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Original poster

reducing ADs - Wish i hadn't told dh

25 replies

neednewbag · 23/08/2007 20:57

I've been taking citalopram for a year - 20mg for 8 months and then down to 10mg. tried coming off before but when back to getting hyserical about the slightest thing. just over a wk ago i started only taking 5mg(didn't tell dh beacuse wanted to see how it went dealing with it on my own) today reduced to 2,5mg and ended up telling him. I got really upset about a silly thing earlier and reacted far worse than i would either whn on normal dose , or before he knew i'd reduced dose. he go angry and shouted "this is what happnes when you stop your pills"I think possibly when i'm reducing dose(yes i do feel bad some of the time) but if he knows i expect to be able to snap/ overreact etc, maybe "test" whether he'll help my withdrawal. have now told him am going to start them again and i'll cut down again at some point but will not tell him when i'm doing it incase i do use it as an excuse for my behaviour. have told him i don't want him to ask about it but will tell him in a few months how i'm doing. any thoughts anyone?

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dissle · 23/08/2007 21:03

Ok yes, i know because ive tried like you to come off.

me too, on 20mg, cut to 10mg after 12 months of bieng on them.
stuck to 10mg for about 3 months...did ok, then stopped.

depression back like a sledgehammer in the guts...no warning just BAM, back.

went back onto 20, felt better within days.

so went to DRs. they advised to speak with them first before cutting down, to be on full dose for AT LEAST one year, then to cut down after speaking with them...then cut down, stick to that dose for a prolonged period of time...do not stop tho, continue and see GP to discuss.

it is harder than you think and not because you are addicted or any thing like tht but because you are just not ready yet.

listen to your body.

its hard, i sypathise, be careful and also more importantlt, be kind to your self, dont put your self through the torture, its only a wee pill, take it if it helps, for me it really really does.

Original poster
neednewbag · 23/08/2007 21:08

thanks dissle. ifeel so upset that dh can't understand and give me "special" treatment while i'm coming off. but maybe it's best he doesn't know so that i don't possible"test him with it?

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Milliways · 23/08/2007 21:09

I'm glad you posted this as DH is coming off anti D's. He took soo long to get help & admit he needed medication that I was nervous when he started to stop. I used to say "Have you taken your tablet" when he was moody - mailnly because he was terrible to live with before & I didn't want the kids going back to that!

However, He is now down to ONE A WEEK! and might not even be taking that (don't want to ask) so the end is really in sight.

It's a long road, and I wish you well.

dissle · 23/08/2007 21:12

hm, dont you find tho that ANYONE who has not suffered from depression or anxiety just dont "get it" nor can you possibly begin to explain to them how it feels.

agree about not giving him "amunition" as such to blame your reactions to bieng without the drug on board, however i think that maybe you need the support from him. He may be able to spot before you do thae unpleasant symptoms creaping back in, and may be able to communicate to you at an earlier stage and prevent you from blowing a gasket over nothing????

Original poster
neednewbag · 23/08/2007 21:13

thanks milliways. well done to your dh! am i expecting too much to expect this "special " treatment and understanding during my reduction of the AD's?. maybe i do test him (which i know is bad) would love to hear all your opinions. thanks

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Original poster
neednewbag · 23/08/2007 21:17

thanks dissle but don't think he'd be able to spot it before it happened! think it's best if i keep this battle away from dh - i'm sure i can do it, well i hope so (if i don't tell him)if i don;t expect specila treatmen (because) he knows, then i won't get angry for not getting it

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dissle · 23/08/2007 21:17

are you off them now?

Original poster
neednewbag · 23/08/2007 21:19

no, was on 10mg, then reduced to 5mg 8 days ago, and took 2.5mg today

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dissle · 23/08/2007 21:21

why are you rushing?

Milliways · 23/08/2007 21:22

DH found it easier to take 1 tablet every 2 days (then 3 days etc) rather than a tiny dose each day.

Original poster
neednewbag · 23/08/2007 21:24

i'm rushing because i don't wnay to put on any more weight - took ad's in the past and endin up putting on 2.5 stone. weight has been creeeping up over the last year. Would really like ot know what you think about my dh and how he's so nasty to me when i overreat.

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Original poster
neednewbag · 23/08/2007 21:25

If he could be more understanding i wouldn't need the ADs at all

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dissle · 23/08/2007 21:29

see now, i lost weight on them, went to ww but had a reduced appetite on them, lost 2 stone.

you are taking it very fast and are setting yourself up for failure imo.

have no idea about your hubby, dont know about your relationship so cant comment also dont think that it is my place to comment.

some people just dont cope well with mental illness do they, perhaps your hubby is one of those people. Mine is the same...pull yourself together, you have nothing to be depressed about type comments.

Original poster
neednewbag · 23/08/2007 21:32

mine thinks i have nothing to be unhappy about aswell - i don't work, we've got a nice house , etc. i'm not unhappy, just over reactive

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dissle · 23/08/2007 21:38

yes, ive truly got nothing to be down about either..till i had my baby who has never slept a full night through and who has proved to be my biggest challenge to date!

my point is that i FUNCTION on the tablets, i function normally. Its nice, i am on an even keel with now drops in mood.
i can put my "down days" down to my period due, and know that tomorow i will be back to normal.
without the pills the down days went on and on and on.
from bad to worse then back to bad again, not me at all.
it took me 2 years to finally go to the Drs and ask for help...2 years.
i absolutely refuse to go back to that and those feelings so if taking a little pill iswhat it takes then personnally that is what i will do.
dont rush it, please.

have you tried weight watchers or some thing similar? you may be over eating because of the depression/anxiety, its a common symptom after all.

dissle · 23/08/2007 21:44

so you are saying that you are on ads because your hubby is not understanding.
he is unkind about you over eating.
he has shouted at you for stopping your pills.

sounds like you need marriage guidance OR a new hubby love.

sounds to me like you feel that the root of your problems are your hubby, is this fair to say?

Original poster
neednewbag · 23/08/2007 22:03

hi again dissle. no he's not unkind about me eating. i'm not even that big - just getting bigger than i want to be. he did shout at me about how i was behaving tonight and that it must have been because i was reducing the ad s. have told him that it's going to be my own private battle now - and don't want him to ask or mention the tablets. then i can't expect any special treatment if he doesn't know

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Original poster
neednewbag · 24/08/2007 02:26

anyone there?

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fussymummy · 24/08/2007 02:36

Hi, i'm here and fully understand how you feel.

Original poster
neednewbag · 24/08/2007 02:43

hi fussy mummy, thanks for posting. what do yu think about me keeping it all to myself so i can't expect any special treatment?

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Original poster
neednewbag · 24/08/2007 10:48

anyone there - please?

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Original poster
neednewbag · 24/08/2007 18:04

Anyone? i'm just so confused and have just had such a miserable day - just don't know what i should do. please help

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Original poster
neednewbag · 25/08/2007 11:08

anyone there?

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fussymummy · 30/08/2007 10:38

How are things with you?

Original poster
neednewbag · 30/08/2007 11:26

well things got worse over the weekend as you may have seen from my other threads. I've arranaged to see a counsellor and gone back to taking 10mg again. dh said he was proudn of me for arranging the appt. still feeling very low

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