I've barely left my house in almost 3 years

[Florafog]

...and I reckon at least 80% of that time I have spent zoned out in bed. I dread every single day and often wish I just wouldn't wake up (I'm too much of a wimp to kill myself).

I'm exhausted with life. I don't know what to do. I reached out to the doctor a few months ago and was offered ADs but I don't want to take them. I was given an online CBT thing to do but I get frustrated with it because nothing makes sense. I'm not sure what else to do. Is there any point going back to the doctor? I feel like I just want to call it a day because I can't see things ever getting better.

I'm so pissed off today. That's 2 weeks I've been trying to log on to the cCBT and it just freezes. Tried emailing tech support and local provider etc and no one has responded so far!

@SillyOldMummy my garden is a mess and I don't go near it. I kill anything I attempt to grow, I have a house plant in my livingroom that's been dead for a while and have yet to discard.

I can't really think about work just now, I seem to have gone back a few steps from a couple of weeks ago when I felt closer to wanting to get back to work.

I wish there was an easier way to opt out of life than suicide.

Sorry to hear about your IT frustrations @ @Florafog...I hope they responded and resolved it.

It's hard Living with depression. I function and go through the motions of everyday life. I've recently started anti depressants having lived with depression since a teen.

Are you still doing the OU course? I think I should do a course and I'm really going to try this year. Motivation is hard for me. I've recently started exercising at home which I will try and keep up.

If you go on the Samaritans website they also have an email address if that helps in future when you don't get through on the phone.

Do you think there's a reason why you've gone back a few steps about looking for work. I know some days are more challenging then others especially when living with depression.

I’ve just come across this thread and was wondering how you were doing OP? @Florafog