BPD

[Toomuchtooyoung01]

I have recently become aware I have BPD.
Please can I ask for advice from others on how they manage to be a good mother to their children while living with BPD? specifically around not getting angry and not feeling empty/a strange feeling of disconnection?
Thankyou x

I have BPD but no kids yet.

Found this lady online. (Borderline recovery mum)

I was never formally diagnosed, but I met the criteria. I think having my DD has been massively healing for me, I think it might be called remothering, you create the bonds that perhaps you didn't experience yourself and your brain changes.

The good news, I think is that we are probably more sensitive and more emotionally tuned in to the needs of our child because we probably had a difficult childhood ourselves in which our needs weren't met. The book that really changed how I was towards my daughter was "how to talk so kids will listen and how to listen so kids will talk" it was really helpful in just thinking about how I could just be alongside her and be supportive without my own anxieties or anything like that coming in. The other book I always recommend is The Body Keeps the Score, which highlights what's going on in our brains, and for me understanding this, and the divide between our emotional brain and our rational brain helped me manage how I was feeling without getting into destructive behaviour.

Hi ...my DD has diagnosed traits of BPD with depression, she is 19 and has struggled with mental health for about 2 years. With medication, she is on a course of therapy called DBT / Ro-DBT and is making steady progress. This has been privately funded but it’s worth looking it up and finding out what might be available for you. Good luck Op 🤞

Dbt and workbooks!
Can't recommend this one enough!

If kids get too much for me then I usually walk away, take a few minutes to calm down.