I've been disabled for a while and haven't worked since before I was diagnosed but am starting to slowly feel stable enough to start looking at maybe working.
Gist is I was diagnosed with BPD in 2018. I don't feel like this diagnosis fits and think my problems are more related to complex trauma after a very abusive childhood but either way, I struggle with emotional decisions, self harmed until three years ago and find money management hard.
In 2019 I had my son with my partner of 3 years. My son is my world and improved my mental health as he was my reason to get help and this past year has been the happiest of my life with my little boy.
But it's also been a very dramatic year. My now ex partner became abusive and physically abused me and DS. He was arrested and charged, then once that was over I got an injunction against him as he wouldn't leave me alone and threatened me regularly, then ex had a major accident at work (I know because his sister told me) and is in hospital and will be for a long time. He's also never paid maintenance since I kicked him out after he hurt DS and has been awful to me since.
DS and I are very happy and calm and he seems much happier since his dad left our home. I am feeling stable and have for a good two years but am so scared of it all unraveling, especially with everything going on at the moment. DS will start nursery in Feb 2021 (he gets the free hours from two) and I'm thinking maybe, maybe I could find some part time work. But I just don't know if I'll cope and I don't want to risk losing all my income plus having a mental breakdown with DS to look after.
Does anyone have any pearls of wisdom for me? I'm just hoping for anyone else's stories of working after severe mental health issues. I've not worked in a very long time and have no proper qualifications so I'm probably not very employable!