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Made a major minor accomplishment? Mental well being thread to celebrate those big little moments

139 replies

NowWeSuckingDiesel · 28/10/2019 10:13

I have struggled with poor mental health for many years. Some days it can be a struggle just to get dessed and other days I can be up and on the go all the time. I thought it would be helpful to have a daily check in thread to celebrate those little big things for all us should it just be replying to a text you have avoided or scaling Mount Everest that day. Big or little all accomplishments are of equal value and may just help others on their mental well-being journey. And of course general chit-chat is very welcomed!

Would love if we could get a group together, please join me!

OP posts:
Disfordarkchocolate · 14/11/2019 09:10

Good luck thisnamechanger, lots of us have realised that we aren't kind enough to ourselves. For me, this is linked to very low self-esteem.

thisnamechanger · 14/11/2019 09:23

Thank you Disfordarkchocolate

In my case it was being raised by a DM with severe anxiety - it taught me to be frightened of absolutely everything. Our whole family was a slave to it. A gap year or any traveling was totally out of the question. Plus my Dad thinks traveling is frivolous and you must just work very hard all the time like he did. But then he worked incredibly hard his whole life, never saw me and DBro growing up, made a packet, then the year he retired DM died! What does that tell you!

Disfordarkchocolate · 14/11/2019 09:36

I'm slowly coming to realise how much impact my Mum's mental health had on parts of my childhood thisnamechanger, it's hard because I love my Mum and she was a wonderful parent when we were all adults.

Diy2019 · 14/11/2019 10:25

@RecoveryChick how was the rest of yesterday for you?

@afternoonspray that's great that you've had such a good start to the morning. I'm glad you are taking positive steps with the vitamins etc, I'm glad you've figured out what helps you.

@thisnamechanger you can do this and it will be an amazing experience for you.

@disfordarkchocolate your last post has given me the courage to contact a psychotherapist for an appointment. My gp recommended her last week but I haven't made contact up until now. It's a huge fear I have that the children are going to be affected or miss out in life because of my pnd and anxiety. So I've made contact with her now, thanks for the unintended persuasion Smile

Diy2019 · 14/11/2019 11:12

I made my first appointment for tomorrow evening. I feel sick with nerves but know it's for the best.

Diy2019 · 14/11/2019 13:54

Today I’m going to work using a different route, just for kicks. Try it!

@SeaSidePebbles today I took your tip. I left a few minutes earlier to collect ds from school and took a slightly longer route. But it meant I got a different view of the snow capped mountains that are on my door step, made me realise I take this for granted and that I should take alternate routes more often!

Made a major minor accomplishment? Mental well being thread to celebrate those big little moments
thisnamechanger · 14/11/2019 14:06

On a related note, does anyone else wake up every morning for work with a sense of intense dread? It's always been there but so much worse lately.

Disfordarkchocolate · 14/11/2019 15:22

That's really quick @Diy2019, so little time to get nervous. Don't expect too much from a first appointment but also if they don't feel like the right fit, be brave and move on quickly and find another one.

Don't worry about that deadline @ RecoveryChick, it's done and that's what counts. From a fellow procrastinator, that is a very positive outcome.

Diy2019 · 14/11/2019 15:25

@thisnamechanger is it that you dread getting up because of work? I only ever had that with one job that I absolutely hated and where the managers were really unfair. Never since then with any job.

But when the pnd came, I did have that in general with every day, waking up thinking 'I can't believe I have to go through another day'. But that have more or less gone with the meds.

Diy2019 · 14/11/2019 15:28

@Disfordarkchocolate
Thanks for the advice. The appointment is an hour long, that seems like such a long time Hmm
I really don't know what to expect as I have never done anything like this before.

Disfordarkchocolate · 14/11/2019 15:37

My first counselling appointment this summer was really good, he just gave off trusting vibes and was always compassionate but still pushed me forward. I've had other but I think he was the best for gaining trust. It was CBT so you know there is a structure and I'd expect the first appointment to include something about why you are there, what you want out of it and what they offer. It's normally 50 minutes as the last 10 minutes is for them to write notes up. Good luck.

PS at other first appointments I've been very quiet and/or cried a lot.

Diy2019 · 15/11/2019 07:42

Thanks @Disfordarkchocolate, I'm glad you have found someone so helpful and trusting.
Do you have any nice plans for this weekend?

Thisnamechanger · 15/11/2019 09:21

But when the pnd came, I did have that in general with every day, waking up thinking 'I can't believe I have to go through another day

How sad for you Sad I'm glad you're feeling better. I've been off meds for a number of years because coming on and off them is so much faff. It's just work... Tether. End of!

Diy2019 · 15/11/2019 10:57

@thisnamechanger if it's just work related at least you know the end is in sight. Soon you won't have that stress any more and you will have plenty of time to unwind in Australia. How are you feeling about it now?

afternoonspray · 15/11/2019 11:08

@thisnamechanger - hang in there. You are counting the days now until it's over. I am so impressed that you are making this leap.

My much more modest accomplishment is finally going to the GP to ask for underactive thyroid blood tests. I'm starting to think my depression may be even more physically based than I had thought.

Thisnamechanger · 15/11/2019 14:08

How are you feeling about it now?

Sick. I'm sitting here having a normal (horrible day) completely unable to imagine behaving the courage to do it. Have been here near 6 years! Sad

afternoonspray · 15/11/2019 18:52

They do know you are leaving? Your posts sound as if you are nervous of doing a runner. Are you properly winding down your wokr, handing it over to whoever takes over, clearing emails and desk etc. You probably need to be scaling down doing much work towards the end of next week.

Diy2019 · 16/11/2019 07:12

I went for my first appt with a therapist yesterday. I actually liked it and it felt good talking about everything.
I learned a bit about myself already, I think I have become so used to putting on a brave face that I've suppressed all my feelings. Even talking to the therapist yesterday, I was telling her a lot about my life, she asked how I felt and honestly I felt nothing- no feeling whatsoever. It's the first time I realised that I've been feeling this. I know I put on a brave face and pretend everything's ok, but didn't realise it had become this extreme.
Around my anxiousness she had a few good tips aswell which I need to start putting into practice.

I'm back again on tues/wed (can't remember which) so I'm looking forward to it.

Diy2019 · 16/11/2019 07:14

@afternoonspray that's good getting the test organised with your gp, will you be able to have the test soon?

afternoonspray · 16/11/2019 12:17

@Diy2019 - I'm so glad the therapy session was worthwhile. Blood tests booked for late next week, so I should know by the end of this month at the latest.

Thisnamechanger · 16/11/2019 14:05

52afternoonspray they don't know yet, j have to wait til my commission actually lands in my bank account, otherwise they don't give it to you, even though the financial year it reflects ended in June! I think they're going to go ballistic Sad

afternoonspray · 16/11/2019 14:44

Ah, no wonder you are stressed. I bet that's the reason. Nothing they can do, and really, it's just a job. Someone else can do it. The world will keep turning. However ballistic they are, they'll get over it and you will be thousands of miles away in sunshine...

Thisnamechanger · 17/11/2019 12:36

Can I ask you all something...what do you do when you feel you're teetering on the edge of a real mental relapse?

newdeer · 18/11/2019 07:36

@thisnamechanger - this is happening to me right now. A few years ago I took a year out to work on my mental health and basically try anything and everything I could to get well. I haven't 'cured' the depression (which is lifelong) but I am much much more in control of it as a result of all those investigations. Here's what I do:

1.) Take supplements - B, D spray, iron, tyrosine. Take any that you know boost your metabolism and mood.
2.) Follow the mantra: 'you don't have to want to, you just have to do it' over absolute basics like showering, cleaning teeth and getting dressed each day.
3.) Scale back commitments. Cancel anything you don't have to do. I remind myself this is a physical illness. A majr organ of the body, the brain, ismalfunctioning and i do need that extra rest and less pressure until it is working better.
4.) A walk in nature. I don't manage this every day but do most days. Hill or woodland or park walk.
5.)Eat better. If nothing else, lay off the sugar. Sugar is an evil mood swinger. Refined carbs are too. Minimise sugar and white flour as soon as you start feeling low, and increase food like walnuts, brazils, almonds, turkey (if not veggie/vegan). Also cook with as many anti-inflammatories as you can: garlic, ginger, turmeric, sage. I genuinely notice this difference.

6.) Choose upbeat influences: play lively music, watch comic sketches and feelgood films, read gorgeous poetry and escapist novels, meet up with kind friends who are gentle and don't bitch or whinge about life.
7.) keep a gratitude journal. Just write down three things every evening that you enjoyed that day or are grateful for in your life.

And, best cure of all -
8) Do something you have never done before every single day. Can be tiny: new soap scent, new radio station, new latte flavour. Bit more adventurous: new route to work or school, new outfit, new recipe, new cafe. Can be bolder: apply for new job, sign up for new course, talk to a new person who could become a friend. Can be a bucket-list style thing: visit somewhere you've always wanted to go, do somehting you;ve always intended to try.

Of all my depression cures, this is by far the most effective. It's not perfect. I can find myself thinking: can you only be happy if you are endlessly distracted by going to gigs, theatre, galleries? etc, as a lot of my 'new' stuff does revolve around being entertained rather than me getting off my arse and doing something worthwhile. But it is better than sitting at home moping and sleeping and weeping. So I try not to be too hard on myself when I'm in that stage of recovery.

Thisnamechanger · 18/11/2019 09:58

newdeer that's absolutely rad advice. I was really feeling it yesterday morning. Am definitely cancelling everything I don't have to do this week. Eating vegetables, avoiding wine and having early nights with podcasts. I'm sure when I've handed my notice in two and bit week it'll be like a huge weight has been lifted. Feel on the verge of a panic attack at all times atm Sad

I love number 2 on your list...I sucked at yoga on Sunday but tried to rationalize that sometimes you just need to show up to yoga, even if it's rubbish! It's still better than not doing anything.