Fluoxetine/antidepressants

[Cloudd]

Hi. Need your advice/positive experiences...
Couple weeks ago I was diagnosed with severe depression and generalised anxiety disorder so started fluoxetine/Prozac for first time. It’s been 3weeks now, a did a week on 10mg and then to 20mg. I’ve seen an improvement in my mood and energy, from a 0 to a 4, but will this continue to improve over the following weeks or is this the best it’s going to get? I still feel down during the evenings, when did it start to work for you/noticeable improvements? Xx

Thank you @Maidenpink. Sorry to hear you had a tough day too. I think I'm expecting too much, too soon and seeing others get on with their lives too frustrates me as I just cannot join in, despite very much wanting to. Hugs too.

Yes, I understand. It seems so easy for others it can just compound the despair. But truly you're not alone. And you also never know what people are dealing with below the surface. Just keep taking baby steps. ❤

Hi, how is everyone doing? I've been very depressed today, had a big crying spell earlier. I'm 3 weeks on 40mg dose increase and I feel like I'm no better at times, tho my OH assures me the overall trajectory is up. So tired of feeling this way. I did something which really pushed me out of my comfort zone on Friday and it went well and yesterday I managed to a few hours work at the computer, first time in 3 months. I know I should be pleased at managing these things but it's so dispiriting to still feel so bad today.

That is brilliant @Maidenpink. So proud of you that you took that leap of faith on Friday, that must've given you a real boost. It is great to hear your OH is noticing an improvement in you. It really is a roller coaster isn't it but I think the better days will soon start to outnumber the harder ones for you.

Thanks @polelynn. ❤ I guess all these things are worthwhile but I'm just so sick of feeling so down. How are you getting on?

Hi @Maidenpink sorry to hear how you've been feeling. I hope you're feeling better today? It's great you managed to go on your computer.

I feel like I'm on a rollercoaster at times...at the moment I'm on a big dip with intrusive thoughts. The GP has agreed to increase my medication. I don't know if this is a positive but recently I had been able to cry which wasn't possible since starting my medication in January. I think feeling lonely makes me feel worse as much as I like my own company I often feel sad returning home alone after meeting friends or family. Sometimes I go to bed early as I don't feel like doing nothing or I just can't concentrate on TV or reading.

@polelynn how are you today? I'm sure it will work out getting your daughter's prom dress whatever is agreed on what would be the best option regarding shopping. I get stressed over small things so I can imagine how anxious you may be feeling.
I'm also pleased your assessment went well...it makes such a difference to feel supported... mental health is so complex and time, medication and support will hopefully help us all.

I feel trapped in alot of ways in life and feel like I've been lying to myself regarding an inner happiness that I never really had.

To everyone who is struggling.. thinking of you x

Hi @sugarlost it's good to hear from you. Sorry things feel so up and down still. I hope the medication increase helps. I do think the times we've been living through have a lot to answer for. I've felt such a profound sense of disconnect and isolation at times and I live with my OH and kids. I like my own company too when I'm well but even as an introvert I need to have enough social contact to keep things in balance. So I think those feelings of loneliness you describe and understandable and exacerbated by the circumstances of the past year. Depression makes us feel alone and cut off and it can be hard to remember that we were actually happy before it kicked in. It's the nature of the illness. But you were well before and you will be well again. I do think getting the right dosage of medication is important. The first time I was on an SSRI I went on too long at too low a dose through fear, but when I eventually increased it made all the difference. Do you have someone to talk to or are you waiting for counselling? Hopefully as things open up too it will help you feel more connected. Keep in touch. ❤

Hi everyone

@sugarlost I'm so sorry you are having a difficult time of it with your intrusive thoughts and that you feel so lonely. Being unwell, as we are, is very isolating and it's understandable you have the doubts you do. @Maidenpink is right. I think the increase in dose will help. I understand your reluctance, I really do. I think it's partly a fear of becoming reliant and partly a fear that what happens if it doesn't work, where do I go next.... does that make sense? I have been on 40mg for nearly 3 weeks and spoke to my GP this morning. I am definitely having some more positive and lighter moments during the day, after a few very low days (which is the depression part due to the impact our intrusive thoughts and anxiety has on us). Not every day, but enough that I can begin to see glimpses of overcoming this. I've even managed to do overcome a couple of small challenges over the last couple of days. Do keep talking to us here. We understand, and to me this thread feels a safe and supportive space. Do you have RL support too?

So I had some good news today.... The CMHT got in touch and my treatment (CBT in the form of ERP) starts next week. It gave me a real boost and I'm really hopeful this is the beginning of the end of these darker times.

Re the prom dress, we have asked my DM. She doesn't know I'm unwell (my choice) and feels very honoured that we've asked her. DD said she'd obviously love me to come but her DG is the next best thing. I'm sorry that I can't go but it's the best outcome and they are going to FaceTime me so I feel part of the appointment too.

@Maidenpink how have you been? I've been thinking of you.

@polelynn that's great news about your treatment starting next week! Glad you've felt some positive feelings after that rough few days too. And so good to hear how things have turned out re the prom dress. That all sounds lovely, it's great when something positive comes out of what seemed like such a difficult situation. And well done on overcoming a couple of your challenges.

I've been a bit better the past couple days. Intrusive thoughts still abound but I've felt less overwhelmed by them. I'm getting out and about more but I still wake up with the fear of my own thoughts and wish it was bedtime again. Baby steps though. X

Thank you. I'm so pleased to hear you've been feeling better over the last couple of days @Maidenpink and that the intrusive thoughts are at a lower volume. Well done on getting out more too. You must be around the 4 week mark now of your increase, so a couple of weeks yet to reach their full effect? Slow and steady is definitely the right approach. Really hoping this improvement is sustained for you.

Thanks @polelynn ❤ I'm 3 and half weeks into dose increase. Hopefully the next couple of weeks will bring a bit more stability. Not sure if you're aware but according to OCD Action website the anti-obsessional effects of SSRIs can take up to 12 weeks to kick in fully. Useful to bear in mind when you get to a couple of months that there's still improvement to be had even then.

@Maidenpink I think you can certainly expect that. Thank you for sharing that. I wasn't aware and that makes me feel even more hopeful. Hope you have a good day today.

You're welcome @polelynn. OCD Action is an excellent resource, well worth a look. Hope you have a good day. ❤

Hi @Maidenpink & @polelynn I hope you're both having a good day. I'm going to start my new prescription next week. I'm also going to try and more focussed to deal with situations that arise that I need to sort out by myself.... sometimes it can be a simple as booking an appointment when I'm struggling but I give myself a pat on the back for that. It's really hard at times when I'm feeling low and have to put on an act to the outside world that I'm fine and smiling. I've no real life support as noone knows I'm ill, I'm ok with this. I've had counseling in the past and currently not ready to have more.

@polelynn I'm wishing you success with your treatment.. it's so encouraging there is support available and it gives us hope!
Good plan about your daughter's prom dress😁

@maidenpink glad you're feeling a bit better. Those intrusive thoughts are upsetting...I hope in time they will go for us all or they decrease and we have coping techniques to help us.

Lately I've been going to bed earlier as I've nothing to do and feel sad...when I finish work I'm so tired and my other medical condition contributes to this.

I'm going to try and visualise a happier future in the hope it helps in conjunction with my medication.

Do you ladies exercise ? I normally find it helps my mood but no motivation for it recently .. I'm going to try something more relaxing to see if that helps.

Thank you for this thread and your contribution... really helps knowing I'm not alone

X

@polelynn that was supposed to be a smile!

@Maidenpink I'll also check out that website. Thanks x

@sugarlost good to hear from you and I'm sending you a hug. I'm sorry you don't have RL support but I understand.

Have you tried gratitude journalling? It's meant to be helpful in focussing on the positive. Also, in terms of you visualising a happier future, do you use the Headspace app? I've been using it for the past 2 weeks first thing and it has been helping me. Maybe worth a try.

I used to run but had to stop due to another condition and right now I'm relatively housebound. I used to find it quite meditative, pounding the pavements, reflecting on work and home stuff and running it out of my system. What exercise do you enjoy?

@sugarlost and you are most definitely not alone. We are here.

How is everyone?

I had the most horrendous afternoon/evening yesterday. Very dark thoughts, feelings of guilt, self sabotage and that I have failed at everything - my career, as a wife and a Mum. Text my DH saying he was better off without me and how I'm a horrible person. Spent a lot of time in tears, howling at one point with all the emotion and weight of it. If it wasn’t for the children I not sure what the point of it all is. Feel absolutely drained today so going to be kind to myself and take it easy. Period is due too so wondering if it's connected. I often get quite low but nothing like this. This is such a rollercoaster, I just want some relief from it.

@polelynn so sorry to hear this. Sending you a very big reassuring hug to let you know you are not alone in those difficult feelings. Try to remember, that they are just feelings, not facts. They just feel so intense and that gives them much more weight than they deserve. These thoughts you describe are really typical of a depressed brain so in a way they connect you to all of us going through similar things, it's just the kind of chatter depressed brains make. But it is not real and it is not true. Whatsoever. I know how tough it feels in the moment though, I really do. Go gently today and remember you are going through a process, you are not there yet. I wouldn't underestimate the effect of being premenstrual either, I have horrid exacerbations of depression/anxiety when I'm not well and premenstrual. Drink water, rest, eat well, and take your time. This too shall pass.

I was just coming on to message when I saw your message @polelynn. I'm doing okay ish. Still far from well and thoroughly sick of the horrid thoughts that just seem to crowd out my mind. I feel everything is so fragile and I'm still have times like you describe @polelynn. But on the upside I've been managing to do a bit more this week, another little bit of work and I've taken up a new hobby: sea swimming. I've been out a couple of times and it really does help the mood. Plus I go with people so there's social connection too. It was a big challenge to pluck up the courage to do it but I'm so glad I did. It hasn't made everything better but it's introduced another focal point that's a good thing. I do practice yoga at home too which is helpful. Just maybe 10/15 mins most days.

@sugarlost I understand that feeling of putting on a brave face for the world, it can be so draining. And absolutely do reward yourself for all your achievements however small. I journal and at the end of an entry I jot down what I've managed on that day and some things I'm grateful for, no matter how small. Perhaps as lockdown eases you will be able join a group in the evening or try something new. But I do understand that desire to get to bed, working is itself a big achievement.

Let me know how you're doing. X

Thank you @Maidenpink, your feelings not facts comment really helps and I kept this in mind this afternoon when I had an unexpected challenge to cope (or not!) with. I kept repeating that mantra afterwards. It's difficult not to feel depressed isn't it when we are dealing with these horrid, invasive thoughts.

That's absolutely brilliant you've taken up sea swimming though. I've always been tempted as live quite close to the sea. It's meant to be great too for dealing with peri/menopause. I've a couple of friends who do it locally so might consider it as a goal to work towards once I'm back out there.

I hope you have a good weekend.

@polelynn thanks for your advice and kind words. I will try journalling and have a look at the app.
I was doing aerobics but think I will try yoga again for something calmer ànd look into progressive muscle relaxation mentioned.

Currently I'm in bed again after another tiring day but I'm ok but also feel drained.

Sorry to hear how you've been feeling and I agree @Maidenpink mantra Is the way to go! I hope you get a good rest tonight and wake up feeling refreshed and brighter. Depression is exhausting at times but sometimes I find a good cry can help...I haven't been able to do that for a while (medication effects I think). A few years ago I would cry nearly every day from the illness..in some ways I feel I've improved but in other ways I don't.

I hope in time your health improves and you can run again... these things can make such a difference and connecting with nature... just going for a walk and getting some air can really help me at times.
Remember we are all special and loved, we need to be kind to ourselves.

I find my period can make me emotional and getting older I'm reflecting more, sometimes caring less about things but also more anxious at times too...I feel unsettled and no idea what the future will bring but hopeful to experience some happiness and Relief that you mention.

@maidenpink Sea swimming sounds like fun! Well done for starting! It's great to have things to look forward too.
I've signed up for an online support group for my health condition and when restrictions ease I hope a group I use to meet restarts...if not I aim to try and keep myself busy in a positive way.
I am taking on both of your feedback on journalling.

Work is an achievement but exhausting...I wonder how many others feel like me. I am grateful for having a job though.

@polelynn the intrusive thoughts are so upsetting...to be free of them is a big goal for me.

Sending hugs and best wishes to you both. Wishing you a lovely weekend too x

@polelynn @sugarlost I'm glad you found the feelings are not facts thing helpful. I can't take any credit for it, it's a CBT thing I think. But it can help you gain a tiny bit of perspective when you're really struggling. A couple of books that I've found useful are 'Overcoming Depression' by Paul Gilbert. Also 'Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts' by Sally Winston and Martin Seif. The first book in particular is so helpful in understanding what depression does to your thinking. The second makes you realise so many people have similar types of wild thoughts. It's just with some of us they tend to stick much more. With all of this it is the practice of self compassion for our own suffering that's so important. And can be so challenging too.

Glad there are opportunities for connection in the offing sugarlost. And polelynn going in the sea could be something to hold in mind as a longer term goal.

Hope you're feeling okay today. ❤🌱

@Maidenpink @sugarlost Thank you both for your kindness and compassion, and thank you for the book recommendations too.

Today is a better day. You are both in my thoughts. X

@Maidenpink good timing for your book recommendations as I've been looking at books online regarding depression. You're right about practicing self compassion but it can be hard at times with this illness. It's important to also have a support network if possible and things/treats to look forward to however small they may be.

@polelynn glad today is a better day for you and I hope the feeling continues for you.

Wishing you both a lovely weekend and thank you for your support too.

X