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Mental health

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Original poster

Need a bit of kindliness

76 replies

DumbledoresGirl · 01/11/2007 10:02

Is it safe to post here without being jumped upon by complete strangers? The Mners who don't like the fact that some of us are not always happy have blocked this thread, haven't they?

I am feeling really stressed and anxious today and would so love to have someone put a kindly hand on my shoulder (metaphorically speaking) but when I tried for this yesterday, I was jumped upon a bit.

OP posts:

EffiePerine · 01/11/2007 10:30

Just go ahead and ring the rest of the list. The head may take ages to get back to you, and it's better to have options . Think of it as sending out application letters - you wouldn't wait till each one came back before sending the next cos you'd miss the deadlines.

Do you have any contacts in local schools who could ask around? Sometimes an informal approach works well.

onebatmother · 01/11/2007 10:30

Hi Dumbledoes
sympathy re cold calling, it is horrid and with anxiety problems even horrider.

Re: what if the first one gets back to you after you've called some others?

first school will totally understand if you say that you've contacted another school in the meantime. Will probably kick themselves though!

If they're the first on the list bcs you like them best, and you're worried that another school might accept you and then your first choice accepts you too, you can tell second-choice school you're very sorry, but a more convenient/local school has made you a subsequent offer. They will completely understand.

God, this is way too much detail isn't it?

foxinsocks · 01/11/2007 10:31

phone now and then we can nosily enquire what they said [hwink]

foxinsocks · 01/11/2007 10:31

ooooooh it didn't work

poor hatted wink

persephonesnape · 01/11/2007 10:34

DG, the first school is just unlucky, because you'll have a placement by the time they ring you back. ring the second one, you'll feel tons better after - i can (almost) guarantee it!

Original poster

DumbledoresGirl · 01/11/2007 10:38

Ooer, went away to make a bed (thinking it was better to keep busy) and there are loads of replies. Yes, I suppose I do have to resume the ringing...after this post though!

OldWotzBat, I would have told you ds1 loves secondary before today, but today (and last night) he was very upset about having to go back (holiday finished today). I think I have been pressuring him too much re homework and he is feeling stressed about the subjects he is not so good at. Guilty mother

His tears last night and this morning are just one of the other stresses on me right now.

You know, I don't evern want to go back to teaching? I don't know that I can fit in any work with being a mother. Isn't it just the way, you start to look into returning to work, and suddenly, a whole string of minor crises turn up, nothing major, but enough to make you question how you would manage them as a working parent.

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foxinsocks · 01/11/2007 10:42

yes, I know what you mean DG. I went back to work in September and my children (who have hardly had to visit the doctor in the last year) have been permanently unwell. 2 course of antibiotics between the 2 of them, sent home from school on numerous occasions and this morning, I have to take dd to the doctor even though I know she is not unwell as the school want a rash that she has checked out .

I really wanted to chuck it all in last week. Felt like I was going to spend my entire working life in tears trying to sort it all out but you know what, you have bad patches, you work through them and you come out the other side stronger.

Whatever life throws at you, you'll cope with it. You've done so so far. You just think you can't do it whereas if you stopped and looked at your life, you'd find that actually you manage every day, all the time, you're just not giving yourself credit for it.

OldWotzBat · 01/11/2007 10:44

May be that is the real issue, your hearts not in it ATM

DD1 started in Spe - has been up and down, she didn't want to go back either and is rather fed up ATM. Lots of homework too. Its a big jump for them isn't it?

And I have lots of homework to help with now.

Sorry to hear your ds has been that upset.

LilRedWG · 01/11/2007 10:44

Not sure what happened yesterday but have a (((((HUG)))))

Original poster

DumbledoresGirl · 01/11/2007 10:50

2nd school did not answer phone. WTF?

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Original poster

DumbledoresGirl · 01/11/2007 10:56

3rd school engaged and then when I rang back later, got answerphone. I get the feeling no-one wants to talk to me.

OP posts:

EffiePerine · 01/11/2007 10:58

It's a busy time of year, that's all. Keep trying . Also, have you considered writing to them as a back up?

I doubt they're screening your calls

onebatmother · 01/11/2007 10:59

they do! remember that the heads don't answer the phone, the secs do. and in my experience like doctors receptionists they've got being sniffy in their job description!

zippitippitoes · 01/11/2007 10:59

email them with a cv attached

TotalChaos · 01/11/2007 11:00

no taking answerphones/engaged phones personally. I've been phoning schools recently for different reasons and either seem to go straight through to the head or get answerphones and no calls back. have a cup of tea and do some more. I do sympathise, I hate making phone calls too.

MoaningMirtle · 01/11/2007 11:03

call schools at lunchtime, you have a small window there where it is easier to get hold of staff. the only other times are at 8.40 and 3.15 and if you've got kids yourself that's hopeless

Original poster

DumbledoresGirl · 01/11/2007 11:14

God, now I am being attacked on yesterday's thread! What on earth gives people the right to butt in and wind people up with their ignorance?

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zippitippitoes · 01/11/2007 11:17

i havem
nt seen the other tread but rise above it...people don't understand tghat is their lack of humanity and experience

onebatmother · 01/11/2007 11:20

quite new-ish here but blimey, does this happen often? Just seems so.. misdirected!

The meanness I mean.

I get ludicrously cross often and sometimes post without enough thought, but cross with people's opinions not with .. them, iyswim.

OldWotzBat · 01/11/2007 11:22

yes stay away from there now DG, I have just posted so sorry that it has gone back up on ac's.

rise above it.

Original poster

DumbledoresGirl · 01/11/2007 11:23

Errr, I would like to say I had risen above it, but I have not. I have been rather rude back.

Onebatwoman, I would also like to say it does not happen often, but I am afraid it happens more often than make me entirely comfortable right now. I am not one for aggression when it is not needed and I have lately been feeling quite cagey about posting on MN. Not all of life's problems are treated with respect IMO.

Sod it, I can't ring any bloody school now. I am a mess of tears.

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zippitippitoes · 01/11/2007 11:24

if we could just not have a mental health problem life would be dead simple i guess..people are strange...it is ignorance and stupidity and unwillingness to engage with the world whoich makes them the poorer in the end

so forget that thread just don't look at it any more

TotalChaos · 01/11/2007 11:26

finish crying, sort face up, poke your head out for fresh air, and another cup of tea. Then get back phoning. Don't let some ignorant *** control your real life.

onebatmother · 01/11/2007 11:29

yes splash face with cold water, deep breath, tea, fresh air, look at a silly web thing of kittens jumping out of their skins. Sorry, how horrid for you.

Original poster

DumbledoresGirl · 01/11/2007 11:30

Thanks zippi and TC. You are both very wise.

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