can't motivate myself to do anything - please give me a nudge

[monkeyonthetable]

I wake up every morning and have zero motivation for anything. There are loads of things I'd like to do or could do but I seem to have an invisible block stopping me from actually doing any of them. I found it hard enough this morning to just have a bath and get dressed. Weirdly, the stuff I most want to do is even harder to get motivated about.

I am managing a walk most days, a bit of cooking, shared with DH and the bare minimum housework. But even the house seems so perpetually grubby from having everyone home all the time, and I don't have energy to clean, only to see it undone within 24 hours.

I feel like I need someone to tell me: do this now. I just can't find the ignition myself.

Anyone feel the same? Or have advice? or fancying telling me what to get started on? I know it seems silly but it is really dragging me down and making me feel deeply self-critical. Slippery slope.

Well done toffee. I have found it really helpful too. I’ve also done my jobs. Listed 4 things on freecycle... and one has already been collected! Really pleased that it will have a new life with someone else and my pile of doom is reduced to a small mound!

Can I join in please? Hoping this might help.
I have been feeling so overwhelmed for weeks but in the last week Iv gone on a downward spiral. Absolutely no motivation for anything and crying everyday. Lockdown is really taking its toll now I guess.
I feel so so guilty though as I have it ‘easy’ compared to most people at the moment so I shouldn’t be feeling this way.

After a chat with a friend this morning she managed to persuade me to have something to eat and to go a run. Iv done both.

@runningpink welcome. You feel what you feel - you won't get judged here. Great that you managed a run and some food.

@toffeeghirl - glad it's helping

@ejecoms - I love that feeling of the house emptying of unwanted stuff. Especially when people are so happy to make use of it all.

Thank you monkey
Need to get through a zoom thing this evening that I would rather not be doing but don’t want to let people down. If I manage that can be three wee achievements for today.

Tomorrow I’m thinking

• go a long run

-fold and put away the washing which has been hanging since Wednesday -Put a load of washing on -Do some work. Even if it’s just for an hour

How do people manage to do exercise? I was pretty good for the first three weeks, then my mood plummeted and anxiety levels rose - no reason. I just can’t seem to do it.

@Valenciaoranges I use a few tricks to get myself to exercise. I try to get it done early in the day. Sometimes I’ll pretend to myself that I just need to put my running gear on, I just need to step outside the door - I break it into easy tiny steps so don’t have an excuse for not doing that step. Sometimes I drop the kids at school wearing my running kit and go straight for a run. Also I think committing to it either by telling someone IRL or us that you are doing it and then telling us know you have done it helps. Also arranging to do it with someone else - then you can’t get out of it! I also tell myself that it is good for my mental health.

Welcome @runningpink. Did you get your tasks done? I hope you included something that’s fun/a treat or reward.

Was feeling a bit down yesterday but actually it turned out better than I thought. Managed to get DCs off the screens and we went out on their bikes. DD can’t ride yet so lots of holding and running for me so I ache all over now. And we all finished on the screens and had tea together at 6.

My three for today are clear out 3 cupboards in the kitchen (take everything out, wipe the cupboard, sort stuff, put it back). Once I’ve done that I’ll have a cup of tea and read a new book I’ve got on mid-century modernism (I’ve decided I need an interest to stop me surfing aimlessly)

Have a good day all!

Could I join, please? This whole year has just been a downward spiral hell for me. I'm at a steadier place at the moment than I was a few months ago, when anything like this would have seemed completely overwhelming. Now I could really do with tiny, daily goals and some planning.

My three goals for today would be:

• Changing and washing the sheets.
• Cleaning the bathroom.
• Spending time reading. I struggle with my focus a lot, so reading is hard. I feel I need to actively work on my focus a bit.

A non-activity goal as a bonus:

• Taking a REST day from ALL exercise. I've been doing a lot, because I try to compensate for food. I did too much yesterday, and my leg is sore.

I hope you all have a good day today.

@Valenciaoranges
I normally get up and head out first thing for a run, I know it’s the one thing that stops me from sinking completely. But these past few days it has been a complete battle to even get out of bed let alone exercise.
I’m currently taking part in a team virtual running event so that’s been what’s got me dragging myself out so I don’t let the others down.

So perhaps find a virtual event or set a goal with us on here as a wee incentive?

@ejecoms I got the three things done yesterday including the zoom thing. I was anxious the whole time but I done it.
That’s a good point about doing something fun. I will try and tick that box today.

Good luck with your jobs today.

Welcome @InsaneProbably. And good luck with today’s tasks

Does anyone have any ideas or tips for eating when you just don’t want to? Some easy foods with a bit or nutrition.
I’m normally ok, not always the healthiest but I eat enough.
But Iv hardly eaten since Thursday, got no appetite. Don’t even fancy junk food. But the lack of food means I am struggling to exercise with very little energy.

Hi all!

running - sorry to hear you have no appetite. Is there a particular reason for that? You’re right, if you’re not eating, you won’t have the energy to exercise (or do anything really). If you’re not eating, I would say don’t worry about healthy calories, just make sure you get some calories in. Well done for doing the zoom talk! It’s great that you managed to do something you find challenging. You must have felt great afterwards. Did you find a fun thing/treat to do?

Welcome insane - did you get your 3 things done?

I had a good day today. DD and I went out again to try to teach her to ride her bike. Did my jobs. The kitchen is starting to look much better but I am realising now that it probably needs repainting and some other work. I need to think about what I want. I also made tortillas which DS enjoyed. Now the DCs are watching old videos of live streams Minecraft on YouTube and I am having a cup of tea!

@runningpink - Thanks. DH has Huel when he doesn't feel like eating. He's one of those people who just randomly otherwise forgets to eat, if nothing reminds him, and often just doesn't feel like it. I'm on a "eat something every three hours whether you feel like it or not" schedule myself at the moment, by my therapist, but that's because I'm trying to get past an eating disorder relapse. Just a few nuts and a piece of fruit is better than nothing.

@ejecoms Thanks. Glad to hear you had a good day!

I've got 2/3 of mine done so far. I'm having a very zombie day (still probably withdrawals from meds, including not sleeping enough), and while I've managed to potter around and do all the housework I meant to do, the brain fog hasn't really lifted enough for reading. I'll try my best, even if it's just a few paragraphs, when I go upstairs later. I did successfully avoid all forms of exercise, though!

Welcome @InsaneProbably. Please join us.

@runningpink - sorry your appetite is low. Get hold of a good multivitamin - you'll need the B-vit complex especially as B6 deficiency (and others I think) is often a factor in low mood.

Try eating food that is really high in calories and nutrition for not many bites. Nut, seed and honey energy bars are good. Cheese and crackers are quick and easy, so are crackers with peanut butter if you like it. Bananas are good, so are avocados if you like either of those.

Or try comfort food - soup or ice cream - whatever food you associate with feeling cared for.

For those like myself who have a low appetite (Don't know why, I ain't losing weight at all!) I found full fat Greek yogurt with blended fruit keeps me going for ages. As does home made, or bought soup. Poached eggs too.

Not everyone is full of desire to eat lots for one reason or another, so just have to get the calories in however you can.

My biggest nightmare is a four course dinner. I think I'd be done after the starter. Anyone similar?

BTW I've had tests and nothing showed up, and am ok BMI wise too.

Just eat to live now, not the other way around. I envy those tucking in to big portions of this or that, I look at them and wonder why I cannot do that now. There is no reason, it's just one of those things. And I do not have an ED.

I felt guilty after the zoom chat! It was to celebrate an occasion for my best friend and I didn’t drink or get dressed up and everyone else had. I couldn’t drink as knew that was a bad choice with my anxiety being so high. And I didn’t see the point in dressing up when no one could really see much of me. But I feel like Iv really let my friend down who the event was for.
It did feel good to have managed to take part though so taking that as a win.

I don’t usually have an issue with eating. But When I get really anxious or feel especially low I either eat loads of junk food or have no appetite at all.

I think eating at the moment just feels like too much energy to do and I just don’t fancy anything at all. I have managed more food today than in previous days.
Thanks for the replies. I will try and just eat what I can when I can and not put pressure on myself. And I will look into vitamins as well, that’s a good idea.

eje your dd will be riding her bike in no time at this rate! Well done!

insane I think reading is a good idea. I used to love reading but struggle with the concentration. I might try and make that part of my plan as well.

Well done on completing your housework. It feels good when a big task like that is complete.

@runningpink I've had no appetite for months. It's only starting to creep back now. I was just about managing a small piece of fruit and a few glasses of water a day.
I bought a couple of boxes of complan in different flavours and forced them down me (pharmacy had none but got them on amazon.) I've also started eating a single weetabix with milk a couple of times a day (haven't eaten that in 40 years!)

I've hit a big slump the past few days. I now recognise that my good day on Friday where I achieved a load of stuff was powered by a hypermanic type mood as I didn't sleep well on Friday night and have slept full days on Saturday and Sunday. I didn't wake up proper till after 4pm and was back to sleep by 5pm.

I haven't eaten, washed, barely drinking in fact the only things I have done is for the kittens, feed, water, scoop trays, cuddle and play. I went to sleep this evening with them jumping across my legs. I've considered doing something bad/silly so am going to contact mental health team tomorrow, My head is not a nice place at the moment. I know what has triggered this down and I can't do anything about it. I'm wrapped up in my blanket with kittens sleeping on my bell.

Morning all. Hope you had a good day yesterday. I HAVE to make a mask now or they won’t let me into work! Other two jobs a clearing out two cupboards/drawers.

frogs hope you manage to speak to your mental health team today and they are helpful

@monkeyonthetable Thanks!

@NotanotherboxofFrogs I'm sorry you're struggling so much right now. I hope you managed to get some rest last night, and the MH team are helpful today.

@runningpink I bet what matters is that you were there to celebrate her, not what you wore or whether you had a drink. Well done managing it!

As to the reading, I used to find audio books helpful in the past, when I couldn't quite concentrate of reading, but still wanted to get through books. Now I'm suddenly finding those hard, too. I'll have it on, I'm trying to listen, I'll even like the book, but my attention constantly wanders off, and I miss what's being said. What I'm reading now is factual, but nothing too involved, and the book has short chapters that are their own independent pieces, really. I managed not one but two chapters in bed last night - very pleased!

I've not slept very much, and feel a bit like I'm running on fidgety anxiety energy. My plans for today:

• Go for a walk, somewhere with trees and birds.
• Cook a curry.
• Get in touch with friends. Just a quick message if nothing else. I've been terrible at keeping in touch this whole year. I just want to withdraw from everyone these days. They're not having the best time, either, so the least I can do is occasionally initiate a "how are you doing" conversation.

Morning everyone especially new people. K am feeling slightly better today for having got through PMS hell.

Today's goals
Send birthday card
Do one hour of coursework
Put away my clean washing!

hope Monday is kind to you.

Hi. Can I join? Hopefully it'll give me a desperately needed kick up the bum!

I just can't seem to do anything except the bare minimum each day.

Hi. I felt anxious & couldn't stop shaking on Saturday so tried one of the Lorazepam that I was prescribed & it worked really well.
I will save the rest for when I'm due back off sick.

I put off having a shower for a couple of days (embarrassing) but finally had a nice shower late last night.
My plan is to exercise in the day to build up my stamina for when I go back to work, then shower at night. Will see if it works...
I did go for a long walk yesterday & felt very shaky after.

May I join please?

I relate to so much that’s been written here. I’m suffering low level depression (which sometimes tips over to a higher level) which is having a terrible impact on my motivation to get stuff done. I don’t think this relates much to Lockdown. I had to give up work a couple of years ago to care for DH, who has Parkinson’s and Lockdown life isn’t significantly different to our normal life in the way it is for so many others. I just feel overwhelmed by everything.

There are so many things I want to do but seem to do nothing other than spending too much time online (I think I spend too much time on mumsnet for the female company though it’s less like chatting to friends and more like sitting quietly in the corner watching friends chatting as I rarely actually post anything) in between doing stuff to help DH and the absolute bare minimum housework.

I hate being like this.

I have friends I want to write to (including one very good ‘pen pal’ I met through mumsnet and now worry I may have lost touch with), art and craft projects I’d love to do, paint I’ve bought to decorate with, books I desperately want to read and no less than four online courses I signed up to weeks ago and haven’t even touched.

Every single night I go to bed so keen to crack on with stuff the next day and then the next day...nothing.

Could really do with the moral support to get stuff done and the chance to just talk to others who will understand.

Still here, mh team were absolutely hopeless.

Tomorrow is another day.