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Original poster

*Trigger warning* My Mum is trying to drive off to commit suicide I don't know what to do

84 replies

OriginalD0G · 10/01/2021 16:15

My mum is disabled and was attacked horrifically by my "dad".

It's all a big mess police involved etc. She is really struggling whilst staying with me our house is tiny so she's in a caravan on my drive which is not at all ideal - all whilst he is in their house.

I went for a walk today and when I got back my mum was in a state and asking for car keys she wants to go and kill herself. She's begging me to let her go and is so distressed last time I called the gp who was useless I just do t know what to do to help her I can't cope with this I have 4 DC who already have enough on their plates and it would destroy all of us if she succeeded.

My head is a mess what can I do to help her?!

OP posts:
Lovebug06 · 10/01/2021 17:22

What did the police say? Are they sending someone out? She may think of it as betrayal now but it could save her life, and when she is well she should see that too. You are unable to help her but these people can Flowers

dancemom · 10/01/2021 17:24

I'm so sorry you're going through this op

Maskedcrusader · 10/01/2021 17:25

Depending where you are you can call out of hours social services. There should be an ASW on call who will come and access (the police will defer to them anyway). There may be a long wait because demand is so high right now.

Original poster
OriginalD0G · 10/01/2021 17:25

Yes they're sending someone but not on blue lights. I'm sat with her and so is my wonderful DH

OP posts:
XenoBitch · 10/01/2021 17:26

I hope your poor mum gets some help... but if this is all triggered by your dad still living on the same property then no pills or sectioning will help with that. Him living there is what needs to change.

Original poster
OriginalD0G · 10/01/2021 17:27

Xenia I totally agree but until he is prosecuted it's not really possible

OP posts:
Kittykat93 · 10/01/2021 17:35

I think the fact she's told you she was going to kill herself probably means she doesn't actually want to and it's a cry for help.

empiricallyyours · 10/01/2021 17:40

Sorry about your Mum, I also think it's worth you looking into this (if applicable) if you haven't already. He really shouldn't get to stay in the house and she in a caravan! Unless he is sole owner?

www.gov.uk/injunction-domestic-violence/eligibility-occupation

nomorename · 10/01/2021 17:42

@Kittykat93

I think the fact she's told you she was going to kill herself probably means she doesn't actually want to and it's a cry for help.
Not true...please don't take that for granted
Nannewnannew · 10/01/2021 17:52

nomorename
I agree, this theory used to be bandied around but is definitely not true.
OriginalDOG Your poor Mum and poor you. You have definitely done the right thing phoning the Police. I do hope you both get some help very soon. You must be distraught.
Am thinking of you, not that that is much help. 💐

Cavagirl · 10/01/2021 18:02

So so sorry OP.
I've unfortunately been in this situation before (needing to call for the police for credible suicide threat) and they were several hours which at the time they said was not unusual - as you say they won't blue light to you. I'm not saying this to worry you - but please ring again if they are slow, and be pushy to make them come sooner, if your mum's state declines.
You're doing the right thing.Flowers

NerrSnerr · 10/01/2021 18:06

@Kittykat93

I think the fact she's told you she was going to kill herself probably means she doesn't actually want to and it's a cry for help.
Unfortunately this isn't true.
Original poster
OriginalD0G · 10/01/2021 18:34

Police spoke to ambulance service they've called me with a phone number someone mum can't talk to but she won't call them

OP posts:
Cavagirl · 10/01/2021 18:44

Is that "while you wait" or are they no longer coming out to you?

Gliblet · 10/01/2021 18:45

How is your mum doing now If? If you're still worried that there is a risk she will take her own life then call back and make it clear she's beyond using talking therapy services and needs immediate help.

Original poster
OriginalD0G · 10/01/2021 18:46

They aren't coming out at all. She has calmed down a bit more

OP posts:
anxiousturtle · 10/01/2021 18:49

They aren't coming out at all.

This is awful, I'm so sorry. Did they say why they aren't coming?

52andblue · 10/01/2021 19:00

Ach. So sorry OP that you are all going through this.
What are they suggesting if they don't attend?
You all need support here.

RJnomore1 · 10/01/2021 19:05

Oh love Im so sorry you are all dealing with this.

DPotter · 10/01/2021 19:08

I'm so sorry you're in this horrible situation. This is where you need to get reaallllly antsy

You and your DH are not trained mental health professionals. You mum will not engage with the help they have offered. She is still a suicide risk. You are unable to sit with her all night to make sure she stays safe.

I suggest you call the number they offered you and ask the service what they suggest as she's refusing to engage and is still at risk. If they don't come up with something you think will work - call 999 again and tell them to get someone out to her this evening - she's not engaging with telephone support and she's still at risk. And whilst they're at it if the see a car with registration blah blah blah - the police stop it because she left you and she's on her way to kill herself. You can't be a quiet mouse - you have to make yourself an irritant which they have to do something about.

tyranny · 10/01/2021 19:11

Call the number yourself, explain, and ask for help. If it’s a crisis line they will be able to provide immediate advice and are exactly the people you need. Better than police.

Mammy1981 · 10/01/2021 19:18

Keep ringing the police and/or the crisis team. They can come out and see your mam. You need support that’s what they get paid for. Police should have come out for a welfare check. My friend is occasionally suicidal and he rings the police they come straight away. Tell them you need their support. God bless you and you family I know how hard these situations are c

RiaOverTheRainbow · 10/01/2021 19:24

Would your mum agree to go to A&E? From experience that should trigger crisis support which would be faster/more effective than going through the GP.

This sounds horrendous for all of you Flowers

TimeToCloseTheDoor · 10/01/2021 19:25

@OriginalD0G

They aren't coming out at all. She has calmed down a bit more
Call them again.

You both need support this evening. I appreciate it’s busy but that doesn’t mean you should accept nothing.

Bless you op

Mammy1981 · 10/01/2021 19:31

You rang them over two hours ago. This simply isn’t good enough. Please try to ring back and explain that she needs a welfare check at the very least. I hope your mam has calmed down but she still needs some help tonight bless her xx