Would children be removed?

[user1000000000000000001]

If I'm a lone parent and have self harmed would my children be removed?

Are you ok? Do you need help?

I don't have an answer for your question sorry but if you need help please don't avoid it due to worrying

I wouldn't have thought so; it's a coping mechanism. I'm not a lone parent but my self harm has never been flagged as a risk and I'm the primary caregiver for our baby. I hope you're okay

The GP and our family worker know I'm low but not quite this low. Not major self harm but it's been a few years since and I'm worried

no, most social workers are reasonable. The most important thing is that you are getting help. You don't have to be perfect.

It's highly unlikely. There is teeny, tiny possibility they may go into temporary care while you get well but this a last resort and all other options (family, friends, outpatient support for yourself etc) would be fully explored first.

Your children need you to be healthy and your GP can help with that. They would not remove children for a broken leg unless absolutely necessary. Broken hormones are treated no differently these days to broken legs. Please get the support you need, OP. You will not be judged nor punished nor will your ability to parent be called into question due to a medical condition.

Seeking help is seen as a good thing.

From what you have said ; no. Children will be kept with parent who loves them if at all possible. Be honest with people who want to help you . I'm so sorry that
Life is difficult .

I'm sorry, OP. No one can answer based on the information you've given, also because the decisions made as to whether to act are also judgement calls, there isn't a one size fits all rule book.

FWIW though, I'm self-harming again after a very long gap. My therapist knows, I've been completely open about it. I've got young DC and there's been no suggestion of a safeguarding referral because she knows I'm doing it "safely". However, if she thought there was a chance that I'd either accidentally or deliberately do something dangerous then it'd be different.

I sort of wish they were tbh. Awful mum

oh OP, what makes you say this?

When I was at my lowest last year, fully intending to end my life, planned to minute detail. The one thing that stopped me was the knowledge that no matter how ill I was or how poor a parent i may have been at times, my kids would always blame themselves for my actions. Think that they weren't enough.

SS knew that I was going through this, they helped me until I was able to help myself.

Please get help sorted.

Hi user1000000000000000001,

We’re so sorry to hear you're struggling right now. We wanted to share Mind's information with you - their webpage helping yourself now has practical tips on what you can do when you feel like this and where to get urgent help.

Samaritans are there for you too, by emailing [email protected] or calling 116 123, any time. You can also see the resources in our Mental Health webguide here.

We also wanted to share a link with Mind's information on how to cope as a parent with a mental health problem. It's an online booklet for anyone who is a parent living with a mental health problem, with suggestions on what you can do to help yourself and your children. It also explains what support is available and includes information for friends and family. Please do take a look.

Take care, OP.

@chickenyhead because I always swore they wouldn't suffer because of me and they do. I have it fully planned too, but there's no way I could carry it out because of the kids.

I get it OP, totally.

And sometimes the involvement of SS can make it feel worse, meetings of professionals can struggle to understand MH issues.

But, nobody in this world is more important to your children than you, warts and all. All parents damage their kids in some way, as we are all unique individuals. You are enough.

At my worst, I had to make adjustments to my expectations and find good enough alternatives. Try not to be so hard on yourself. Talk to someone.

Thank you. Spoke to the GP this morning. They have no intent to refer to social services. They are limited in what they can offer right now but increasing meds and a few other bits 😭

@user1000000000000000001 I hope you are doing alright. I highly recommend using the helpline at your disposal or the texting services to speak to people when you are feeling low. It's the closest you will get to counselling at the minute I would imagine

Yes the GP recommended shout which has been helpful.

In the end the GP called back in now under Cmht and the crisis service. CMHT are seeing me next week. Very nervous!

It will be good. Please try not to get too anxious. Seeking help is always a positive.

You can and will get through this and life will be better on the other side.

Don't be nervous. There is support out there, and they will also support your children. Be kind to yourself, you've made the first steps.

Hi Op- you are absolutely showing that you are doing the best thing for you and your DC- you are great! You have recognised you are in a difficult place at the moment and you have taken the right steps! It's easy for me to sit and say 'dont be nervous' but of course you will be. Be proud of yourself for doing this. Massive un-mumsnetty hug!

I've got a form from the acute CMHT service wanting consent to share information and details of all professionals involved. I hate the idea of being discussed or that they are going to discuss between them if I'm a fit parent or that the children are at risk.

If I say yes would they then not to have to ask me first from now on? I just want to know about these conversations

IME they'll chat amongst themselves anyway whether you sign the form or not. Certainly I've never signed anything but I know my HV has called the MH team to discuss me without letting me know first that she's going to.

Might just be my experience but I've found that even with the best of intentions, once you're under the care of these services then your confidentiality is very much a second thought at best.

However, even knowing this I'm still glad I've accessed the services and as time goes on I mind less about the conversations. I am generally told in retrospect that X and Y people have spoken and discussed something or other.

The fact that you recognise that you need help and are asking for it is really good. If there are concerns about how safe a child is then professionals will talk to each other.

I know it will be harder in lockdown but do keep contact with services and talk on MN. You are not alone in struggling generally or at the moment.

@Fortheloveofscience oh ok, thank you. I just hate that the whole school are going to know and then start treating me like I'm a risk.

I know there is zero risk to the kids and if anything I'm a better mum to them right now because I'm so anxious about them deciding I'm not so I'm trying to be on it :(

I've had a dosage increase too which is knocking me for 6 this weekend :(

they will hold a MAREK meeting to assess what level of intervention is needed. It is to make sure that you have the right support around you and sets the pathway should matters deteriorate.

The schools will not think of you as a bad parent. They will know that your children are doing ok, even help if they can.

The meeting doesn't automatically mean that you will have SS. it just coordinates help.