Worried about DS

[Hearthurts]

I'm just after some advice to anyone who has been through similar.
DS is 20 and up until last week I thought he was happy with life, has a good job and goes out with friends.
I bumped into his ex last week, they are still friends, she said she has seen him recently a few times, he's been crying, saying he can't go on. She thinks he needs help. she said another one of their friends has also been having heart to hearts with him and they don't know what to do as he's so down.
I'm just devastated, he has seemed happy at home. How can I have missed this? I've cooked him tea tonight and asked him if he's ok, he insists he's fine. He's been in his room ever since watching tv. Doesn't even want to come down to watch footy.
Also,to add, in the summer I found some drawings he had done. They were very macabre, daggers, death, phrases from songs about love and death.
I'm so worried, I don't know what to do.

So sorry to hear this. It's likely that the friends are seeing a different side of him to you. Talk to your GP maybe?

Thanks for replying numbers His ex was always one for making a mountain out of a molehill but he does seem quiet tonight. I've casually mentioned that as he always seems cold and tired maybe he could go to the GP for a blood test in case he needs iron or something. He said no way. I can't just take him to the GP like he's 10, mores the pity.

Could you be more direct with him OP? Tell him that you're worried about him. Tell him what's been said. Let him know you're there for him and you'll go to the GP with him if he wants you to.

jiltedjohn thanks. I'm thinking that I will have to sit him down and say something. He's usually very outgoing and confident, I just want that person back.
He denied anything was wrong earlier. I dont really want to bring his ex into this yet, it feels like I'm betraying him.
Bit of background, she dumped him 2 years ago totally out of the blue. He was heartbroken then and I spent several nights sat on his bed with him crying his eyes out. They've since seen each other through mutual friends and I think he would still go back with her if the opportunity arose.
Also of note, his grandad died around the same time which also knocked him for six as they were very close.

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Hi again. Have you had any more thoughts about talking directly to your son, addressing what others have said? My DS was very willing to let me go to the doctor with him and explain what he'd told me. I think he was relieved to have someone else take on the task.

Hi, I sat him down with a cuppa tonight and said I know something is bugging him and he's not his normal self. He just says he's ok but I know he's not.

Hi, how are things?

So sorry I didn't reply,
DS kept insisting he was fine so I let it drop and he seemed like his old self again. But last night he scared me. He had been out with friends, got home 8ish and said ex was coming to stay the night.I said fine but then I said did he remember how bad she treated him and why is he seeing her again?
(totally none of my business I know but I was the one sat with him at night while he cried his eyes out after she dumped him)
Well he flipped, became so angry, ripped up a bag of shopping, threw things screamed etc. I was so scared.
He calmed down and broke down saying he's bored of his life, his friends are boring, he would rather be dead nobody loves him, everyone moans, everyone makes him angry etc etc
we hugged, he apologised. I said I think he needs to speak to the GP. he's adamant he's not speaking to anyone, doesn't want pills.
Ex is here now so I've left them to chat.
I feel better that he's opened up a bit but I'm worried sick.
He did apologise for making me cry, the shopping, and scaring the dog

Has anyone got any advice please?! I'm totally lost