Health Anxiety - Part 4

[polkadotpixie]

I hope no-one minds me starting a follow up thread. I know some people were waiting for me to update so I thought I would but happy to ask MNHQ to delete if one of the long term posters wanted to start it 😊

@polkadotpixie sorry you’re having a tough time at the moment, that’s good you’re feeling a bit calmer! You’ll probably find it’s on and off until Thursday when you have your appointment. I’m always the same waiting for something - I’ll feel ok for a while then panic again, then feel calm, then panic again! 🙈 that’s me at the moment waiting for my blood test results. I’m sure after you have your results on Thursday, you’ll be feeling much much better!

@Skyliner001 that’s so interesting about the euphoria you mentioned! I love that feeling when your worry has been alleviated somehow, it’s like being on cloud 9!

@KasparKat big hugs - sorry you’re having a tough day, I hope you’re feeling a bit better now.

I’m not feeling too bad at the moment, the panic is always a bit better in the evening then peaks again when I go to bed, but I’m doing all the comfort things I do when I’m worried or feeling low - eating a lot and watching Harry Potter!

@ofwarren hopefully you’ll get your results soon!

🥰🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼 For all waiting for results.

I'm settling down with a film and snacks. Good evening wishes to you all!

I am feeling a bit better tonight thanks. No idea why, although maybe the hour of crying helped?! Chest tightness is still better than yesterday although can feel it a bit more now than earlier in the day. Not sure why it's always worse in the evening.

I googled a bit earlier (I always put anxiety into my Google searches so less likely to come back with cancer!) and saw that both dizziness and tight chest are common symptoms of anxiety. I did know that already but it helped a bit to see it written down.

I'm going to see how I feel on Monday and then either call the GP or if I can I want to wait until 3 weeks after my vaccine so I have some covid immunity in case he wants to see me or do any tests.

Think I'm also feeling a bit anxious about DC going back to school. Although in some ways it will be a relief as working and homeschooling was so stressful I'm also really going to miss them. There will also now be the worry if they get ill whether it's covid or not, and reminding them to be hygienic at school! Not looking forward to packed lunches and school uniform laundry either.

Also interesting that now I'm worried about chest pain and dizziness I'm no longer worried or even notice the sinus pressure I was worrying about for weeks before the chest tightness worry came along!

I've also bought that Help me I'm a hyperchondriac book!

@polkadotpixie just wanted to say when I was a teenager I had a water and kidney infection that lasted on and off for months. I had several courses of antibiotics that didn’t touch it, had lots of scans etc and in the end a combination of a really strong antibiotic, not wearing jeans and not drinking anything even slightly acidic stopped it. They can be really bad and can last for ages!

@KasparKat I’m also struggling with anxiety over the school return, seems more scary this time than last time after a nice summer!

Hope everyone else is ok this evening x

@Skyliner001 I get stuck in that cycle of relief but then the what ifs too. I would definitely liken my symptoms to OCD too, sometimes I just can’t settle my mind without doing checks and I am also very superstitious about health too.

@polkadotpixie hope everything goes okay with your MRI scan and just think of it as a step closer to getting some answers. Will you get results today? X

@polkadotpixie Good luck lovely, we're all here for you today, be it before, during or after! Well, obviously not during, that might be a bit weird! It's going to go well I'm sure of it.

Thanks 😊 It's at 3pm and I won't get the results today. Bit nervous as I know I'm going to be in the tube and it's very loud as I had one years ago for a knee problem but I'm not overly claustrophobic so I'm sure I'll be okay

@polkadotpixie hope it goes well today.

After a reprieve yesterday my tight chest is back again today but I also have a slight cough like there is a frog in my throat all the time. Argh. Panicking again that there is something wrong with my lungs. Think I will have to call the GP tomorrow but not sure how long I will have to wait for a telephone appointment.

@polkadotpixie good luck today, will be thinking of you.

@KasparKat hope the tight chest improves today and that you manage to speak to your GP quickly. Horrible waiting for the phone call when you are so anxious.

Good luck @polkadotpixie ❤️

Terrible checking day for me today! Spent most of the morning lying on the bathroom floor checking my boobs so my husband can’t see me doing it!

I’ve been doing so well with breast checks, I’m starting to wonder if checking them is a sort of control thing for me when I’m anxious about other stuff...in this case my youngest going back to school tomorrow.

Thing is, I know I have other similar feeling bits in the same boob, they just don’t feel exactly identical. Almost like little blisters if that makes sense.

@MrsWhites yes my therapist said to me I look for these worries with health as a way of having control over something when everything else is out of my hands so to speak! Think it’s because for me I’m on furlough and in a really niche market so I wouldn’t just pick this job up again anywhere else! I would have to retrain in something to get another job x

@tmh88 I’m starting to think that’s what I’m doing, I have been really rational about my boobs recently but today one little itch was all it took to make me check them and now I can’t stop. I’ll have a feel, eventually decide they feel ok but then 5 min later it’s like a compulsion to start checking again!

I hope your furlough doesn’t last too much longer, very difficult time for those in specific industries x

@MrsWhites I think it will be! It is like you say a way of gaining control over something in your life! Yes hopefully, did speak to my boss and they are planning to have me back October this year! I won’t of worked for 18 months then, being at home is starting to really affect me! I can’t win though as I’ll be a nervous nelly when I’m due back I can already tell 😂 x

@MrsWhites I so so so feel your pain, on every bit of your previous posts. I am exactly the same, I went through an absolute boob loop last week, and it was exactly as you describe.

It's so hard for me to get my head around the fact that the problem is mental. I can never know what is going on in my breasts, all I can be is breast aware, but I need to learn to accept that this compulsive checking is part of my obsessive compulsive disorder.

It's so so hard, and I just wanted to send a sympathy.

I'm trying to resist the urge to check, and I've had a really good 48 hours.

But I am the same in that if I start to check, I can't stop, because I then get trapped in the cycle of euphoric relief after checking, and then the obsessive compulsive bit to go back and recheck even though I know I have just done it.

Just sending you sympathy anyway, as I am exactly the same.

In terms of lack of symmetricalness, I also have bits which feel similar in the other breast, but not exactly the same, some of my areas of concern feel completely different on both breasts though, and sometimes I have a similar bit but it's much bigger on one breast, or much smaller than the other.

We are not completely symmetrical, and that's such a nightmare when you're checking.

Sending love anyway X

PS I also try and check in secret!

@polkadotpixie
Good luck for today. I just keep my eyes closed for the whole time, so I can't tell I'm in a tube 🤣
My jaw is really getting on my nerves today. It's throbbing underneath, where the glands are and my face keeps going numb or tingly on and off.
I've still not had my re referral to ENT so I'll have to ring the doctors tomorrow.
I'm worried it's something to do with my salivary gland but the oral surgeon wouldnt even check, just said he's referring me to ENT instead.
Feels like nobody wants to check the actual area. Even the MRI people refused to.

@tmh88 18 months is a big break, I’m sure it will be nerve wracking to go back after so long but it’ll take no time to get back into it! Hopefully we will get a nice summer for you to enjoy before you go back!

@Skyliner001 thank you! Like you say the hardest part is getting out of the cycle of checks once you start again. I am also only just coming to the end of my period so never good to check at this time of month because of my increased anxiety and they also probably feel more lumpy at this time of the month too. I hope you can keep up your good run of not checking. I’m going to try and get through the rest of the day without checking anymore x

@MrsWhites You can do it, don't forget nothing can grow in the hours that you're not checking. And you can't ring your GP anyway today! Not that there will be anything at all there! But that's what I try and tell myself about the weekend. My breasts are bad or month around to be honest, although they may be a slightly worse during my period and in the build up, but they just feel lumpy to me all the time😂😂😬

@polkadotpixie Good luck, I'm sending good vibes your way x

Hope you feel better soon @ofwarren x

I'm currently trying not to worry about my appointment tomorrow. My friend said 'either way you'll be glad you went' and I'm like, EITHER WAY?! That's not what you're supposed to say 😳 I keep thinking it'll be fine, I'll have reassurance tomorrow and can put this all behind me and then my brain says, you absolute arrogant bastard thinking you will be lucky enough to avoid bad news 😔

@MrsWhites I've been the same this morning, trying to discretely check. I've got the same in mine, little lumps and bumps similar all over but not completely symmetrical. All I can compare it to is the little bits inside an orange but a bit firmer. Have you googled what fat looks like under the skin? That helped me. Also if you feel around the groin area, backs of knees etc you should feel the same sorts of lumps and bumps of fat just smaller. Or I hope you do anyway, because if not I might have found something else wrong with me 🤣

Agree with the above, some of my bumps are harder, some are less hard, some are a bit bead light, or a bit grizzly. There seems to be so many different types of tissue in the breast.