Feeling hopeless

[Hopeless20]

Previous poster but have name changed. Just feeling completely low and hopeless. Been suffering with this current episode of severe depression since April although have had reoccurring episodes since I was a teenager. Each episode of depression seems to last longer and longer each time. Have had numerous medication changes over the years, am currently taking mirtazapine at its highest dose and quetiapine at 150mg but seems to be having little or no effect. Not sure what I’m actually posting for, think I just needed and outlet to vent.

Have you been offered any counselling or other therapies?

I have done cbt in the past but never found it very helpful, counselling I haven’t done because I don’t actually have any particular problems as such to talk about and when depressed I don’t usually actually want to talk to anybody. My depressions aren’t due to anything in particular, no past trauma etc they just always come on out of the blue which can sometimes be harder to deal with because I feel like if I had an actual reason behind it I could talk and work through it if that makes sense. My CPN has said with me it’s more biochemical, nothing seems to trigger it. Longest time I have ever gone with the depression being in remission is almost a year. It just gets tiring fighting it. You get better, pick up the pieces from the last episode, get your life back on track again and then boom crash back into a deep depression and the cycle begins again.

I did hear that Stephen Fry suffers similar to you, and also Alistair Campbell. I think both have written books about it. Perhaps reading up on it could help?

Alistair Campbell did a documentary, 'Depression and me'
I heard it is good. He believes that there is no reason for his.