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Original poster

how much longer can this go on........cos I know I can't

96 replies

Titania · 07/10/2004 08:03

I just can't see how things are going to get any better.....this housing thing has tipped me over the edge.

I can't do anything....I can't sleep, and I haven't eaten for 4 days...I am at a total loss....I don't want to go out....I don't want to do anything....I can't face going out....wish I didn't have to take ds to school....just want to curl up on the sofa and do nothing.

DH came with me to the doctors yesterday....then left me in a right state to go back to work. I suppose he was pushing his luck asking for more time off as it was. The last thing we need is for him not to have a job.

I tried ringing some helpines but they couldn't do much. Most said to go back to my doctor and to ask to be referred but if she had wanted to do that then she would have done it yesterday. I didn't get any relief talking about things....in fact, I think it got me into more of a state repeating myself all the time.

I don't think I have stopped crying for 24 hours now....

DS2 has been up all night (well since 12.25 anyway) and has now got a temperature.

I have started keeping a diary but TBH I'm not getting much relief from that at the moment (thanks for the idea Essbee)

I've got a horrible fog over my head, and an aching groan in the pit of my stomach. I constantly feel sick and dread having to do anything.

I can't keep going like this.......

OP posts:
albert · 07/10/2004 09:14

Oh Titania, you poor thing. I'm sorry I don't know the background to your story and I have no constructive comments whatsoever other than to say that I'm sure many of us MNers are here to help in any way we can. Hang in there, once everyone is up and about I'll bet some wise MNer can give you some good advice. Please try and have something to eat though or at least somthing a bit nourising to drink, milk, soup?! It will give you a bit of strength and may help your groaning stomach. Where is DS now? Please look after yourself so that you can look after him too.
Sorry I feel completly useless but just want you to know that I am thinking of you and sending hugs.

MTS · 07/10/2004 09:18

got DS on my knee then dashing out so can't do a "proper" reply so sorry if this is dead brief.

first of all - go back to the doctors and say what the helplines have said. ask to be referred to the community mental health team - Community Psychiatric Nurses can do counselling, and that would be the appropriate referral point for seeing a psychologist anyway

If your GP is useless, go to A & E explain how bad you are feeling and ask to see the on duty psychiatrist

secondly -start the ADs if u havent already

could u see a different gp in your practice? would u feel better seeing a male GP if someone was with you? if dh cant do that i could do that next week

if you remember essbee's threads - it's a horrible place to be where you are at the moment, but you can come out of it - unfortunately it won't be quick or easy, but you can.
catch u later. also remember - feeling absolutely helpless is a symptom of depression - its not because life is hopeless.

take care
I'll be around later

MTS · 07/10/2004 09:18

could you try a piece of cheese/crackers/anything to give yourself a bit more energy/blood sugar

or even go and get some meal replacement bars?

LOZZYLOOLOO · 07/10/2004 09:20

Likewise, please look after yourself and please have something to eat.

Big {{{hugs}}}

teadrinker · 07/10/2004 09:21

Titania

You can contact me if you want to talk (or cry or anything). Email and I'll give you my number.

I've been there.

spacemonkey · 07/10/2004 09:40

You have my sympathy titania, I'm there too at the moment. What did your doctor say/do? I was in such a state on monday I couldn't get through the door of my doctor's surgery - my mum rang them and a CPN and doctor came to visit me at home. They gave me valium and upped my dose of anti-depressants. I know pills aren't the answer, but the valium gave me some blessed relief from the constant anxiety and tears and allowed me to sleep properly. GP is also referring me for counselling now and they are even giving me a gym prescription. So there is help out there for you titania, if you can't face talking to your GP get your dh to ring up for you and perhaps they can send someone round like they did for me? Keep posting XXX

Original poster
Titania · 07/10/2004 13:24

now dd has got a temperature as well...........

OP posts:
Lonelymum · 07/10/2004 13:34

Give them Calpol Titania. Maybe you have the bug too which is making you feel so bad. Go back to the doctors if you didn't get what you wanted the first time. Perhaps you could take the kids as an excuse and then she might realise how on top of you things have become.

golds · 07/10/2004 13:40

Hi, I didn't know you were feeling this way, I am so sorry you are, I will e-mail you now with my number if you want to talk, don't carry on like this, ring your doctor and ask for help.

I'm really sorry, I don't know what to say, but I am a good listener, I'm here if you want to talk.

Hugs S xx

nutcracker · 07/10/2004 13:41

Tiatnia you are me 4mths ago. Honestly, i was so stressed by the whole housing thing that I felt ill all the time and Dp had to have loads of time off work as i just used to crumble every now and then and he wouldn't leave me alone.

Are you being treated for depression ?? Go back to your g.p and ask to be reffered to a CPN. Not only will it help you, it will also help your housing case as they can write stating that your current property is maing you ill.

I know it is hard Titania and i feel so helpless on your behalf, I really wish i could tell you something positive on the housing front.
Feel free to CAT me whenever you like, even if it's just to moan and moan and moan, i don't mind.

I know this is probably something you have already considered but what about private renting ?? It wasn't an option for us as we couldn't afford the rents around here, but if we could of then i would have.

nutcracker · 07/10/2004 13:43

Feel so angry for you

Honestly it makes me so upset to think of anyone feeling the way i did mainly because of housing.

Please please please let me know if i can do anything at all to help you in any way.

Original poster
Titania · 07/10/2004 13:45

nutty we are privatley renting now.....however we can't afford a 3 bed houe round here....they are at least £500pcm, which we cannot afford.....

OP posts:
nutcracker · 07/10/2004 13:46

Oh sorry didn't realise that

I know i've asked you this before but are you on lists for H/A's ???? I can't remember what you said.

tammybear · 07/10/2004 13:49

titania, i wish i could say something to make you feel better. have you looked to see if you can be entitled to housing benefit? i dont know how much you and dh are earning, but you could have a look into it (just an idea). I think maybe going back to your doctor could help, or speaking to your health visitor. Mine's very useful and is organising help for me as she had spoken to my doctor from when I went when I was feeling low. Sending you lots of hugs. xxx (hope your children feel better soon)

Original poster
Titania · 07/10/2004 13:49

yeah we have asked to be considered for housing on H/A through the council.

OP posts:
agy · 07/10/2004 15:42

Titania, I don't think you can possibly do anything about any of this, until you have been taking the ADs the doctor gave you for 2 - 3 weeks. In the meantime, try and shelve it all. Treat yourself, during the day like a bit of an invalid - which in effect, you are. If you feel like lying in front of the telly - do so. Just take and collect ds to and from school and feed him and you (oh, and I suppose DH!), but keep everything else to a minimum. And if poss give yourself some little treats - jam doughnuts are good. Try and make yourself eat, but don't make yourself do anything else you don't want to do. Just wait for the ADs to kick in then start tackling things again.

Chinchilla · 07/10/2004 20:23

Titania - So sorry you feel so bad.

spacemonkey · 07/10/2004 23:40

That's really good advice from agy. Lower your expectations of yourself for now, it really is an illness. Today all I managed to do was pay my rent and hang out one load of washing and that was enough and I felt that at least I'd done SOMETHING, even if it wasn't much. Whereas before I would have been berating myself for being so useless. You must try and go easy on yourself, it really does help.

marthamoo · 07/10/2004 23:52

Having been there myself I know there's nothing I can say that will make it better (though how I wish I had a magic wand to wave - no-one should have to feel this way). Just try and be kind to yourselves (Titania and my pal the monkey) and weather it..just keep going and it will get better.

golds · 08/10/2004 10:11

How are things today ?

Original poster
Titania · 08/10/2004 10:37

ds2 has been up most of the night....him and dd have had a fever so I am pretty exhausted today.

I took my first AD last night....made me feel a bit sick.

I have managed to get most of my housework done this morning.

ds2 is really grotty now and continually crying so getting to me a bit now. dd seems much better though still off her food a bit.

Feel a bit lost now..not sure what to do with myself today....am very tired.

OP posts:
golds · 08/10/2004 10:42

then do nothing for the rest of the day, sounds like youve done more than me this morning already. Curl up with the kids infront of the TV all day, at least you don't have to go out until 3pm.

Sorry the AD are making you feel sick, they probably will until they are in your system.

Take care S x

spacemonkey · 08/10/2004 11:24

You've done a lot more than me today titania, just rest as much as possible and keep taking the ADs. I don't want to hijack your thread with my woes, so I won't blither on about me, but just want you to know you're not alone x

Original poster
Titania · 08/10/2004 11:56

feel free SM.......whats up hon?

OP posts:
Original poster
Titania · 08/10/2004 13:32

aw man.....these ADs are making me feel really sick....

OP posts: