Health Anxiety - part three!!

[MrsWhites]

Hi ladies, back again for thread number 3!

Had such a good day yesterday, but this morning accidentally poked for about 10 or 15 minutes.

I had been squashing my boob lying on it all night, and had sort of flattened the nipple, plus in the dark I thought I saw a shadow. But the nipple has gone back to normal now, and the shadow was nothing.

Does anybody else worry when they Lie on their side that they are squashing their boob?

Thank you everyone for the lymph node reassurance. I’ve been pretty good, no poking this weekend so far now it’s just controlling the mental thoughts....the what if’s!

@Skyliner001 glad to hear you are having a good weekend!

@onlyreadingneverposting8 the baby immunizations are the worst, I cried so much when I took mine. I think yoUr worries are probably heightened by so much talk in the media about vaccines, side effects, symptoms etc. not to mention your son’s medical condition!

I hope everyone else is doing well this morning. I’m off food shopping and then maybe watch a movie or something. If anyone has amazon prime there is a decent new movie on there, I watched it with DH last night - Greenland with Gerard Butler.

@MrsWhites yes you're probably right! I too am doing the "controlling the thoughts" it is incredibly exhausting just trying to isn't it?!! The constant conversation in your head!

Good luck everyone today! @Nogodsnomasters hope little foster child is settling in - would love to foster although I think I'd be rubbish at letting them go!

@Skyliner001 good luck with no more poking today - I'm sure you can do it!

I am with you on the thought thing, the physical poking is one thing, but the thoughts are another. I'm trying to think of my brain like another muscle, I'm trying to burn new pathways in it to get rid of these old destructive ones.

Did a bit more poking, led more by thoughts than symptoms! Breast and armpit a bit sore on left side so that's triggering. Asked partner to check. Leaving it to weds now. Determined to get 72 hours 🤞🏼🙏🏻

Hi ladies, hope you're having a good day, I've just re-filled the birdfeeders, and it's snowing here!

Not a bad day so far, a bit of a bad start with the shadow and the squashed nipple.

But feeling a bit better now, determined to go for 72 hours… If I could just quiet my head down :-)

Hey everyone. Hope the non-poking mission is going well

I was awful with the baby vaccinations too, and that was before my HA even kicked in! I made my grandad take my eldest DC in because I couldn't do it!

@KasparKat I've also been the really, really rare one too so I get how scary that is. The pre-eclampsia that kicked off my HA was missed by doctors because it was my third baby and I was perfectly well after the birth so was sent home. 24 hours later I collapsed and became very ill very rapidly. Then my anaphylaxis was out of nowhere as I'm not allergic to anything and the doctors never found the cause. For a long time I was terrified of eating or using anything new and I'm still really anxious about medications.

@Nogodsnomasters good luck with the new foster child

@ofwarren it's very likely your headache is from the tension of having had a bad anxiety day yesterday. It happens to me a lot. Hope you're feeling better.

Evening lovelies. Not been around for a few days because work got mad busy and stressy (kids accused of cheating by exam boards, statement to be made for each one etc. ) Catching up with you all now.

I think for the worst bit of HA is that uncertainty when you have a symptom and you don't know what it causing it. Its that uncertainty that really gets my anxiety going, even if the symptom in itself isn't even that serious.

So I have been worried about ongoing sinus pressure. I really don't genuinely think I have sinus cancer or anything serious but it is making me SO anxious not knowing what is causing it. I am having online CBT and my therapist called it "intolerance of uncertainty". Which totally rings a bell when it comes to health symptoms.

The weird thing is that I think I am pretty good at tolerating uncertainty in other areas of my life, and actually the pandemic has certainly taught me how quickly things can change! But I can deal with the thought of not knowing e.g. what will happen with my job, what school my kids will get into, whether i can see my parents this year etc. etc. but give me an unexplained health symptom and I just cannot deal with it at all!

I have been having some success this weekend with the elastic hair band on the wrist method. So each time I got anxious about my tight chest I told the thought that it is just the anxiety talking and I am OK and snapped the band against my wrist 3 times. I found the idea by Googling and it does seem to be working. In fact, every time I've started to get a tight chest I have done the hairband thing and the tight chest hasn't progressed and has even got better. I have no idea the theory behind this but I was in such a bad place I thought I had to try something new. I actually panicked last night having lost the hairband when o got ready for bed!

Also ashamed to say that I just necked a swig of vodka in secret (I honestly don't have an alcohol problem) as I could feel the anxiety of back to work creeping up on me (have a lot of stress going on at work at the moment) and now I feel like I don't care about anything. I'm not proud of it. I really don't drink much at all, and it's definitely not a good long term solution but it has really taken the edge off tonight and the Sunday evening dread of work/homeschooling!

Does anyone else dreading good events? Like half term is coming up and I want it to be a lovely relaxing time and I am already stressing that I'm going to "ruin" it by massively stressing about some health symptom. I feel that HA ruins everything good so I almost dread the good stuff

Wow, that must be so stressful @TheSilentStars. Do other stresses make your HA worse or are they actually a distraction?

Hi @KasparKat Thanks for sharing how you are feeling. Emphasise on the uncertainty. It's interesting how HA causes us to act in a way we don't outside it.

I find I'm much more logical outside my HA.

Evening everyone, i’ve had an ok day until I heard about someone dying young. I was torn between feeling the panic and feeling the absolute guilt of still being alive when she isn’t and i’m sabotaging my own opportunities by falling for the anxiety every bloody time!

I totally understand what people mean about the uncertainty. I think the constant searching for a reason for any old symptom is what feeds our anxiety - I don’t know what else it could be for certain so it must be cancer. That’s my default anyway.

The uncertainty is absolutely it. I know my palpitations (or whatever) have been caused by panic and anxiety a thousand times before, but this time could be something else...

I'm going to try the hair and thing though I think. Thanks for the tip.

Weird! I wrote a reply to @KasparKat and it's not here! Oh well!

Completely empathise with the uncertainty anxiety and the not enjoying things due to a symptom! That happened at Xmas!! Then there's the worry of a potential bad thing happening and new symptom stopping me from enjoying things and the worry when there's nothing to worry about that something will come along - this is the constant living in the fight or flight mode that's talked about.

Playing catch up so sorry for the long post!

@mrswhites completely agree about Google feeding the ads on social media and it drives me up the wall. DDs nursery have a private parents Facebook group too so I stay online for that like yourself. As for lymph nodes remember they can all swell if you’re fighting a cold (even if you don’t feel you have one your body could be fighting a virus) and if you’re stressed

@tmh88 our brains certainly always think of the more negative! It does sound muscular, although you need to remember that when you have a section not everything will have been put back exactly as it was before - everything has come out to get your baby out, then it has been put back, so it could just be muscle, tissue, or other body bits you can feel. Plus once you’ve had an epidural, back/rib pain is going to be more frequent and will be a permanent thing. Your body goes through a lot to have a section so I would put it down to that 😊

@ofwarren @mrswhites I have a mouth guard too for tmj/teeth grinding. I wear it maybe 2 or 3 nights in a row per month (can’t stand it any longer) and I do find it helps. I have a clicky jaw and after the first night I can feel that it’s been realigned

I am driving myself insane!!!!! When I think ‘does my nipple feel sore?’ When it’s not bothering me, bingo - it starts to feel sore, and by the end of the day, it’s really sore! I’m sure this is just in my head but it’s driving me up the wall because I can’t be 100% sure 🙈 honestly I’m starting to think generalised anxiety would be better than health anxiety because this is just a nightmare. I haven’t googled though and I’m not going to because all it does is stress me out.

Anyway! Hope you’ve all had a lovely weekend. We must be the only part of the country that hasn’t got snow. A few flurries this evening so hoping for a whiteout tomorrow 😁

Evening all. I’ve not popped in for 2 weeks or so - so maybe the sertraline is working.
I’ve been on them since NYE but over the past couple of days I’ve started to feel sick like I did at the beginning. I’ll see if it wears off.

I’m going to try and read back now x

onlyreadingneverposting8 honestly if you have the room for a child you should go for it! It's hard of course but worth it to know you're making a difference.

I hope everyone's Monday morning is going well.

Thankfully I forgot about my aortic artery once the pulsating stopped. I believe I'm getting thrush though from the antibiotics I'm taking from my tooth infection/ear, so I'm gonna have to pull out my medicine cupboard and see if I have any cannesten cream left if not then a trip to the chemist. Does anyone else have an extensive medicine cupboard that's ridiculously overflowing or just me?

@dillydallydollydaydream7 hi sorry probably should of said at the time but I had a vaginal birth with shoulder dystocia (less than 1% chance of happening ) I do think that birth permanently did damage to my stomach/womb etc as I know tmi.. but I had to have hands up to get DS out from behind my pelvis! I didn’t have a spinal or anything as of the curve in my spine! I try remember when I get pains that one, my stomach muscles are split don’t know how far but none the less never gone fully back together and two, I have scoliosis so it’s most likely that not some bizarre cancer of the rib

Hi ladies sorry I’ve been quiet, had a very busy weekend, it helped to keep me behaving myself and not prodding and poking everywhere, today however, I woke up with heavy sore ish boobs. I am mid cycle When I looked at them in the mirror they look slightly bigger, especially the left and the areolas look sort of puffy.

Is this an ovulation thing? Does anyone else get sore bigger boobs during ovulation?

Hey @kasperkat yes i dread good events all the time. Always think that ok going to ruin it or everyone else will be enjoying themselves whilst I am suffering and I will have to put on a brave face. Which makes the event feel like a chore!

Morning everyone,

@Nogodsnomasters it’s amazing work that foster parents do! If you do have to go to the chemist I honestly wouldn’t bother with the cream, I had it last month and the chemist gave me a tablet (to swallow), it was about £2 and worked a treat!

@Goolies I would definitely put that down to your cycle. I think nipples can definitely get puffy, so nothing to worry about x

Hi everyone feeling surprisingly calm and not anxious at all today!! No clue why but it’s nice for a change how is everyone?

@Goolies Oh God yes! But not always the same for month-to-month, so never always enough to get used to it being a cyclic thing, so it still freaks me out!

Mrswhites thank you! We do our best with what we have 🥰 oh really? I've never heard of that and so cheap, I must ask! The cream is so expensive, the last time I had thrush maybe a year ago the doctor prescribed me a pessary as I had no external symptoms and it was discovered after a smear test, but never tried a tablet before, is it also by cannesten?

Th88 (not sure that's right username) oh enjoy that feeling while it lasts, I absolutely love that feeling, so relaxing to be anxiety free even for short bursts.