Anxiety

[FrozenMargarita17]

I feel so horribly anxious today that I'm really struggling.

Does anyone want a chat? I really need some company or distraction.

Hi, I’m sorry to hear you’re suffering.

I have anxiety, which isn’t consistent at all, I’ve had quite a few good weeks behind me but have been slipping back into it for a few days now.

Always happy to chat.

@Malibucyprus thank you for replying. Yes I'm the same - I can go for weeks without anything and certain things set it off. I know exactly why I have it right now, and I can't do anything about the circumstances so I'm having to just try and ride it out :(

Do you want to talk about what's making you anxious? Or would you rather be distracted?

I find watching loads of naff videos on Instagram distracts me. I'll watch cats, dogs, cooking, cake icing, anything really that can take me out of my own head.

I was doing really well with an over the phone CB therapist, I had my last but one appointment a few weeks back, all of my scores were coming down (she asks me questions and marks me outta 30) I'd gone from 27 - 11, so she said she'd give me a month before my last appointment, as I was doing so well, but I have a feeling I'll be back up into the 20's when we next speak.

My husband is away in a potentially dangerous place and contact with him is quite sporadic. I have come back to my mums with my 20m old dd and ddog for two weeks - not because I need help, just to see some people etc (we live 2 hours away usually).

My problem is I've spent all morning doing sudoku which calms me, scrolling mumsnet and watching make up/cake icing videos on Instagram and now I feel like it's not working !

How about taking the baby and dog for a walk? Clear your head a little bit.

I won't tell you not to worry because you will anyway, but try and set yourself goals when you won't worry at all. Sounds silly, but I now have to set myself worry time, where I force my worries from my head until 4pm, then I allow myself 30 mins of worry each day.

Maybe say to yourself "right for the next 5 mins, I won't let bad thoughts enter my head" see how that goes, and gradually increase the time.

Yeah I could do. I need to get her dressed as she got beans all over the last outfit.

I heard from my husband but I'm so anxious and sad I wasn't very fun on the call. But at least I know he's there and he's ok. Feel guilty now!

I'll give that a go, thank you

How are you feeling today?

I was better this morning, I went out with dd and met my sister in law. Dd had fun. Now I'm back it's all flooding back. I hate that it's so temporary!

Are you on any medication to help? I have terrible anxiety that rears its ugly head from time to time but is always there in the background. I have started on propranolol which I've been on before, it's a beta blocker so doesn't treat the cause of the anxiety but treats the horrible side effects such as racing heart and panicky feelings. So far I'm amazed it's really helping.

@bobstersmum no I don't take any medication at all. I've always been a bit frightened of it

Propranolol is good to try then op, as it doesn't mess with your head in any way, it literally just slows your heart rate down to stop that crazy overdrive type of thing. Don't suffer, there really is help out there for you.

Thank you. I've just moved to a new area so I'm a bit anxious to go the new gp (I have white coat syndrome and I panic hugely in any healthcare/dentist situation).

I did Zumba tonight (my friend is the instructor) and I felt good while doing it.

Is anyone there? I've had a really awful afternoon :(

I'm here op! What's been happening today?

My dd fell in the pond at my mums house. I had gone in to plug my phone in - I took a photo of her through the window at 15:04 and when I came back out, she was in it and was on her back swimming (she was taught this at baby swimming and I was amazed she remembered). I ran over and grabbed her out. It was awful. And my dh is uncontactable. I went into 'fix it' mode and took her clothes off, put her in the bath (photo at 15:10 of this which shows how small amount of time she was in there) and then got her out and dried her and gave her big cuddles. Then I got upset at what could have happened. It was so awful.

Wow that must have been scary, and it would stress out anyone! But she is fine! Thank goodness. Why is your dh not answering, is this normal?

He's currently away in a country where communication is sporadic - I really needed him today. There's a big time difference as well. He'll see my messages when he wakes up I'm sure. I feel so awful and I know she's ok I just feel so bad for her.

I'm struggling because he's away in this amazing once in a lifetime place, seeing beautiful mountains and rivers etc, with a bunch of beautiful, well travelled and interesting people and here I am, dealing with the tantrums, dirty nappies and now her falling into the pond and me feeling guilty. It's a stark contrast right now.

Thank you for replying btw x

Anxiety is so horrible. I really sympathise. I’ve suffered for years but recently I had a bad time with it and went to the dr to ask for beta blockers.

I have propranolol but don’t take it very often. Funnily just having it in my bag makes me feel a little better.

I also listen to podcasts to distract me if my head is waffling on. I’ve also realised anxiety lies to me. It tries to tell me things that are a load of rubbish so I am slowly learning to try and challenge that way of thinking. It’s really hard though, especially if it’s that underlying anxiety that you can’t quite get to the root cause.

Thank you @LokisLover I think it's so hard for me to figure out what is anxiety and what is just me.

And it's only certain things that make it come out this bad. I go through periods of being ok, or just having underlying anxiety about small things.

Did they give you the medication easily?

Also when I’m feeling anxious I am so much harder on myself about everything.

I’m not really sure I’m helping but I do understand how you are feeling.

I went in and asked specifically for it. I did a little research and knew I didn’t want anything that would make me feel woozy or be a nightmare to come off.

No it is helping to know it's not just me. And you're right - I struggle with myself all the time, I absolutely LOATHE the way I look and I find I constantly put myself down all day, and it's an underlying almost commentary about how fat/ugly/useless I am. I struggle with guilt about dd. And I'm really missing my husband but I'm also so jealous of him and I was angry at him earlier for not being there when I needed him.

I will always be an anxious person, it’s just in my make up and there are times when I think ‘why am I anxious’ and it’s not until
I can look back rationally can I put it a little in perspective.

Yes I understand that. I have always been anxious too. I think things have definitely amplified since I had dd. I had pnd too. I feel like I'm out of that, but some days I think nope I'm not.