Health Anxiety - part three!!

[MrsWhites]

Hi ladies, back again for thread number 3!

@polkadotpixie at least now you can get it sorted and won't be worrying x

Hi everyone, I haven’t been getting notifications from mumsnet about this thread. I just thought everyone was very quiet today!

@Skyliner001 my anxiety really ramps up before my period and I get quite down too. Glad you are feeling a bit better.

@polkadotpixie welcome to the group, you’ll find everyone really helpful. I hope you get some reassurance at the hospital.

@ofwarren sorry to hear you are struggling, panic attacks are just awful. I hope it passes for you soon.

I've been sent home as my bloods are fine and have to go back tomorrow for a CT scan of my kidneys and if that's clear they'll do an ultrasound of my gallbladder

They were lovely and very kind regarding my anxious state so hopefully I'll get some answers tomorrow 🤞

Welcome @polkadotpixie, hope you get some answers tomorrow. I was recently diagnosed with what I initially understood to be gallbladder sludge, but having read notes thoroughly it's "sand" so teeny tiny gallstones. Bizarrely I was happy as Larry with that diagnosis as obviously I'd been googling and imagining all manner of nasties for months.

for you @ofwarren. We're always here when you feel down.

Bras- I'm 34dd and took possession of some amazingly comfy and totally unattractive bras from M&S yesterday, to replace my Playtex monstrosities.

Welcome @polkadotpixie I started writing a message to say hello to you yesterday, and it disappeared! Just wanted to say hello, and also emphasise about the googling until the page has run out. I feel like I've been through every single page about certain subjects online, it's so frustrating isn't it!

@ofwarren We've missed you! So sorry to hear you are having such a bad time

Thanks @MrsWhites It does seem a little bit better now, anxiety wise. I'm logging my periods and symptoms at the moment, I'm sure we'll see what it's like next month. I do feel a lot calmer today. It's been horrendous! Just as an example though, I was able to rest my hands on my breasts yesterday, without searching for lumps.

Morning everyone.
I'm a bit calmer so far today so I will spend some time catching up with the posts on here.
I was at the hospital having a panoramic mouth x ray yesterday and I'm getting a real hospital phobia. I ended up having flashbacks to when my son was in hospital having his liver transplant and interestingly, a flashback to the time when I was around 10 and my mum left me with my disabled brother while he was in the middle of a serious epileptic fit and she had gone to phone help.
I never knew this affected me in any way, but it obviously did.
I think I'm going to have to take a chaperone next time I go the hospital. My son has a sunflower lanyard so I'm thinking of wearing that.

Good luck for today's results @polkadotpixie 💐

Thanks everyone

I've just had my CT and now waiting for the doctor to give me the results so feeling pretty anxious

@Polkadotpixie are you getting your results there and then or are they sending you home?
The wait is just awful isn't it 🥺

Oh my goodness, newcomer here and I am so glad I found this thread. This past year has been awful for health anxiety. Currently, I can't touch my neck for fear of finding that my lump has got bigger. If there's an itch on my neck, I won't scratch it. I'll just sit there uncomfortable until it passes. I get my husband to feel my neck every single evening. I had the lump investigated, multiple bloods taken, and I've been reassured that they don't think it's anything sinister - but to "keep an eye on it". I think that's what triggers me.

@getmeacupoftea
I can totally relate to that.
I'm a pulse checker, if I feel any "sensation" in my body, I start feeling if my pulse has gone funny.
I also relate to the refusing to touch thing. I'm the same with my breasts. I know they are lumpy and cystic so refuse to check them as they will just tip me over the edge.
It's an awful way to live.

@ofwarren I'm getting them today. If the kidney CT is clear I have to come back tomorrow for a ultrasound of my gallbladder as apparently they can't fit me in for that today

[quote ofwarren]@getmeacupoftea
I can totally relate to that.
I'm a pulse checker, if I feel any "sensation" in my body, I start feeling if my pulse has gone funny.
I also relate to the refusing to touch thing. I'm the same with my breasts. I know they are lumpy and cystic so refuse to check them as they will just tip me over the edge.
It's an awful way to live. [/quote]
You're right. It's exhausting. I went through a huge pulse checking phase. To the point I'd convince myself that I had no pulse, and was imminently going to die. Even though I was up and about and walking around town or something. No pulse but could still carry shopping bags and push a pram 😂

@getmeacupoftea Welcome! You are among friends here, I am exactly the same about my breasts!! They are a major trigger for me. Although I can also worry about cervical things, ovarian, and going to logical thing is, as well as lymph-node's in general. You are very welcome! So you find yourself here, but we all support each other X

[quote Skyliner001]@getmeacupoftea Welcome! You are among friends here, I am exactly the same about my breasts!! They are a major trigger for me. Although I can also worry about cervical things, ovarian, and going to logical thing is, as well as lymph-node's in general. You are very welcome! So you find yourself here, but we all support each other X[/quote]
Excellent! Thanks for having me. X

@getmeacupoftea welcome! I’m another breast obsessive, they are what really started my health anxiety! You’ll fit right in here! 😂

@Skyliner001 I write down everything that happens to me period wise too, it started after a bit of spotting 2 days before. It helps me to calm down when I have something to look back on and realise that the same thing happened at the same time last month! Hope it helps you too x

Any news @polkadotpixie ?
Keeping my fingers crossed for you 🤞

I'm okay thank you 😊

CT didn't show anything in my kidneys so I have to go back tomorrow for an ultrasound of my gallbladder

They did by chance find a cyst on my right ovary but it's never caused me any problems or pain. They're going to scan that tomorrow as well anyway

That's good news polkadot!
I've had ovarian cyst many times and they just go away on their own.

Brilliant @polkadotpixie About the scan! Good to have the ultrasound to, that's strange about the cyst! I'm sure there are lots of us living with things inside the body, and not knowing about it if they don't cause any trouble, good to get it scanned though!

What avoidant behaviour does everyone else have?

I wont watch hospital programmes or films that mention serious illnesses, disease or have a focus on death.

I won't read news stories about death or cancer

I skim past topics on Google searches that mention death and cancer and I would really love an app that would let me filter those words out altogether

I hide threads and boards on Mumsnet that mention these things too

I refuse to check my breasts, or even touch them at all. If I had the money and wasnt scared of general anaesthetic, I would seriously consider getting them removed.

I won't leave the house without my phone, in case I get ill and need to ring 999

There are probably a lot of other behaviours too.

@ofwarren that’s a good question, made me think of what I avoid.

I avoid touching my boobs as much as possible so I use a sponge in the shower and lots of bubbles or flannels to cover them in the bath. I don’t touch them putting a bra on either, sort of wiggle them into position instead.

I get dressed and dried with my back to a mirror or I find myself checking for dimples etc.

I don’t watch programmes about illness for example I won’t watch it’s a sin about the HIV pandemic, I won’t watch films about a character getting cancer.

I turn over when cancer research type adverts come on tv but then feel guilty about it.

I try not to read stuff about someone getting a rare type of cancer on daily mail or anything like that but often I crack and read them and then worry about it all day!

I god yes, I forgot about adverts!
I do the same, I turn them over and I block any I come across on social media.