I'm totally alone and see the pointlessness of life.how the fuck do I carry on

[rumred]

I realise I'm In a minority but nevertheless I am human and I'm in a hole and don't want to give in without a fight
I'm 55, parents dead, single child, no kids, family not supportive.I'm fucked aren't I

I have good friends but my closest ones have disappeared for various reasons. A cancer diagnosis last year really showed me who I could depend on. I'm so fucked off with those I had a good bond with. And who didn't step up. I think I'm a good friend. Maybe I'm not.

I'm so lost. I have a lovely partner but it's pretty new so I can't burden her with this angst. She does know I'm struggling.

Please don't comment if you're under 50. I too thought it was straightforward then. I fucking don't now

Hiya @Readr I'm glad that works for you. Must be hard having relatives so far away though.
Hello @Onthedunes I'm sorry you're depressed. It's grim isn't it? When you feel the sun shining again it's so joyous. But before that, just shite.

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow your son sounds like a good lad.
Menopause is such a big deal isn't it? I can't take hrt either. There's other stuff but it's hard. My powers of recall are sadly diminished. And my face seems furrier than I remember

@user1471453601

I'm coming up to 70 and I know this may be my last year's, and I hate that they have to be spent like this. However, I would not have lost the last 20 years for anything.

I've been there to comfort a dear friend when she lost her partner, , I've seen my niece and nephew have their children (though I've not met my last one yet,due to covid), I've had one (possibly last) visit to an island I love.

I've been around to participate in my Mums service when she died.

And I've seen my child grow to be a woman I admire.

You are 50ish. There is plenty for you to experience yet.

I'm sad to be at the end of my experience, but happy to have have it.

❤️

I was feeling pretty useless and invisible recently, then out of the blue an acquaintance rang me for some advice related to my profession. I suddenly felt useful and it really helped me. Does it sound trite for me to say find a way to be useful to people?

@Resistthethoughtpolice it definitely helps being useful /helpful to others. I do it as much as I can. But I'm sure I can do more.
I hope every one has survived the festive season with their nerves intact.
My anxiety has abated and I'm aware I need to get more structure into my life. I've not quite managed it yet.

Well I decided I needed a bit more help to deal with my anxiety so I contacted a counsellor/therapist I've seen before. Spoke with her today over WhatsApp and feel relieved and clearer about what's going on.
At the very least I need to make a concerted effort to keep my self esteem level. I can but try

That sounds like a really good step forward, @rumred. I’m trying to do the same.

@SparklingLime How's it going? I'm working on my self talk. God I can be evil sometimes....