Severe anxiety and panic. Help.

[AllAboutTheGin]

I came off sertraline 5 ish months ago. Was on it for pnd/pna for 2 years and 2 more 2 year stints between each of 3 kids.
Since coming off I have had severe anxiety and panic attacks for an intense period of a week befor and during my period. So I was pretty sure it’s hormonal.
This month, I have been trapped in 3 days of sheer terror, middle of the night panic attacks, utter, deep fear constantly and I am totally desperate.
Three nights ago I was woken by the worst panic attack ever. Palpitations etc and lasted 6 hours before I could sleep, then lingering achy chest and churning stomach/butterflies the next day. I went to A&e and ecg was clear.
Two nights ago I had a massive panic attack in the evening with DH, I was sobbing and begging him to take me to hospital (I didnt think it was going to Kill me, but I felt so SO afraid that it was never going to end and I wanted to be sedated or monitored or something - just be somewhere safe) it went on about an hour. Eventually a relative came over with 5mg of Valium and it worked and I slept it all off.
Saw GP the next morning (yesterday) and she gave me propanolol 40mg 3x per day, and 5mg Valium for desperate nights. (It always peaks in evening) I was reluctant to go back on sertraline as I basically haven’t had sex for 6 years apart from on the times I’ve been off it - to conceive! Totally destroys my libido. But that’s the only side effect.
Yesterday I was fine and I thought the propanolol was helping. I was kept busy with toddler DD3 which helped. Last night even then Valium didn’t really help. I was so anxious and fearful and convinced I was going to feel panic for ever and would end up sectioning myself to stay safe. Really believed I would never come out of this. eventually I slept, obviously from the Valium.
Today still feeling that creeping up feeling of dread from the pit of my stomach. Butterflies and my mind fixating on the ‘fact’ that it will never go away. The last 3 months this has happened it has gone on day 3-4 of my period but I’m still waiting for my period to arrive and I amd now completely convinced this time will be different and it will never end. The only ray of hope I have is that if it doesn’t end when my period does, I can go back in the sertraline, but I even have some doubt there that it will work this time. I’m just so stuck in this fear. My worst case thought is that it will never stop and I’ll be forced to kill myself, although I don’t feel suicidal. I just feel terror. And I can imagine myself as that person rocking and crying and sobbing in a mental institution for the rest of time.
What do I do? I am desperate and I am counting down the house till the kids are in bed and that’s when it all starts to kick off.

Thank you. I get all that, and it’s kind of what the book I was reading tried to explain. And it makes sense and I really want to be able to do it. But, with the house move in 4 days, I don’t have the time or capacity to face up to this. So, under the drs instruction, I’m going to use half a Valium as and when I need it to enable to me pack up a 4 bedroom house in 3 days. Otherwise I am literally good for nothing. I haven’t achieved a thing all week. DH has had to take extra time off to look after the kids and crack on with packing.
I feel happier already knowing I have the drs blessing to use it. I had been fighting and storing up the anxiety all day just waiting for the evening when it would blow up and I would take one. He said to take half a one in the day when I need it before it gets so out of control I am taking myself up to hospital - like today.
Also hopefully by the time I have moved house the sertraline will be doing it’s thing?

Google the Linden Method. It helped me cure my panic attacks and anxiety 15 years ago and I read an article in the You magazine a couple of years where Jodie Kidd had also done the same programme xx

Hi, I’m just checking in as I find it helps to get it down.
I had a brilliant morning, no anxiety at all and felt normal. Then at 3pm ish I just felt it creeping in, more and more. I tried a relaxation, breathing, facing the fear like I read in the book - it all just got so much worse. I ended up taking half a diazepam just now. Then now I have become taken over with an overwhelming drowsiness. I feel totally drugged - propanolol, diazepam and sertraline. I’m so fed up. I felt so positive this morning and the kids have been out, and now theyre back and need their mum and I’m hiding under the covers gripped with total fear. And fighting to stay awake! DH is doing dinner as I can’t be down there. Fuck, I just don’t know what to do.

I hate this life. I don’t know what to do any more. Took the second half. Feel so sleepy I can barely function to put the kids to bed. Feel so desperate.

Would you be able to afford to go private for some therapy? The NHS can take ages for referrals.

I have a therapist. He mainly does emdr though. I saw him last week and it didn’t really help. I don’t know what kind of therapy I need. I have just been looking at a linden therapy retreat where you go for 4 days and stay. My family is suffering with me likes this, I can pay for it.
Or is it CBT I need? Or is it just that the sertraline is playing havoc and I need a few more days for it to kick in?

Sertraline can really ramp up your anxiety at the start so I’d be tempted to give it a few more days. When do you take your tablet?

OP I have felt like you and it is awful. I would really recommend trying CBT, it really helped me. I also took paroxitine (still taking a low dose) and diazepam when things were really bad. The CBT took time but the skills I learnt were really helpful. I also use some self taught mindfulness. I have had no strong symptoms now for about 12 months. If I have a slight wobble now I try to acknowledge my feelings rather then hide or deny them and find this helpful: www.sanvello.com/community/mindfulness/post/181405.

I also suffer with anxiety and panic attacks. It all started after the birth of my daughter 5 yrs ago and was completely out of control for about 2 yrs, then settled right down for about 2 yrs and it has just ramped up again over the last month. I never took ADs as couldn't stand the side effects!

As I sit typing this, I also feel a sense of deep panic in the pit of my stomach, tight chest, tight jaw, pounding heart. God it sucks.

What is helping me right now, drinking water, calm rhythmical breathing, stroking my dog who is lying next to me and just trying to ride it out and accept it rather than fighting it. Exercise definitely helps too, I found walking the best, nothing too intense.

I also used to suffer during the evening and was mostly fine during the day. I think being busy generally helps and when we stop and try to relax, it just steamrollers over you.

My advice would be don't drink alcohol under any circumstances. It won't relax you, it'll only make things worse. Only watch calm things on the tv - nothing loud or stressful. Think David Attenborough rather than Game of Thrones. Self massage, back of neck, temples, jaw. A warm bath and I also found that being cuddled by my husband whilst in the grips of a panic attack really helped. I just needed to be held.

Sorry you're going through this. It's awful. However it won't last forever, it never does. You're just in the eye of the storm right now

Thank you so much everyone. I’m sorry so many of you have been through it too. Canihaveapint you sound so strong - I can’t imagine facing this without medication right now, although I would love to.
I take my sertraline at night. I always have on the other times I have taken it, and it always suited me. The last time I was on it 2-3 years ago I never experienced these effects. I wonder if it is interacting with the propanolol. I think it is that which is making me so drowsy. It peaks a couple of hours after I take it and I literally can’t keep my eyes open. My bpm was 45. That can’t be good?! I’m going back to Gp tomorrow and it will have been 4th time I have seen a dr in a week. Ridiculous. I am so desperate for this to end.
I always feel better after seeing a dr... until the next day.
I’m so sad that my kids are losing my like this, especially my 2 year old who is so clingy and just wants me, and my 8 year old who senses Something bad is wrong. My 5 year old seems unfazed for now.

Also I’m finding it impossible to eat. Really nauseous and zero appetitte

Bless you, it's so frightening isn't it

I think the setraline is a double edged sword, it's supposed to reduce anxiety but all too often it actually exacerbates it! That was my experience anyway. I think I lasted five days before giving up on it as I felt suicidal and felt as though I might go through with it.

How long have you been back on it and what is your dosage? Higher/lower than before? I think that if it's worked well for you before then it will again, you just have to get through the side effects. Which is soooo hard and you're doing so well.

Is your husband supportive?

Husband is amazing but as I said hot bread we are moving house this week, he is parenting 3 kids, packing up the house, working a demanding job - it’s hard for him and he’s still amazing but I am so worried about him.

Sertraline has always worked for me but I have never had side effects like this before. I wonder if it’s not side effects at all but I’m just in a worse place to begin with.
I’m about to take my 5th tablet. Just feel so Nauseous and exhausted.

Try and eat something if you can, even just a biscuit. When my blood sugar drops my anxiety goes through the roof. Even when I lose my appetite I have to keep my blood sugar balanced and force myself to eat or I feel so dreadful.
Hope you feel a lot better tomorrow

Thank you so much

Also just to add, just be careful what you eat as I find my anxiety ramps up if my sugar level spikes. But a plain biscuit and water would be fine. Chamomile tea is good and powdered magnesium helps too. In fact I'm going to have some of that now!

Hi op just to say sertraline 15 mg is more sedating than 30 mg whet are you on?

I was on a number of sertraline threads when I first started taking it and I’m sure some posters said that their anxiety was worse when they restarted after a break - but that it did eventually calm down. The nausea was terrible for me at the beginning too.

I can completely relate to this. My anxiety started after my son was born 3 years ago and I've been on and off sertraline.

I have just increased my dose back to 50mg of sertraline after cutting down to 25mg trying to wean off. The side effects feel unbearable the anxiety is debilitating I'm on day 18 and the weekend has just been a series of panic attacks!

I just want to give up but also scared to be back where I was or try a different med in case the side effects are just as bad.

I have also been very drowsy of an evening, worst in the first week of upping I couldn't keep my eyes open after 7pm but I wake 4am with that horrible anxious feeling.

I have some diazepam but last time I took it it only took the edge off the anxiety and made me feel really spaced out. It's only 2mg so maybe not enough.

I do a lot of self help using headspace getting out on long walks, yoga etc but some days nothing works.

I've been reading these forums as I just needed some support from people who understand but so sorry your all suffering too.

Hi scm123
Sorry you are in this place too. I feel like an absolute wreck and some moments I can’t believe I am going to get through this. I have had an ok day, only possible by someone taking my youngest and me taking a nap in the middle of the day which I just couldn’t stay awake without, and I felt pretty good on waking, but I’ve just experience another terrifying wave of panic and I’m hiding in my bed while dad watches tv downstairs. My husband has taken the week working from home but this can’t go on. I don’t know how to get through it. I can’t manage my life without several other people on hand to help and that’s just not sustainable

Has anyone on this thread had any success with EMDR for panic disorder? Maybe I should start a new thread.

I have no experience of EMDR sorry.

It's so hard constantly looking for answers. I think we just need to ride the sertraline side effects out and we will eventually get there it just feels like such a long time.

I get so many feelings of guilt for not being myself for my DH and DS. My DH can't take anytime off work so I'm on my own with regards to getting my son sorted and to nursery.

Praying we turn a corner soon.

On Saturday I got married. Full blown panic attack in the morning that mostly ruined my day. I'm not laid in bed with stomach cramps and Diarrhea, meant to be flying to Sri-Lanka on Thursday. I don't know how I'm going to board that plane.

Anyway a book I've read before and am now reading again is by Joshua Fletcher and is called anxiety, panicking about panic. I have to say it's one of the best books I've read. I too am on meds but sometimes they don't cut it. Try the book, it makes so much sense and is an easy read. Much love to us all and this bastard of an illness can fuck right off!!

Oh I’m so sorry boredboredbored
That’s just awful, I feel so sad for you. Do you have anything extra you can take for the flight - diazepam?
I have just downloaded the Dare app and I’m going to try and cram listen to the panic attack programme within the 7 day free trial. It sounds promising.

Oh and congratulations on getting married!