Health Anxiety - Part two

[MrsWhites]

Hi everyone, it seems we have reached 1000 posts on our original thread which is amazing, just shows how much support we have been able to give each other.

I thought we would benefit from part two!

And @dillydallydollydaydream7 don't beat yourself up. You have done amazingly this week and that panic doesn't change that. Plus you have finished it by doing the laying down clinical style exam. You're doing really well!

... I'm heading into Sunday hoping to do better than yesterday. 😊

@Skyliner001 I’m so tempted to try setraline too, I’m just so scared!! I’ve heard so many mixed things, so glad it’s working for you. The two weeks that were bad... how bad are we talking?

Pretty bad, increased anxiety, fatigue, had a couple of days when I couldn't get out of bed. But about 10 days in there were glimmers.

Important to say that as I started taking it I found another two breast lumps and thought the cyst was coming back. Turns out two more cysts and the other one didn't come back. So I was in a bad place generally!

The doctor told me she wasn't worried about the cysts, and as it happens both those two have receded now. It taught me a valuable lesson!

Unfortunately in the course of the breast exam at the doctor surgery she pointed out my enlarged lymph node on the side of my neck, which she wasn't worried about… But us health anxiety sufferers know how the story ends… Totally left a Brest alone, and obsessed about the node for three weeks solid!

Interestingly, in the course of leaving the breast alone, both of those cysts receded. So it almost did feel like poking was not helping them. It felt like it was agitating them!

Does anyone else have various health anxieties, that they almost scroll through when they feel that they can leave one alone?

"Okay, I'm okay with that one I think, but wait, what about this one?... this is definitely the one that's something bad."

@Skyliner001 yes, I do that. It’s like if my brain doesn’t get the response it wants from one worry it forces me onto the next one. It often happens to me in the mornings when I first wake up ‘right what was I worrying about’ and my mind goes through the list until I latch onto one of them. Yesterday morning it was my breast, this morning it’s the lymph node in front of my ear.

Will try another day of no poking and prodding 🤞

@MrsWhites oh my goodness, this forum is a lifesaver! I'm so glad it's not just me… It's almost like scrawling through something on the phone, it's so weird!

Right today is the day that I am determined, I have done a Best exam this morning and a quick lymph-node exam. And I'm going to go for a long walk, and then going to cook tea and watch a film, and enjoy the dog and enjoy the house without worry. ParagraphI am determined.

Good luck to everybody else trying to have a note for the day, we've got this!

And non-poke day that should've said!

@Skyliner001 that’s totally me too!! It’s like my brain doesn’t know what to do when I don’t have a worry, I’ve worried about 3 different cancers in the space of a week. Sometimes i write down all the things I have worried about, it helps me temporarily but then of course anxiety takes over and I start thinking... yeah but it’s the one I don’t take seriously that will get me. Can’t win!!

Good luck today ladies my day didn’t start great, ended up providing around this morning and I’m mid cycle so don’t even know what the heck I’m feeling anymore. But I’m up and showered now and will get out the house hopefully the distraction will help

@Skyliner001 that’s a great description, it’s like when you mindlessly scroll through your phone. My mum once said to me that I worry if I haven’t got anything to worry about and she was absolutely right, it’s like my mind can’t settle if I’m not worrying about some sort of symptom so it searches for the next thing constantly.

I hope you have a good day today, I’m going to try again too, did pretty well yesterday but just need to stay away from this lymph node, I have woken up with a bit of a blocked nose so hoping it’s just that which has caused it to swell, it’s quite tender to touch or open my mouth wide so I believe that is a good sign. Will have to remind myself of that when I’m tempted to poke at it!

@MrsWhites That sounds like what it is. I think we forget in our anxiety that lymph nodes swell. That's what they do, that's what they are there for, to fight infection. Sometimes we don't even know we have it. That's our bodies doing their jobs but for us HA sufferers it's another thing.

I have a good feeling for us all today.

@Goolies Likewise. Current favourites are stage 4 (something) Lymph node.

Ovarian cancer/m- possible delayed ovulation.

And breast, always breast!

Also, I find if I have a happy thought or a moment where I feel good, my brain immediately presents me with HA. 'You may be happy now but have you poked your lymph node recently?'

It's like I'm asking for trouble being happy, and that pathway is burned in my brain.

Sending positive vibes to you all.

@Skyliner001 I think a lot of us have a problem with seeing any happiness as potentially tempting fate. I know I do, my kids will do something lovely or cute and for a minute I’ll just be happy but then I’ll find myself thinking ‘what it that lump is something and I’m ignoring it, I won’t be here to see anymore happy moments like this’! It’s so exhausting and utterly draining!

@Goolies distraction will definitely help. I need to do the same, get dressed and I need to go food shopping then find something to do this afternoon to keep me busy. Got a few jobs to do around the house so hopefully that will keep me out of my own head so to speak!

@Skyliner001 I’m the exact same! As awful as it is you’re all the same it makes me feel better it’s not just me like that! with my mum recently passing away I’m convinced it was like a sign to me but my partner very helpfully said it would be a sign to all your mums family if that was the case but I do panic about having a heart attack now as well! My brain can be really cruel!

I think as sad that I am for all of you that you have the same negative thought pathways, it's actually a really positive thing that we all feel the same.

It might help us to break the cycle of thinking we are having a premonition when we think the way we do after feeling happy.

It's more of a pathway that relates to our health anxiety, and anxiety in general.

And if we feel like this, then there must be an awful lot of other people out there who feel the same…

Really sorry to hear about your mum 😔

@Skyliner001 yep that totally resonates with me!! Almost like we are self punishing for happy a happy moment?!

@MrsWhites yep busy busy busy I’m hoping that helps me sleep better as I will be tired had a very unsettled night last night

I've found my people!!! Just stumbled across this thread and so glad I did. I'm going to take the time to read all the comments on here when I get a chance. I'm currently in the pit of despair due to a weird mark on my boob. It appeared 2 weeks ago. Doctor has seen it, even posted it on here, Reddit and bloody Facebook group with a resounding response of "that's fine" I am ridiculously obsessed. It had nearly gone and yesterday I had a lovely non anxious day but it's slightly pink again this morning so back to huge waves of anxiety and prodding again .

Does anxiety make you have aches and pains? I find the more I worry the more symptoms I have of things which seems remarkably unfair!

Hi all,

Not wrote but having been keeping up.

All was going well , felt great for a few days! Then yesterday evening if hit me.

My panic always manifests as dizziness and heavy head then progresses......felt the dizziness and had to spend the next hour in a darkened room just breathing.....on the plus side knew what it was and didn’t seek medical attention for my imminent death lol.
I’m not myself today.....just trying to get to the end of the day without episode:-(
I hope everyone is ok today xxx

To anyone that takes medication.....I’m so scared to even see gp incase they give me medicine that makes me feel medicated....if that makes sense. Could anyone who is taking medicine share how they felt, did it work, is it a case of being medicated for life? Thank you xxx

@Skyliner001 yes to the various health anxieties that I scroll through! When I’m onto the next one I think the one before was meaningless in comparison!! And I am literally scared to feel happy, I feel like I’m going to be punished for it! It’s such an exhausting way to live, I’m praying that the CBT will help with it

@Jericha welcome! Sorry you’re feeling so anxious. I imagine all the prodding and poking has made it pink again. If doctor has seen it and not concerned then try to put it out if your mind and it will then gave chance to fade and heal.
Anxiety definitely does cause physical symptoms such as aches and pains, I’ve experienced it and also spoke about it in my CBT sessions

I was like that convinced I was poorly and then the anxiety took over in October. I’ve been off work since. Please see your gp and get help. I’m on AD and have been for 8 weeks. Waiting for my new ones to hopefully kick in so I can get some relief bi wake up all the time in a panic. Then I smoke a cig and try to get back to sleep. Think I had 2 hours sleep last night. Anxiety and depression is awful. There’s help out there!! X

Mammy1981 thank you, it’s so nerve wracking and just giving me something else to worry and stress over. I keep saying I will phone go then don’t. I think there’s an element of embarrassment....almost as if if I admit I can’t cope and that I’m not ok people will think less of me......so wrong, but the worry is there. Rationally I know it’s the best thing to do.....
@Lib3rtine I completely agree anxiety does manifest actual symptoms! I don’t think anyone who doesn’t suffer it can truly appreciate the physical effect it also takes! I certainly didn’t until a month ago...