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Mental health

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Original poster

how much longer can this go on........cos I know I can't

96 replies

Titania · 07/10/2004 08:03

I just can't see how things are going to get any better.....this housing thing has tipped me over the edge.

I can't do anything....I can't sleep, and I haven't eaten for 4 days...I am at a total loss....I don't want to go out....I don't want to do anything....I can't face going out....wish I didn't have to take ds to school....just want to curl up on the sofa and do nothing.

DH came with me to the doctors yesterday....then left me in a right state to go back to work. I suppose he was pushing his luck asking for more time off as it was. The last thing we need is for him not to have a job.

I tried ringing some helpines but they couldn't do much. Most said to go back to my doctor and to ask to be referred but if she had wanted to do that then she would have done it yesterday. I didn't get any relief talking about things....in fact, I think it got me into more of a state repeating myself all the time.

I don't think I have stopped crying for 24 hours now....

DS2 has been up all night (well since 12.25 anyway) and has now got a temperature.

I have started keeping a diary but TBH I'm not getting much relief from that at the moment (thanks for the idea Essbee)

I've got a horrible fog over my head, and an aching groan in the pit of my stomach. I constantly feel sick and dread having to do anything.

I can't keep going like this.......

OP posts:

newstart · 13/10/2004 10:34

bump

MummyToSteven · 13/10/2004 10:35

Hi. I've got Titania on MSN atm. She hadn't checked her phone messages, so hadn't heard your message yet Newstart. She's still feeling a bit headachey this morning, and wants to try and get as much rest as she can this morning, so I won't be going over to see her (me and a 7 month baby won't exactly enhanced the quiet factor!)

golds · 13/10/2004 10:38

Thanks - I was worried.

spacemonkey · 13/10/2004 11:16

phew

newstart · 13/10/2004 11:21

MummyToSteven - Thanks for that.

Titania - I won't ring again incase I disturb you when you're resting. As I said before, if you want me, you know where I am. ns

Original poster

Titania · 13/10/2004 11:37

Hello.

Sorry for being a pain and worrying you. I've just felt so rough.

Newstart just heard your messages. I don't usually check my answerphone cos nobody usually rings me.

Spacemonkey I got your e-mail. Thank you

MummyToSteven, thank you for the offer. I will meet up with you soon though.

I just feel empty inside atm......

OP posts:

spacemonkey · 13/10/2004 11:38

Titania, really you must get some help on this. Will you consider going to your GP?

marthamoo · 13/10/2004 12:37

Titania, you're not a pain. You need some help though. It doesn't have to be like this - you deserve better. I wish you would ring your GP - she shouldn't have just let you go like that. Is there another one at the practice who might be more on the ball about depression? I don't know how you can do it when you feel so low but you may have to push for a referral.
Please take care of yourself - I really do feel for you, I remember what it's like to feel the way you do.

Original poster

Titania · 13/10/2004 15:53

Havent rung the doctor. Not much point. She will only say I have got to wait for the ADs to kick in. I could sleep for a week.....

OP posts:

newstart · 14/10/2004 09:34

Titania - How are you today? Thinking of you. ns

Original poster

Titania · 15/10/2004 09:16

Im very tired today. DH wants to take me out to the cinema tonight. Im not sure I really want to go. He has given me some money and told me to go and treat myself to a new outfit. Even that doesnt seem incentive enough......what the bloody hells wrong with me?!

OP posts:

Original poster

Titania · 15/10/2004 09:17

thats just made me sound really ungrateful hasnt it??? i didnt mean it like that,..........grrr......Im not thinking straight...

OP posts:

MummyToSteven · 15/10/2004 09:19

its not whats wrong with you, its whats wrong with the way your family has treated you in the past - that you don't believe you are a great person, and don't believe you deserve anything just for yourself.

Original poster

Titania · 15/10/2004 10:04

I'm not a great person though.....I dont feel as though I deserve anything. I dont know what to do cos DH will be upset if I dont buy anything but I really dont want to go out. DH says I am the weirdest woman he has ever known....cos he has to FORCE me to spend money!

Just going to have a sort through my wardrobe I think.........

OP posts:

Original poster

Titania · 15/10/2004 11:11

ds is grouchy now....he is really getting to me....If I don't occupy him or stay near him, he screams at me. He is 8 months old, so I think he is getting to the 'clingy' stage. I just want to go to sleep and I can't. Have managed to get all my housework done which is an achievement at least. I am so nearly texting DH saying I don't want to go out tonight.......

OP posts:

Depressedmum32 · 16/10/2004 16:18

I just wanted to say hello and to let you know I'm thinking of you. You might have seen my thread, so I know what you are going through. However you seem to have made great progress and I really hope you didn't cancel your night out as I think it would do you the world of good.Take care.

tammybear · 16/10/2004 16:56

hi titania, thought id see how u r 2day xxx

Original poster

Titania · 19/10/2004 09:27

ds2 finally cut a tooth 2 days ago so that explains the grouchy mood on his behalf.

I am still feeling pretty hopeless.......I don't know why......thought the ADs would have had more of an effect by now.

dd has finally hit the 'threenagers'......god help me......she just cries and moans about everything that doesn't involve getting her own way....more so when ds1 is at home teasing the life out of her.

Yet still I'm already longing for another baby....one I know we will probably never have....

SOB

OP posts:

Original poster

Titania · 19/10/2004 10:05

im just so tired lately as well.....I can't seem to get enough sleep.....By 8.30 I am falling asleep on the sofa and then have trouble waking up in the mornings.....how come??

OP posts:

spacemonkey · 19/10/2004 10:06

It might be the ADs titania because I am the same. Yesterday I went back to bed after taking ds to school in the morning and slept until 1pm, then went to bed at about 11pm and still had trouble dragging myself out of bed at 8.15am this morning.

MummyToSteven · 19/10/2004 10:26

might just be your body catching up on missed sleep - i think you've had a lot of sleepless nights recently. i don't think you would necessarily notice the ADs working at this stage - I know with me it was a far more gradual thing, so it was only a couple of months down the line that I could look back and say - blimey - I do feel better. The first few weeks I was mostly recently on ADs it was more a case of me having few really, really, really bad days. I would say give it at least 4 weeks before you expect to see any improvement.

re:more babies. never say never. i know it feels like everything's going to last forever; the housing problems, being skint, but a few years down the line fingers crossed everything will be much better. you might have to put off no 4 for a while, until you've had a chance to get a bit of money together, maybe by starting work once ds2 is in nursery, but a bit of a breather might do your body good anyway.

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