Today I took my first Sertraline tablet

[MonnaLiza]

Hello fellow MH sufferers.

Today I have taken my first Sertraline tablet. I had severe depression in my 20s and then struggled after my first child was born, and then again when my mum was ill... and now... the fourth time in my life in which I stare the Black Dog in the face.

Apart from the first time I have always managed to get through the darkness by soldiering on... willpower ... wait ad it will pass, and it did pass eventually.

But this time I felt medication could help. My GP also though so, considering I was sobbing in his surgery. I was prescribed Sertraline.

I waited a few days, but after a rather bad meltdown Wednesday night I decided to get on with it.

So I took my first tablet today and not sitting on my bed terrified about it with my eyes wide open as if I had been taking some form of acid instead of some safe medication that millions of people take everyday.

Tell me to get a grip! And also tell me i'll feel better soon as I am in so much pain.

Day 46

Waiting to start my new job next week. I'd rather start sooner. I am trying to talk myself into the fact that I deserve some days off but feel as it's more uncertainty, more waiting, more hanging on. It's as if life is slipping by.

Yesterday was not a good day.

I feel trapped in the house.

I should enjoy these days off before the new job and instead feel anxious and scared. Yesterday I did not leave the house, in my jammies until midday and the day went in a haze.

I have not had any real 'time off' since 2014 (holidays were a few days off attached to work travel and shepherding a family with 2 teens so, even if fun, they were kind of work).

Why do I find it so difficult to do nothing, relax, accept I am allowed some time out to think, mourn my losses and reflect? I wonder if part of this repression is cause by my body saying STOP going a million miles an hour, doing, doing, doing. Just rest for a while. I wonder if I am burned out by overwork, loss and living a life to please others.

Day 47 and I am spending it thinking and reflecting. Taking care of myself.

Hi @MonnaLIza

I spent almost all of my time off sick from work watching daft telly and crocheting/knitting/cross-stitching. I feel like I was teaching myself to relax again, so maybe that's what you need to do too. I find crafty things make me feel better (I've noticed this before) because it feel like I've created something, done something - I went for mags with kits to hey me back to it and have just started doing a more ambitious knitting project. After 2 weeks of that I started to feel better, have plans etc.

I've also done a bit of yoga which really helps - have you tried? It felt so luxurious and decadent to spend that time on me... quite wierd because I didn't think I wasn't! I must do more.

My difficult colleague has come out of their gloom with me, which is much better but I'm not going to get sucked back into pleasing her. Also waiting to hear about a job application - fingers crossed for an interview!

Having a lovely moochy day today with dh because it's my birthday. Quite a strange day but I'm liking it.

What about doing some batch cooking to make first couple of weeks in new job a bit easier or get all your Christmas preparations ahead of the game? Or watch Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries on Netflix - my easy watching go-to 😀

Thank you for your lovely positive post @ThingDoer, and so good to hear your colleague is now behaving better! And super fingers crossed for your job application.

It is interesting that a vacancy has come up for the 'perfect' job in my former career and I have ZERO interest in it! I am glad to start a new, different job and move away from it - I do think that my former career has a lot to answer for my current mental state (as well as the many deaths that have been plagued my family in the past two years - so many people near me have died...).

Today I have achieved given a deep clean to my room which, considering I had given it a deep clean on Saturday, wasn't too dirty but I changed my bed, hoovered, dusted and now I am ensconced in my beloved yellow Marimekko duvet in a room smelling of lavender and I feel I have achieved something!

Next thing I am going to hoover the sitting room and study and then will do a quick 10 minute yoga session from youtube following your advice.

Day 48 and I am fighting the inertia!

Day 49 - my last therapy session, last 'free' weekend before my new job starts on Tuesday.

Day 30 today. Feeling positive. Although I'm on a low dose I feel setraline has saved me.
There's no doubt the initial side effects are very difficult but it's worth it in the long run.
My only fear now is if I were ever to come off it. Hopefully my gp will continue to prescribe.
How everyone else doing well

Day 20 for me. I had a couple of amazing days around day 15. I honestly felt back to the old me. I wasn’t consumed by the thoughts that have filled my head for the last 6 months. Unfortunately, I haven’t felt quite so good the last few days but still definitely better than before. I’m also very sleep deprived because my kids are both really ill and up through the night a lot so I’m not sure if this is impacting things. I hope you are all doing well?

@jogalong I’d assume our GP’s will let us stay on them for as long as we need? I hope so anyway. That’s really good that you’re feeling the benefit ☺️

@MonnaLiza did you find your therapy sessions helpful? Wishing you lots of luck in your new job ☺️

One thing that's still not shifting since taking Setraline is this jittery feeling ... like adrenaline is constantly running through me, anyone else got this?

@Mumma1984 do you drink caffeine at all? I cut out caffeine a little while back as it worsens anxiety. I’ve had the odd cup of coffee whilst taking Sertraline and I’ve realised that drinking coffee whilst on this medicine makes me really really jittery. That may just be me but I thought I’d mention incase this could be relevant for you ☺️

@TrySleepingWithABrokenHeart yeh I drink tea and coffee but I don't think I could live without it lol guess I could switch to decaf ... thing also is that I'm still as worried about the same thing I was when the doc put me on these 5 or 6 weeks ago and nothings changed so I'm not sure if they are for me ! Maybe I have just got a bloody actual illness!

@Mumma1984 I stopped caffeinated coffee/tea when I started sertraline at gp's suggestion - said it mimics anxiety so better to avoid even green tea (though coop's decaf green is just like the real thing to me). I've found that my coffee importer does do a good decaf so I can maintain my coffee snobbery - it's not quite the same, not oily, but a tasty drink. Your jittery feeling does sound like the caffeiney feeling?

Like @TrySleepingWithABrokenHeart I'm feeling an old version of me from about 12 years ago - it's astonishing. I am loving the little things again and excited about life. I'm not losing my rag all the time. I have still gotten quite down(meltdown) a couple of times, but seem to pull out quicker... and I'm able to try to see another viewpoint.

I've had an amazing week actually - was a big birthday, had a lovely time, just enjoyable. I mentioned I put in a job application this week - well, they came back to me with a suggestion of a different more exciting job! I have to apply but will have outcome within 10 days and if I get it my current boss will release me before Xmas. So I am utterly gobsmacked and hope it works out! Difficult colleague has been lovely and we are working well again so I'm hoping that can stay while I finish up.

@MonnaLiza hope you're enjoying your weekend. I'll be thinking of you on Tuesday - new starts are good, I love them - maybe I have more of an issues with sticking... I stayed in my first job for 10 years but since then I've not had more than 2.5 years in one role... maybe that's more normal?

@ThingDoer so it's a caffeine interaction with the Setraline? Because I never had it before I started taking it? I also am wondering if these pills are right because next year I want to try for a baby and u can't take them while you are pregnant :(

I'm just not feeling any benefit yet :( I'm as worried about MS as I always was

Day 32 (week 5) 50mg

Weeks 3 and 4 saw improvements but this past week has been hard. I've resigned myself from a situation that has been one cause of a surge in my anxiety recently. I have lost quite a bit of weight - I just don't feel like eating.

I'm wondering if this is a blip or if I should ask to up my dose?

@Mumma1984 I'm feeling jittery still on and off. Really quite jittery tonight. Am in week three. Intrusive thoughts are better in last few days but felt weird yesterday morning and previous night...like familiar things were oddly unfamiliar like I wasn't quite there. My PMS has just been awful last few years though so am contending with that at the moment too. I get incredibly forgetful, tired and just feel really weird.
@ThingDoer so glad that you're feeling good...looking forward to seeing if I get that by the end of first month
@TrySleepingWithABrokenHeart sorry you've gone down a bit again...I'm definitely very up and down. I don't think I've had more than a couple of good days in a row. Generally it seems one up, one down. It's not even whole days, it's like from part way through one day to part way through the next...

Hi @jogalong glad to hear you are doing well - my GP told me that it is customary to keep taking sertraline for 612 months from when one starts feeling better because it sort of 'reprogrammed' your neural pathways and stops depression from recurring so if I were you I would not worry about having several months on it prescribed. I will be on it at least until March.

Hi @bettycat81 - days 32-35 were hard for me as I mentioned - hang on in there and ask your GP, I believe that you need to wait 6-8 weeks to see if the does needs to be upped, it may be that you are still adjusting.

Hi @TrySleepingWithABrokenHeart - I felt sort of wobbly from day 15-30 with some downs around day 30-35 but a really strong improvement again at day 40-42, hopefully that will come for you too

@Mumma1984 I also get the jittery feeling if I drink strong coffee and symptoms that mimic anxiety. It's a shame as I love coffee but it makes me feel awful.

Happy belated birthday @Thingdoer and GO YOU! for these wonderful job news - finger crossed for you :)

Ok so must report on days 50-51-52

I'd say I am ok but getting up if I do not have a reason to do so is very hard. I just want to hide from life. A bit grey. If there was a way that I could just stay in my bed and watch Netflix for a month I'd do it. But I know it's the illness talking and I'll beat this fucker.

@MonnaLIza All the best for tomorrow!

And thank you for the birthday wishes. I'm having a good week , hope yours is too.

Hello everyone. I hope I can join this thread. I've been watching for a while but not quite had the courage to post. I was prescribed sertraline about 6 weeks ago and have tried 3 times to take them but not got past 2 days anytime. This time I have taken 2 tablets so far and really worried about taking the next one.
I feel so sick, its bringing back all my memories of the hyperemesis I suffered in my last two pregnancies. My face hurts because I keep clenching my jaw and that is giving me a headache. And my anxiety is really severe, tight chest, panicky, racing heart feeling. I feel really weird and foggy and jittery. But the nausea is the worst. I'm really struggling with it and its stopping me being able to eat or drink enough or take my thyroxine because I'm so worried I'm going to be sick.

I've been considering trying this.

Has anyone who has been on it found it affects their creativity?

Hi @HyperemesisandPND that sounds really difficult. Totally understand why you are scared. Could you GP not give you one that doesn't cause nausea? Are you taking it with plenty to eat? I was getting all the other symptoms you describe anyway as part of my anxiety but they will go away. I didn't get severe nausea tho thankfully.

@calmama no I don't think so...I've not heard anyone say that, although I guess you may not necessarily notice unless you were trying to do something creative? Are you in that line of work? Anxiety and depression can obviously affect creativity anyway so probably best to take a chance on Sertraline? It doesn't act like diazepam or that type of drug so there's no reason why it would after maybe initial side effects

@calmama yes, I'm much more creative now iMm on it! As pp said, depression and anxiety sap creativity...

@Hairydogmummy I have to write for my job. Despite having done this for years and years I struggle with it. And struggle to accept it’s reasonable quality. I suspect this is wrapped up in my lack of self-confidence. But I also write creatively for myself. I’ve heard some medications blunt that so don’t want that to happen.

@ThingDoer That’s positive! What do you do creatively? How and when did you find things improving for you in that respect once you started on sertraline (if you don’t mind me asking).

@calmama I'm sure you're doing fine with your writing...it's probably just your anxiety telling you it's not good and you're struggling. Anxiety makes you constantly question and overthink, reducing your capacity to think clearly and rationally. It steals your joy...I honestly think that will be your problem. I'm not particularly creative myself, well possibly on and off but I definitely don't think I could've when I'm anxious. Getting that improved with medication or something else would help I'm sure.