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Mental health

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Original poster

I dont think I can do this..

53 replies

Electroma · 02/07/2007 23:33

Basically - long story short - I live with my parents and my DS, 2.6.

They have gone on holiday.

I have never been alone with him (i mean for lengths of time) never slept in the house alone with him. After i split with his dad, i moved here and have not been alone before.

I;ve never lived alone either, and I cant do this.

I am scared, keep getting to the brink of panic attacks, then i am freaking myself, its getting worse. I can hardly breathe.

It is only the second night. I dont know what to do. I cant do this for two weeks.

someone please help me

OP posts:

tutu100 · 02/07/2007 23:35

It's going to be ok. You are doing really well. You have done one night already.

It will get easier as the nights go by. What is it you are worried about?

TooTicky · 02/07/2007 23:35

What are you scared of?

ELF1981 · 02/07/2007 23:37

The first night is always the hardest.
I'm terrible when I am by myself. I have only had to sleep in the house once by myself and I remember being worried.
What is worrying you the most - being alone with your ds by yourself, or being alone full stop if you see what I mean?

Original poster

Electroma · 02/07/2007 23:37

everything. i am freaking out and scafred. what if something happens? there is noone here to help me.

I have been suffereing badly from panic attacks for the last year and a half or so, i;m getting through it myselof, very slowly.

I;m not ready for this. i am freaking out

OP posts:

TooTicky · 02/07/2007 23:39

Would it help to keep a phone by your bed? Not that you'll need it.

TooTicky · 02/07/2007 23:39

I find I am braver when I am with my children.

Original poster

Electroma · 02/07/2007 23:41

phone is beside me. i cant sleep. i was awake til 5am last night and then was too tired to do anything with ds today. poor lad ran about in pyjamas all day.

i feel so so awful about it but i had no energy from 2 hours sleep.

i cant live alone with him for 2 weeks. im not strong enough

OP posts:

tutu100 · 02/07/2007 23:42

I also hate being alone in the house at night. I keep as many lights on as possible and have a phone next to the bed. You will be ok. Have you been taught any breathing excersizes for when you are panicking.

Is there a friend who could come and stay with you?

runkid · 02/07/2007 23:42

elactoma you will be fine nothing is going to happen i have been there myself. the panic attacks dont help you just need to try and relax

Original poster

Electroma · 02/07/2007 23:43

i know nothing will happen, but i cant help panicking. i panick most that i might die (i get that a lot) but this would be worse, noone would be here to find him. he would have to fend for himself. hed be locked in his room, he would die of starvation or cold or something. i cant handle this.

OP posts:

TooTicky · 02/07/2007 23:45

Do you have a friend who can check up on you each morning? Not that anything will happen, just to give you peace of mind.

runkid · 02/07/2007 23:45

you wil not die i used to panic for the same reason. try doing some deep breathing and positive thinking you will get through this

tutu100 · 02/07/2007 23:47

Got to go and do the washing up, but will check to see how you are doing before I go to bed.

Keep posting on here to take your mind off things.

runkid · 02/07/2007 23:47

have you got a mate who could stay with you perhaps

Original poster

Electroma · 02/07/2007 23:49

thank you

i know it is totally ridiculous and unfeasable. i know

but its in my head, and im having dreams.. its awful.

really awful.

i have some friends who call em regularly, but i have only really confided fully in one, and he cant come and stay as its miles from his work.

OP posts:

Original poster

Electroma · 02/07/2007 23:51

i cant last two weeks.

OP posts:

runkid · 02/07/2007 23:51

its scary i no its just your mind playing tricks on you. it is awful to go through but you will get there you and your son will be ok.

runkid · 02/07/2007 23:53

you can do it you sound like a fighter to me

Original poster

Electroma · 02/07/2007 23:53

how can i do this for 2 weeks?

what will i do? we cant sit in the house for 2 weeks? i dont even have the energy or will to get either of us washed or dressed.

after i out him to bed i realised i hadnt even brushed his teeth today.

i am the worst mother ever. he doesnt deserve to be treated like this

OP posts:

TooTicky · 02/07/2007 23:54

Take it one day at a time. Don't think about it as two weeks. Anyway, it's not 2 weeks now, you've already done one night.
Can you plan busy days to make sure you are tired ayt night?
Avoid caffeine if you don't already.

runkid · 02/07/2007 23:55

Have you tried anything to stop the panic attacks i bought a great book it really helps to understand why you feel the way you do

TooTicky · 02/07/2007 23:55

Hey, you are not a bad mother. You're just having a tough time. It's obvious from your posts that you really care about your little boy.

Original poster

Electroma · 02/07/2007 23:56

what is the book? anything to help me. anything.

i cant go to doc or classes. have tried (have written other thread on this)

tooticky - it is hard to do things in the daytime as i have no car, weather is REALLY bad here, heavy, heavy rain.

And i dont have much money..

OP posts:

TooTicky · 03/07/2007 00:00

Go to the library - you might find books that will help you. Spend some time there with your ds - its a nice (free!) way to get out of the house. Most libraries have nice children's areas these days.
Whereabouts are you? (roughly)

Original poster

Electroma · 03/07/2007 00:01

edinburgh

i dont even have a library card.

OP posts:

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