and have loved weather too. I will keep my fingers crossed for you.
I hope you're feeling better soon 💐
X

Thanks @sugarlost. I'm going to have an early night. If in doubt rest. I actually just noticed a 'mindful mix' on the BBC Sounds app ... it's of classical music. I know nothing about classical music so it's quite a nice, neutral thing to listen to. Might give it a try.

That's good you've gotten out shopping a bit. Hopefully this week will be a bit better for all of us. Xxx

Hello

Just checking in. Weird couple of days for me and very low again today which I haven't the energy to pull myself out of. Had my first therapy session this morning and exhausted/emotional talking through it all again. While thinking about some homework I've been asked to do over the next week I realised again how all consuming these feelings and thoughts are and how they dominate every little thing I do. Nothing feels spontaneous anymore, it's all so controlled. I know I'm going to need to face up to them too to reduce their power which is scary prospect. I'm cross with myself too that I've let it get this bad and now I'm here it seems like an enormous mountain to climb. I'm really not very good at this self-compassion stuff. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

Hi @polelynn, well done getting through your first therapy session. I'm sorry but not surprised to hear you feel drained and low after going over your difficulties. Therapy is hard work, you're allowed to feel crappy. I understand that you feel scared by the prospect of the work ahead. A good therapist will take you through a bit at a time and you do have input into how fast things move. I know it feels like a mountain to climb but just try to focus on the small steps you are taking, you will get there a bit at a time. You've done a lot already by seeking help, taking the medication and showing up for therapy. As for self-compassion, could you try to think about yourself as if you were someone else, maybe one of us on here, and think about the compassion you could show them? It can be a bit easier to do that with the caveat that you are no different. Our suffering and our struggles connect us in our humanity. Go really gently today and try to rest. You will get there. ❤

Thank you @Maidenpink, wise words. How are you feeling today? I'm sorry to read you had a difficult day yesterday.

@sugarlost how's things with you?

@Maidenpink I hope you managed to rest. I don't know anything about Classical music either but I do listen to it occasionally as it helps to relax me. I hope you had a better day? x

@polelynn sorry to hear you have been feeling low. I agree with @maidenpink regarding your therapy journey ahead. Please try not to be cross with yourself. It's good you reached out for support. We have to remember to be kind to ourselves and that we are not well and reaching out for support is a great thing whenever we feel able to do it. Try not to overwhelm yourself by stressing out over the homework, do what you can, today was your first day so it can be alot to take in and as you said it has been draining.
Those spontaneous moments will come again...so many good things will come to us all again x
Can you do anything relaxing this evening?

I exercised today which was good..this thread has been encouraging me! I felt stressed from work today but that's not unusual. I wish I had a better work balance but I will have to practice coping mechanisms. It's good for me to be busy and help distract my mind from intrusive thoughts.

I was meant to meet a friend at the weekend but that was cancelled so I probably will not see someone I know for 15 days...I don't normally count. I think that contributed to my loneliness but I'm ok at the moment. Will probably have an early night as I'm tired.

I have to try and take one day at a time to help me cope emotionally going forward. I've got my increased medication but I'm actually not too bad so I may see how I go on the 20mg before taking the increase.

Some days are definitely better then others but we can do it

@sugarlost thank you again for your kindness. I'm glad you managed to do some exercise today, I'm sure the chemicals that releases will help you.

Work/life balance is so tricky isn't it. My work was all-consuming and in a way I really miss that element of it as I had to be so present and on it. Unfortunately in time the role and environment did me more harm than good. Unsurprisingly I wasn't too good at the coping mechanisms either and burnt out, thus I'm where I am now. I'm confident there'll be something more suited to me when I'm better and stronger but reflecting on my anxiety/OCD and the role I was in, they weren't exactly compatible!

Sorry to hear your plans were cancelled but hopefully you can fill your time in the meantime with things just for you, investigate coping mechanisms for your work/life balance and remember, rest is so very important to our recovery too.

Tonight, well I thought I might join you both and listen to some classical music.

Hi,

Have had a busy day so my intrusive thoughts were pretty intense but I was finding I wasn't becoming overly distressed by them ... I could carry on. Still, not fun. I slept well last night which prob helped me get through. Today and yesterday have been harder but not as hard as a few weeks back. Better but by no means 'better''. I feel like I'm at the stage where I can seem completely normal from the outside, whereas before I couldn't even manage that. Progress. Still wary of bad days. Going out for a morning swim tomorrow, hopefully that will help.

@sugarlost well done on the exercising. I agree, being kept busy and engaged does help to move focus away from the internal wheels turning. Just got to be careful not to overdo it which can be a problem for me sometimes. Hopefully you'll be able to catch up with friends a bit more frequently now.

@polelynn I hope you're feeling a bit better this evening and get a good sleep tonight. It's just one day at a time. I'm good at giving out the wise words but not so good at listening to my own advice! There absolutely will be something you're better suited to, if you do this work on yourself you'll be much more attuned to what serves you better.

❤❤❤

@polelynn how you doing today?

Not great again. Intrusive thoughts on max volume. I think capturing them for my homework is making them feel more real than ever and reinforces the impact it has on my life which makes me feel low and hopeless. Just listening to the BBC Sounds playlist you suggested to try to distract myself.

How was your morning swim?

Sorry to hear that @polelynn. The work you're doing is very confronting and difficult, I'm not surprised you feel a bit overwhelmed. One day at a time.

The swim was great. My anxiety and intrusive thoughts feel more intense today so it was hard to go. It has helped but I still having the constant whirring of anxious thoughts. My period is due in a couple of days so I'm hoping what I'm feeling is amped up by hormones. Are you still premenstrual?

I glad you had a good swim @Maidenpink, those endorphins you'll release will help. I'm sorry you have had a difficult day too with your anxiety and intrusive thoughts. Wouldn't it be good to find that off switch, if only for a couple of days respite. My period was very odd this month, only a couple days long but as I take HRT uncertain if I am still having proper periods these days. Any plans for tomorrow?

Thanks @polelynn. Was just talking to my OH there saying I know I'm a bit better but still my brain is really not a fun place to be. Find myself thinking 'is this it?' but need to remind myself that I'm not there yet, still got a way to go. If that makes any sense!

Do you find you feel better as the evening wears on? I do ... which is typical in depression. Tomorrow I need to take my eldest to a class and may be meeting someone out. How about you? Do you have bits of homework to do every day? Xxx

Hope you are having a good day and managed your meet up @Maidenpink. My mood very much depends on what challenges the day brings but yes, do feel calmer of an evening though I think that's because others are home so more distractions. Today has presented lots of challenges but I'm still here fighting. Homework is to write a list of triggers, what my thoughts were, feelings and actions in response. There's plenty of them and I'd like to say it's been cathartic writing them down but that's not been the case, merely it seems to give them more power and my compulsions have escalated this week.

My daughter is at her prom dress appointment now with my Mum. I'm sure she'll have a wonderful time (and it's far better I'm not there to cloud things with my anxieties) and my Mum is going to take lots of photos.

@sugarlost how are you?

Hi,
@polelynn I hope your compulsions decrease soon. I’m sure the therapy will be very helpful but the journey to recovery can be rough at times and reflection can be difficult as you’re finding.

I hear you about job not being suitable and affecting condition. I’ve been in jobs that have made me ill which is sad on reflection but I have moved on and you will to.

I find my mood also depends on the challenges the day may bring. I often find evenings hard due to increased awareness of being alone.
I don’t feel like cooking anymore and normally shut the curtains so I don’t have to look at nice weather while I’m stuck indoors. After work I just want to go to bed and for the morning to come.

I’m more aware recently that my social life may never go back to what it was...it may as well be full lockdown. Anyway I shall make an effort to go out to the shops this weekend. I really need to make an effort to do things by myself when the weather is good If no one is available to go out with me. Making plans definitely helps.
Currently I feel a bit empty inside...yesterday I felt ok in the morning but then sad as the day progressed...I have highs and lows a lot but it’s good I’m not crying like I did in the past.

I did not excercise today but work was distracting and I had no motivation to look after myself...binged on sugar which I have to stop doing.

Music can be so helpful in relaxing!

I hope your daughters appointment is going well😊.

I often find it a relief when I’m stressed/ anxious not to do certain things but often sadly I feel like I have no choice...I hate that feeling. I need to be stronger and look after my mental health.

@ Maidenpink I’m glad your swim went well and hope today is lovely for you.

Is this it feeling..I’ve been thinking about that relating to my life but I think it’s just a challenging time for me...I’m hoping. I’m sure things will improve for us all but we do need time and to be kind to ourselves.
I was putting myself down yesterday...it’s like I need to be reprogrammed to just be carefree and happy.

Wishing you both a relaxing evening XX

@Maidenpink it’s good you’re not getting overly distressed by your intrusive thoughts but it’s hard having to deal with them. In time I hope we all continue to improve with our coping mechanisms.

Regarding not overdoing exercise...I don’t think that will happen at the moment as sadly the motivation isn’t there like it was before but I plan to improve to a realistic level.😁

Hi, I just wrote a message then clicked on something by mistake and lost it. Hope you're doing okay, will reply more fully later today. Hugs x

@sugarlost I was thinking about your lack of interest with cooking. Have you tried the box meals you can have on subscription? Might be worth looking into and could re-motivate you with some new recipes.

I remember you asking me a few weeks back about crying in here. Do you feel you need that release of emotions?

Appointment went well, thank you for asking. They FaceTimed throughout so I could see most of the dresses so I felt part of it. For the first thing in a long time I was able to forgot the way I am yesterday afternoon. She has a beautiful dress, a real classic. I'm so proud of the young lady she is becoming.

@Maidenpink hope you are okay.

Time*

Hi,

@polelynn that sounds lovely re dress shopping. I'm glad it went well. Your homework sounds really challenging. I wonder if your therapist said to expect to perhaps feel a bit worse before you start feeling better? I really think as your dose increase kicks in it will make it much more doable for you. You must be 4 weeks in now? How's today been?

@sugarlost I wonder if a dose increase would give you the extra boost you need. Did you decide to put it off again because you felt a bit better? I can be bad with sugary stuff too. Another unhealthy coping strategy.

The past few days I've felt a bit worse but I was pretty sure it was a premenstrual exacerbation. My period arrived today and mood has improved markedly. Those fizzing, whizzing anxious/dark/obssessive thoughts have calmed right down. I feel sort of normal. Have been out every day this week and seen people. It's been hard but I've ploughed on to try to keep telling my brain 'I know you feel like everything is scary but we're carrying on as if it's not. So get over it'. Going in the sea is really helping too. Making more social connections through it (and finding that most other people are struggling in some way) has made me feel less disconnected and kind of the same as others. I just don't think we can underestimate the impact the past year has had. We're still going through it. So we do need to be kind to ourselves. It is okay to be struggling. And it will end.

Xxx

'I know you feel like everything is scary but we're carrying on as if it's not. So get over it'. @Maidenpink that is brilliant 👏🏻. So proud of you for having the courage and strength to forge on through. Well done.

Feeling a lot calmer today (yes I'm just over the 4 week point) and a few things which would usually trigger me I've been able to almost shrug off. Very different from yesterday where I was almost back to square one. I'm almost feeling quite curious again about life. I've also accepted how I feel rather than feeling guilty, that in itself is a huge step forward.