Health Anxiety - Part two

[MrsWhites]

Hi everyone, it seems we have reached 1000 posts on our original thread which is amazing, just shows how much support we have been able to give each other.

I thought we would benefit from part two!

@ofwarren could be a migraine?

I'm out now. She said I'm getting nerve pain from my ear and sinus as they are still inflamed and the leg is just my sciatica.
My ear is knackered though 😔 She said my ear drum is grey and full of old scarring and she wouldn't be surprised if I have some hearing loss.
I have had issues with it in the past, not ear infections just pain and when I'm underwater it feels strange on that side.
She said I need an ENT referral.

I'd forgotten you had an ear infection. Sorry to hear about the damage in your ear but hopefully you can now put to rest the MS/brain tumour fears.

Yes, I feel calmer knowing what the problem is. She said that if it was my brain rather than a nerve, the tingling would be down my torso too, not just my limbs. That was really helpful for me.

@Skyliner001 ah I do know what you mean, I will lie down, check and think to myself ‘yeah nothing there, all done’, will literally sit up and go ‘well actually did I check right’ and then I’m back down again! I also have bouts of numbness which probably coincide with checks. I actually wondered the other day if I left them alone for a few months would all the lumps disappear, I mean for all I know it could be my constant checks causing them or at least make them worse. It will never happen though, at the moment I struggle to go more than a few days! Definitely try distraction, if all else fails, rant away....you’ll be ok x

Hi all, I stumbled on this thread accidental but commenting on an AIBU about sertraline. I’m a teacher and for obvious reasons have had a horrible year in terms of health anxiety. I never show this to my pupils by the way! I have always internalised my emotions. Not sure I’ll be a regular poster as I tend to dip in and out of MN (due to my triggers!) but can I just say it’s been comforting to read this thread. Thank you.

I'm sorry to hear you're stuck in a breast exam loop @Skyliner001. I've done that today quite a bit too. It took my mind off the spotting but I feel drained. You know when you're doing it it'll make you feel worse but it's so hard to resist. I'm going to try the 10 minute wait thing you suggested @Catsneezies.

@ofwarren I'm glad your appointment helped today.

Hi @motherrunner
Being a teacher must be an awful stress right now, I know I couldn't do it.
Glad you found the post helpful

Thank you @ofwarren. I’m wfh for 9 days out of 10 (2 week timetable) so feeling “safe” at the moment but every time an education announcement comes up I feel my heart race. Ironically when I’m in school I don’t think about it, it’s when I’m at home and I have time to think I worry! The Sertraline had been a massive help and my GP had been wonderful listening to me cry and never forcing me off the phone. I’m so sorry for everyone’s anxiety but it’s comforting to know I can reach out to people who are feeling the way I do.

Welcome @motherrunner 😊

@Skyliner001 thank you. It really has been a help to read this thread.

Really good to hear @motherrunner This thread has been a lifeline to me, I'm so grateful to@MrsWhites For setting it up! I'm pleased to be a part of it, and I'm so grateful to all the ladies here who share their struggles and symptoms.

I think I've just done a good thing, I've made a bullet point list of the actual facts about my concerns to do with my breasts. I have made sure I have written the logical things about them too. I've sent a list to myself By email, and now I am determined not to Prod. It's to try and get the thoughts out of my head.

So instead of turning them over and over I know I've written them down, I know I have my list, and I can refer to it if I need to, but in the meantime I'll just get on with my life.

Hope you ladies all have a good evening! I'm trying to decide what film to watch… Does anyone have any recommendations for Netflix or prime!

@Skyliner001 I was a huge ER fan in the 90s and discovered ‘code black’ on prime. I am hooked!

@motherrunner welcome to the thread, so good to hear it’s helped you already. You’ve obviously had a really stressful year work wise!

@Skyliner001 I’ve just watched virgin river on Netflix and I’m now rewatching scandal which is on prime. Cheesy but I also enjoyed Bridgerton for a bit of light hearted relief!

Big afternoon for me...I got a bath! I mean I watched my iPad throughout and covered my boobs with a giant flannel and a mountain of balloons but still...I was in there and I didn’t check anything! 🎉

@Skyliner001 that sounds like a really positive thing to do! I once wrote down things like ‘it’s been there for years’, ‘there are other bits that feel the same’ etc etc and it did help me for a while to refer back to that!

Oh and I’ve thought of another prime recommendation - Vikings x

Crikey things move quickly here! I've had a busy week but have been feeling quite low mood wise. Now health anxiety has kicked in this weekend. I know I should probably take something for it but I hate taking drugs at all. I had a couple of years of Prozac in my late teens but it caused my platelets to fall and I had a miscarriage whilst taking it so I've always refused drug treatment since.

Hope everyone else is doing better! @Catsneezies I totally agree with you! I had invasive checks for something that as soon as I was told I was ok the symptoms went. They were definitely stress.

@onlyreadingneverposting8 A lot of us seem to be having bad weekends! Sorry you are feeling low!

@MrsWhites Thank you. It’s hard to reach out to people on MN. I tired a few groups on the Staffroom but then felt they were feeding my anxiety. It’s hard to ‘escape’ somewhere.

Does anybody else find it hard to believe that it's their anxiety that makes them re-check.

I was just thinking about re-checking my breasts obsessively today, and thinking how I think that is because I might miss something, I think that is because the doctor has missed something, and I think that is because I've not done it properly.

The reality is that circle is probably my anxiety, but when I'm spinning I find that really hard to believe.

And I worry that if I take the eye off the ball, that something bad will happen. It's weird

Your last comment about feeling that if you take your eye off the ball something bad will happen really resonates with me @Skyliner001. What set my health anxiety off 12 years ago was me having a serious health issue that the doctors dismissed and then DS having a serious issue that the doctors dismissed - both of which I had self-diagnosed on Dr Google and turned out that I was right and the doctors were wrong. So for me it reinforces that I am the one who is responsible for my and my DCs' health and that I can't trust doctors either. I think it has left me with the feeling that if I'm not hypervigilant I will miss a health concern that turns out to be serious.

For that reason I have to avoid any of those awful stories in the press like so-and-so finds out she has cancer and dies two later etc.

Also, someone mentioned watching ER upthread. I would love to watch medical dramas but they massively trigger me. Whatever the person is suffering from on TV I end up convincing myself I have it! Apparently its really common for first year medical students to get temporary health anxiety as they learn about all the different illnesses you get and how they present. Lots of first year medical students have numerous A+E visits apparently!

Welcome to @motherrunner.

I have been watching Married at First Sight Australia on All4. Totally trashy TV but utterly escapism. I often find documentary style things more escapist than dramas as its real life but happening to someone else. Not sure if that makes sense but I find it really relaxing. DH hates it and has to leave the room while I watch it!

Thanks @Skyliner001 that's kind of you! We moved to a new area in October and being stuck in the house not able to meet anyone or travel back to where I have a couple of friends is taking a toll on me I think.

@Skyliner001 yes, when I’m in the cycle I find it very hard to accept that it’s the anxiety but it definitely is. Like I’ve said, I try to imagine my anxiety almost like it’s own little personality sort of whispering down my ear telling me that i’ve missed something or that something I’ve seen is a sign that there is something wrong with me that I’m ignoring - think very Jiminy Cricket 🤣

@Catsneezies I’ve been watching married at first sight too, it’s been my lockdown guilty pleasure!

Things have moved too fast for me to catch up on! going to try for an early night tonight but welcome to all the newbies it’s the best thread on this site!

Also I check and then 5 minutes later think I’ll just check it was the correct lump I was feeling and not a new/different one! So nice to know it’s not just me that feels like that

@tmh88 That's exactly what I mean! 😳