Just had my first session of counselling.

[Phycadelicsilhouette]

I just wanted to share as I don’t know who I’d share with in real life.
I’ve had my first session of counselling today and I’m feeling so positive about it.
I felt beyond low and was having allot of suicidal thoughts just 2 months or so ago and pushed myself to sign back up to a service I’ve previously had CBT with.
They decided counselling is the way forward and I couldn’t agree more after today.
I was assigned a male councillor which I felt immensely uncomfortable about but didn’t want to be picky or rude so went with it and I felt so much more comfortable with him than I thought I would.
I talked and cried and he listened. I learnt things about myself. I went in with a brave face and came out feeling more open and vulnerable but ok with it. I wasn’t able to cry properly during CBT but today has shown me that I have already grown since then and will able to do so much more over the course of sessions.
I urge anyone feeling like they need help to reach out for it.
I’m almost certain that this will be tough at times but I’m so glad I’ve done it!
Sorry if this post seems a bit pointless but I just wanted to share with someone.

Thank you for sharing your experience Phycadelics

Your post was not pointless at all - we hear so much negative stuff, that it's good to hear the positives as well.

Best wishes for the future counselling sessions!

Thank you 😊
It feels strange that I’m looking forward to it even if it hurts but also shows me that I’m ready for this.

@@Phycadelicsilhouette
Thank you thank you thank you !
I've had in front of me for over two weeks the leaflet my GP printed off . I've ummed and arrred about ringing them as I thought there was no point. But I've just read your post and felt more confident. I've rung and left a message.
It would be great to hear how you get on as the weeks go by. X

Great post OP. I think a lot of people have an image of counselling and dismiss it so it's really positive to know it's already helped you. I really hope you continue to feel better as the sessions continue.

@MrsGaryLightbody I’m so happy to hear you’ve called them! It’s made me well up actually! I expect I’m feeling highly emotional at the moment (but it feels good?!) but also so happy that by sharing it’s helped you to push forward.
I can’t even begin to explain how lost and low I was feeling. For me there was no other option but to try and help myself.
I felt the same as you even up until this morning. I wondered what the point was and would they think I was just wasting their time and see me as taking up other people’s worthwhile space but I feel so differently after having been.
I think the key is opening up. Being honest. Trying to let go and have faith in the person you’re sat talking to. (All of which feels very alien to me and is something I have never been able to do so quickly with anyone before.)
I will come back to the post as time goes by I expect but I just feel that now is my time to let go of all the past hurt and sadness and move forward into a happier healthier mind.

I've had 4 sessions with a counsellor. I've found it really helpful. Much better than other 'treatments' I've had.
You have to be honest and prepared to open up, which is difficult for some people.
I've learned a lot about myself and can see how my thinking has led to anxiety.

I started counselling this week too.
My counsellor is amazing.
I ended the session feeling drained, but she managed to get me to open up so much and was so supportive and listened to me.
I'm really looking forwards to my next session. As you said, I have no doubt that this will be difficult at times, but I feel this is what I need to do to get better.

Lovely posts op, thank you, it's good to hear about other people's positive experiences when the internet can be so full of the opposite. I toast your bravery!

Not that I want to hijack but where do I start looking for a good counsellor? I went to my gp about 18 months ago to ask for recommendations (& made clear I was happy to go private & pay) but she just raised an eyebrow and said she didn’t know of anyone locally😔...she made me feel like an idiot and I lost my nerve...but having read your post (& currently being in a right rut) I want to try again and obvs it’s not something I want to ask anyone in real life!...where do I start?

blinking you can self refer to minds matter. I went through them and then I had them refer me to big white wall, which allows me to have Skype counselling, so I don't even have to leave home.

@Limensoda it sounds like things are going really well for you! How many sessions will you have and have you gone private or through the NHS?
@HerRoyalFattyness well done! I’m glad you’ve clicked with your councillor, I have surprised myself so much. I really didn’t think I would be able to open up to a man (I know I sound awful and judgemental I just didn’t think it would be possible) but I really feel as though I trust him and that things will go well.
I’m usually very wary and find it hard to open up without having known someone for a while and growing to trust them but I found myself sat talking about things I’ve never spoken about and crying which I tried so hard not to do during my CBT and I also didn’t think would feel so.... Ok?
I hope your next session goes well, how often will you have them and for how long?
@dudsville thank you for your kindness I have surprised even myself. I don’t know what it was that allowed me to be free and open up and decide to trust him but I’m so grateful for how it went. I think it hugely depends on how the “patient” (not sure if that’s the correct term) is feeling and perceiving things too.
@Blinkingblimey hijack away! I hope I can help! I started a while back by going to the gp when I was feeling very anxious and depressed and started experiencing physical choking due to anxiety. I wanted to try what I could before medication (just a personal preference. Different things work for different people) and I was only offered medication and given a leaflet about a talking service. I called them and then received an amazing amount of CBT from a lovely therapist but I found myself again struggling hugely with many things including suicidal thoughts so went back to re-referred myself to the same service which my previous CBT therapist thought would be a good idea at the time I did the CBT.
I was very reluctant but knew I needed help.
I had an assessment appointment and they decided that counselling was the way forward and then I just had to wait for a call to tell me when there was a space.
What area do you live in if you don’t mind me asking? I only ask as there is a service that runs across my own city and one next to me and I’ve found them to be fantastic but don’t know the services offered in other places although I’m sure there will be services available.

Oh, actually having just googled minds matter might just be a Lancashire thing
It might be worth googling to see if there is a mental health service you can self refer to near you.

@HerRoyalFattyness thats amazing! The service I have gone through is called talking change and their other city name is italk although I believe it’s the same organisation. I’m in Hampshire. I really do recommend them but I’m not sure they offer the Skype option.

Phycadelicsilhouette
I'm glad you've clicked with your counsellor too. It's so important to have a good relationship with them.

I have 9 sessions, but I can choose when I have them and how often.

It's not Skype as such, just a video call thing, but it feels weird typing that
The big white wall is also a forum and they run free online workshops.

Well done XX keep going

Yay 😊 this is a great thread and I'm interested in finding a good therapist too😊

Oh op it's so nice to read something positive on the MH board. Having been through CBT and counselling myself I get what you mean about the opening yourself up thing. I hid behind a fake smile for at least 2 sessions!

@HerRoyalFattyness yours sounds great! I love that we can share on here different options for people that may be looking for help.
Skype makes sense lol.
Yes I feel so lucky for this opportunity to help myself and just so surprised at how comfortable I felt.
@GrumpiestCat thank you I’m very aware it might not feel this good after every session but I will stick with it and work at it and I have no doubt it will help to make me a stronger person.
@bombomboobah I would have a google for what’s in your area. Mental health services are improving and I think most areas offer an NHS service nowadays. There may be a wait but it’s worth it in my opinion.

I would definitely go the Skype route, so much more convenient for everyone involved!

@lemonysherbet I think that’s how I went in today and he saw through it somehow and asked questions and somehow I just opened up.
My CBT therapist was fantastic but I don’t think I gave myself into it as much as I should have. I did the best I could at the time but life was throwing up some really tough stuff at the time and my head just wasn’t in the right place.
I felt and feel guilty that I wasted her time and didn’t do as well as I should have but it was her that has helped me to get to where I am now.

@bombomboobah I would imagine easier to let go and open up when you’re sat in the comfort of your own home too!

I think I felt like that after with CBT but looking back it has helped. It helps me to remind myself not to beat myself up inside and step back from the overthinking. As like you at the time I had so much going on. Something so simple but it's made me be much kinder to myself.

Blinkingblimey- If you look up the BACP and BABCP's websites they have lists of counsellors accredited by themselves, which ensures you find one whose practice is to a reasonable standard.

@44Phycadelicsilhouette

My son arranged counselling for me through his work.
He and his wife rely on me for childcare while they work so when I got ill it caused them problems. His Company HR or occupational health?...arranged it through Nuffield Health. Company insurance probably pay it.
Not sure how much it costs them but I get six one hour sessions.
The NHS don't offer anything as good as far as I know, and the wait for CBT is ridiculous. By the time you get help you probably get worse!
There are counsellors in my area who charge about £70 an hour I think.