Today I took my first Sertraline tablet

[MonnaLiza]

Hello fellow MH sufferers.

Today I have taken my first Sertraline tablet. I had severe depression in my 20s and then struggled after my first child was born, and then again when my mum was ill... and now... the fourth time in my life in which I stare the Black Dog in the face.

Apart from the first time I have always managed to get through the darkness by soldiering on... willpower ... wait ad it will pass, and it did pass eventually.

But this time I felt medication could help. My GP also though so, considering I was sobbing in his surgery. I was prescribed Sertraline.

I waited a few days, but after a rather bad meltdown Wednesday night I decided to get on with it.

So I took my first tablet today and not sitting on my bed terrified about it with my eyes wide open as if I had been taking some form of acid instead of some safe medication that millions of people take everyday.

Tell me to get a grip! And also tell me i'll feel better soon as I am in so much pain.

Thank you so much for your kind message @Cantfindmyway! :) That was lovely. Please be kind to yourself. Sometimes shit just happens and whatever it is, it is unlikely that the onus/responsibility always lies on one person.

Yes, @MonnaLIza , that's good progress!

I like your idea, so here on day 32 (with the same headings):

SLEEP
Beginning: waking in the wee hours unable to get back to sleep, exhausted, worrying the night away, didn't want to get up.
Now: waking nearer morning, but still can't get back to sleep after 5.30am, want to get up on non-work days, doing better on work days but not great.

EXERCISE/PHYSICAL ACTIVITY
Beginning: only walking the dogs but trying to get out of it
Now: not much more, but have been swimming once and to yoga once, but feel more inclined

ANXIETY SYMPTOMS
Beginning: cried at drop of hat, yelled too, couldn't take anything going wrong.
Now: much better on whole but in dealing with work (one person) I am still struggling, burning up, prickling, ashamed.

DEPRESSED FEELINGS
Beginning: No joy in anything, but no 'bad thoughts'
Now: Much better. Doing some things just for fit or to relax. Enjoying things like taking kid to a sports comp instead of just tying to get through, trying to see friends.

ATTITUDE TOWARDS FOOD
Beginning: binging when alone, mostly crisps and sweets
Now: still binging but usually a smaller binge and fewer crisps (which make me depressed a bit later - big bags!)

SIDE EFFECTS OF MEDICATION
Beginning: headache, feeling spaced out, tired, nauseous
Now: none

MORNINGS
Beginning: Groundhog Day - Another day to get through with no pleasure
Now: Good apart from my fears about dealing with work. Great on weekends.

I'm going to add in:
SELF-CARE
Beginning: struggling to bother showering or wash hair, never dry it, hate dressing
Now: looking after my cleanliness better, taking more care of hair and skin and teeth. Still a way to go, but putting more effort in.

Housework/DIY/Maintenance
Beginning: did none as far as possible
Now: at least I want to now, but still overwhelmed with getting sorted but making small steps in right direction.

The mood of our whole family has lifted as mine has, the kids are happier now I don't cry all the time and dh is supportive. Definitely the pills are helping me.

Hi all, happy weekend :)

@ThingDoer, I also see good progress there!

I am on Day 36 and for the first time felt no doom in the morning. We cleaned the house top to bottom and now relaxing with herbal tea and dark chocolate. I feel ok. Slight headache but the may be because of using bleach, etc. Things are looking up.

Day 17.
So proud of myself for getting this far.
Side effects lessening. Fuzzy head still there but much more bearable. I was able to go to work yesterday and day before and didn't notice fuzzy head. So I realise I need to keep myself busy. It's only when I sit and think about it that I feel light headed. Stomach settling too. Appetite reduced but believe me thats not a bad thing!!
Can't say my mood has hugely improved. But definitely feeling less stressed. Just taking things in my stride. And the over thinking has lessened which is great. As that was wrecking my head. I was over thinking everything and getting myself all paranoid and wound up.
So for anyone starting out keep going. The first few weeks are really tough but it's definitely worth it.

@jogalong that's marvellous

And can I just confess this. I baked a cake and was dancing in the kitchen. If you had told me this 36 ago I would have never believed it. For a couple of songs I felt carefree and happy.

• 36 days ago

@MonnaLIza brilliant news! I had a short time of feeling rational today but the rest of the day feeling really anxious! Only day 5 though...

@MonnaLiza that's brilliant. The sunshine is breaking through.

That is great @MonnaLIza ! I'm at a ceilidh and danced... last year same event I did not get off my backside, so that is progress too!

Hello :) Day 37. Really tired today. Two steps ahead and one back but still moving forward. Sundays are often hard days for me.

Day 18 fuzzy head gone. Stomach settled. Actually feeling constipated TMI at the moment.
Apart from that I'm feeling really positive. And my brain is relaxed. Not going at the usual million miles a minute!!
I hope things stay like this for me.

Morning Sertraliners :)

Oooh day 38. Monday. Mornings are not great. Working from home so feeling meh from the outset. But it's my last week so I am battling on. New life just round the corner.

Hi! day 39. Last week at this job so SWAMPED!! But I am coping well. I have even managed to do a phone call which I had postponed and postponed and postponed because I was dreading it. It was not as bad as I feared.

I hope everyone is coping well? Le me know how you are getting on.

I am doing good. So glad I percievered. Not feeling ecstatic about life but definitely the black cloud is gone. I'm on a low dose 25mgs so I'll talk to my Dr at my review to see if I need to increase.
The over thinking and procrastination has reduced hugely which is a big relief.

I am doing really well too, though still struggling with the difficult colleague (getting worse) but I am trying to make sure I keep my management informed (though they are doing nothing). Working on escape plan but it can't take less than 3 months. Using meditation and taking myself away from it as well as much as possible.

Hi all
Did anyone have a shaky feeling in the morning with the Setraline? I'm really debating coming off it as my fear is neuro diseases and it's making me feel worse, I have had some tiredness, shaky feeling first thing in the morning, jittery and also fuzzy head ... it making me worry more!

@Mumma1984 I've posted a big list of anxiety symptoms on the other Sertraline thread. That's classic anxiety that the Sertraline makes worse to start with. I've had it before Sertraline purely from anxiety. I fear neuro diseases too...convinced it was MS at one point. Try to persevere. I'm on day 9 now and I do think I feel a bit better already. Great to hear you are doing well @MonnaLIza @ThingDoer @jogalong You guys are further on than the other thread! Gives us all hope!

@Hairydogmummy thanks! Difficult one because my anxiety is health anxiety and I've had numbness and tingling and an ms fear for 7 years even after a clear MRI 6 years ago 😩

Hi all sorry if I am not engaging, this is a hit and run post as (I may have mentioned it only a million times) it's my last week at work and I have so much to do is unreal.

But I want to post because at DAY 40
I had a true breakthrough.

This morning I was awake at 6.30 and wanted to get up - I have not been wanting to get up for, like, YEARS. The tiredness is also much much diminishing.

I am writing this to give hope to those who feel sick, tired, exhausted and unspeakably sad. It will get better.

@Mumma1984 me too! Had it for years and years. It's so horrible. It's sort of morphed now in to other intrusive thoughts which make me worry I have a mental illness like I've worried for years about physical illness!

What time of day does everyone take their pill?

Day 22
Not a good day today. Anxiety through the roof. Had a bad day at work so not surprised I'm anxious. Overall felt crap today. Anxious, low mood etc. And I thought I was doing really well. My positive thoughts turned to negative ones. A lot of shit in my life not helping.
Hope tomorrow will be better.
Nite

@jogalong sorry to hear that... I hate it when you feel you're doing well and then down you go again. Sometimes it feels like you daren't think positive in case it brings the negative thoughts flooding in! I've not had a great day either. They do say 4-6 weeks for it to help with anxiety