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Original poster

Is anyone awake?

20 replies

Beapo · 01/10/2020 05:07

Is anyone awake at this ungodly hour? I’ve not got any sleep yet and it’s now past 5am so I’m doubting I’ll fall asleep anytime soon, even after the diazepam. Feeling very low and have no one to talk to, can’t bring myself to wake my partner up

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bloodywhitecat · 01/10/2020 05:11

Me, I have been to sleep though. Insomnia sucks doesn't it.

Missingmylovelyboy · 01/10/2020 05:13

I’m awake. Sorry to hearing you are feeling low. Is anything in particular bothering you? Do you have to work today?

Original poster
Beapo · 01/10/2020 05:13

@bloodywhitecat Yeah it’s a bitch that’s for sure. Thank you for replying. Haven’t had bad mental health for a few years but had a pretty traumatic experience in hospital these past few days due to a miscarriage. It’s just brought everything back but x100 worse

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CherryPavlova · 01/10/2020 05:14

I’ve woken early and can’t get back. Someone is snoring quite loudly and it’s too warm.
What’s keeping you awake?

Original poster
Beapo · 01/10/2020 05:16

@Missingmylovelyboy Thankfully I’m not working this week. Ive had a history of depression and anxiety but going through a traumatic miscarriage in the hospital for a few days has brought everything back, suicidal thoughts in tow. Doc gave me diazepam and I’ve had two tablets so far and I feel no different. Every time I close my eyes I have flashbacks to the agony I was in when I had procedures done and I didn’t have any anesthetic, just feel like it’s never going to go away

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Coffeecak3 · 01/10/2020 05:16

Sorry for your miscarriage. Flowers
Not surprised you can't sleep.

PenOrPencil · 01/10/2020 05:17

I can’t sleep either...

Original poster
Beapo · 01/10/2020 05:18

@CherryPavlova I thought it was down to my partners snoring but he went on the sofa a few hours ago and I still can’t sleep. As I’ve just posted above I’m going through a miscarriage and had quite a traumatic experience in hospital and it’s bringing back all my mental health issues i thought I’d buried in the past

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bloodywhitecat · 01/10/2020 05:18

Could you speak to your GP today @Beapo?

Original poster
Beapo · 01/10/2020 05:19

So glad I’m not the only one who can’t sleep, obviously I wish we could all sleep but there is comfort knowing I’m not the only one

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PenOrPencil · 01/10/2020 05:19

Oh no, Beapo, that sounds horrific. Please wake up your partner, I am sure they would want to help you.

Howcanwehelp · 01/10/2020 05:20

Hi I'm here, can you give up on sleep and put something you love on the TV? Something familiar? Earlier this year I had an episode where I didn't sleep for over 24 hours, I kept seeing the issue when I shut my eyes. I put on some buffy and slept in bits while watching it.

Original poster
Beapo · 01/10/2020 05:21

@bloodywhitecat It took me all day yesterday to pluck up the courage to ring my gp and told them I’m having suicidal thoughts, she prescribed me diazepam and just said to see how I get on

@PenOrPencil Yeah I probably should I’m just worried he doesn’t get enough sleep as he’s going to try going into work for the first time today since we found out we lost our baby :(

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Original poster
Beapo · 01/10/2020 05:24

@Howcanwehelp I’ve not been able to watch tele or go on my computer since I got back, I’ve just got a constant headache and the lights from it make me feel nauseous. I can just about get away with using my phone without it making me feel too sick but might have to put it down soon and I’m scared I’ll feel more alone :(

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Howcanwehelp · 01/10/2020 05:29

@beapo sorry to hear that, any chance an audio book would help? On the bbc sounds app there are some free ones, I'm making my way through persuasion, that helps me sleep.

CherryPavlova · 01/10/2020 05:32

I think you probably do need to wake your partner now and talk to them. We can’t see how distressed you are in real life. You sound like you’re not ready to be on your own with your sadness yet? Is there someone else who can be with you when your partner goes to work?

Original poster
Beapo · 01/10/2020 05:33

@Howcanwehelp definitely worth a go. I’ll tip toe around the flat to see if I can find some headphones, don’t wanna wake anyone up 😱

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Original poster
Beapo · 01/10/2020 05:34

@CherryPavlova My mum is coming round tomorrow to make sure I’m ok, so I won’t be physically alone. It’s all worse during night time which is frustrating

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CherryPavlova · 01/10/2020 05:36

Are you in a place where you can think about a way to create a memory of your baby? Go out later to buy a rose to plant maybe or write down your thoughts from the moment you conceived in a special journal that can be put safely away?
Part of what you’re feeling is grief. That takes time.

Original poster
Beapo · 01/10/2020 05:36

I think I’m getting a migraine now so going to have to dig out my meds for em and put my phone down and just stare at the ceiling for a bit and hope it goes away. Thank you for the replies everyone I really appreciate it ❤️

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