To cut a v. long and painful story short, I am having therapy after a year on AD's (now finished) afer a pretty terrible depressive episode. I now feel well enough to attack my underlying issues, which are basically obsessive negativity caused by my need to be perfect, caused by my mother (doesn't it always come down to the mother) and other aspects of my childhood. I am very self-aware - so much so that I get into terrible cycles of beating myself up because I'm beating myself up because I'm beating myself up because I'm beating myself up because I'm being negative - you get the picture. We both agree that I need to be easier on myself, but breaking the habits of 29 years is difficult.