I'm back because I can't go one alone right now

[DumbledoresGirl]

Please, anyone who wants to say "I knew you would be back before the end of the summer", please could you bottle it? Thanks.

I am back because I am having such a hard time with my phobia again right now and I need to see some kindly faces.

Please offer me some support now if you know me and know my phobia. I am suffering in hell right now.

Hi DG, I am afraid I don't have msn, which is a shame as we are both in the same boat this week. I might look into getting it but without DH I have slim chance of figuring out new technology!

It is easy (says she who had her brother help her get started originally!) You go to msn.com or something similar and sign up for messenger. I am not forcing you, but just letting you know you don't have to know much to get started.

I am feeling nervous again Ds2 had a headache when he went to bed. I know, it is just a headache, but even so...

Sorry you are feeling nervous . I hope DS stays asleep. Maybe his head hurts from the weather. It was quite warm today.

I have spent most of this evening cleaning the house from top to bottom to keep busy and to keep DD healthy as she is at the crawling stage and finds it hilarious to lick the floor .

I will go and have a look at the MSN site.

I have looked for you (nothing else to do right now but worry). If you go to www.msn.com and click at the top of the page where it says messenger, you get another page and on the left hand column is something like Join now. Click there and you are away.

Not that I am pushing you at all!

DG - the stuff you said about how you could cope with it before children - being a teacher, going out, is really really good - maybe hold onto that as you should be really proud of yourself! Dp would be a great teacher and it's one of the things she'd love to consider now ds2 is getting older, but her phobia is stopping her from even being able to contemplate it seriously at the moment. She doesn't like going out later in the evenings - at pub throwing out time for example and in lots of smaller ways this horrible phobia gets in the way of doing 'ordinary' things.

So hold on to your previous triumphs and you're right, your children are getting older and hopefully more able to start looking after themselves - not when really ill, but maybe enough to get themselves to the bathroom if they need to - especially the older ones? Although we've never talked about it, ds1 kind of 'knows' that when he's feeling poorly he goes to the bathroom and can more or less sort himself out - I'm obviously there as soon as we know he's not well, but if I wasn't, I think dp would be able to hover outside at the horrible moments. And he's only 5.

Sorry - it's not easy reading, but maybe practically speaking your children need to know that sometimes they might have to do some bits of being ill on their own (if your dh is away). It's very tricky because you don't want to pass your fear on. Sigh. Sorry if this is a hard message to read - thinking of you.

Bl**dy computers. I went to MSN.com. I clicked messenger. I clicked join. I registered my e-mail. It directed me to the UK site. The page was totally blank. Explorer crashed. I repeated this exact sequence three times . I genuinely don't think it is me being a luddite (for once) - something seems to be wrong with the msn.co.uk site. I need DH!!!!!

Ah ArtichokeTagine, I am sorry it is not working for you. Maybe if you just started at msn.co.uk you wouldn't have the problems? But ultimately, if you want to leave it, don't worry. I know I didn't get onto msn initially as dh wouldn't show me how to do it and made out that joining msn would ruin everything on his computer (not so!) It was only with some MN girls egging me on and the fact that my brother was staying with me at the time that I ever got started at all.

Dottydot, your ability to understand this phobia is uncanny, except, as you said, your partner has it. But yes, it was quite hard reading your post and even harder trying to decide if I can post an answer! I am never sure what my children can manage as they are rarely ill. I am not sure they would recognise the signs iykwim. Enough said!

Def something wrong with msn. If I go straight to msn.co.uk the page is blank as soon as I click on messenger. Same thing even if I access from my hotmail homepage.

I hope you have a good night DG. I am sure DS will be fine.

I have just tried going to msn.co.uk and once I clicked on return, I was automatically connected to msn.com.

I am with you: giving up on technology.

Oh well, it was a nice idea. I hope you are OK tonight and until dh gets back. I am off to cuddle my hot water bottle.