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Mental health

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Original poster

Unsure what to do - Dh appears to be sinking into madness (psychosis, depression, suicide)

74 replies

DeadZed · 07/09/2018 22:18

No idea how to help anymore. Dh has been mentally unwell for over twelve months now but over the last two months he has really got so much worse. His episodes of psychosis are longer, more frequent and worryingly he is acting on the things he hears and sees in his false reality. Its like he is getting further away from me and I am seeing less of him. Honestly it feels like he is slipping into a speeded up version of dementia. He admitted tonight when he was lucid that he was so frightened of how ill he is and that he will never get back.

Today he went out without telling me and phoned me to say he was lost. Took me 35 minutes to find him. He was convinced it was 2005. I am always on edge, wondering how to deal with the next episode, how to shield the dcs, how to keep dh safe. It feels too much.

We saw the psychiatrist this week finally and I am seriously hoping the new prescription will help him.

OP posts:

granadagirl · 07/09/2018 23:38

It will take st least 4-6 weeks for meds to get into his system
He may also suffer side effects from new meds, so these need to settle before an increase.

You need to tell psych about this last episode, not knowing where he was and the year, can you ring him/her.
He will get better, but unfortunately it takes a good few months.

Original poster

DeadZed · 08/09/2018 08:21

Thanks for replying.

I am planning to ring the cpn on Monday. He has at least one episode a day, some are worse than others.

He has been this ill for around six weeks now. When we first met with the cpn they suggested he went in to hospital but he refused. He was sectioned once before and while he was in the staff didn't know how to manage his diabetes put him at serious risk. So because if this he refuses to go back. I support his decision for now.

I feel like I can't leave him for any length of time. It is very draining.

OP posts:

BeardedMum · 08/09/2018 08:22

It sounds like he should be in hospital to be honest.

rose69 · 08/09/2018 08:27

I sorry to hear what you are both going through. Could you talk to someone at the hospital about his diabetes to ensure that it would be managed correctly in case he did have to go in st a later stage.

PeridotCricket · 08/09/2018 08:27

Honestly for your sake and his it sounds like he should be in hospital till the meds kicked in...

erinaceus · 08/09/2018 09:21

I was thinking it sounds like it could be a hospital situation. Another option might be a crisis house if you have those in your area, or a day unit? I know some psychotropic medication can interact with diabetes, I would have thought with a clear plan to manage this aspect of his health would be needed.

Do you have any support for yourself? It sounds terribly stressful.

TubeTop · 08/09/2018 09:35

Ive been through similar with a close family member. When it got to the stage where I couldn't keep her safe anymore (sounds like you may be in this position) I called the Crisis Team which is the community home visiting part of mental health care in her area and told them "I can't keep her safe". I did it because I knew it would trigger a hospital admission.

So hard but the right thing to do for her and the rest of the family at the time.

Sending big love and moral support. This is so hard but it will get better x

Original poster

DeadZed · 08/09/2018 09:38

No, I am not receiving any support although the cpn did say I can phone her if I need anything.

As far as I know there is only the inpatient option although the cpn did suggest a different hospital. It is worrying as I feel we may get to a point where he has no choice if his behaviour deteriorates. He just gets so confused, the other day he went to his old workplace and got really up set because no one recognised him. He hasn't worked there for four years. Other times he asks to visit people who have died like he often insists he wants to visit my mum who died two years ago. It is all very distressing tbh.

OP posts:

RandomMess · 08/09/2018 09:41

If he is admitted will you be able to visit enough to monitor his diabetes?

Aridane · 08/09/2018 09:42

What medication has he been given?

Onemorewonthurt · 08/09/2018 10:06

Encourage an admission, op. I understand you're apprehensive about this because of his diabetes, but it sounds like it would be best for all of you.
Responding to hallucinations, getting lost and asking to see people who have passed away daily is too much for you to manage at home.
This is about your mental health too, and of course keeping him safe.

granadagirl · 08/09/2018 10:19

You must be very worried and stressed. If you don’t lean on the mh team for yourself and dh they will not keep an eye on him they are very over stretched the more you tell them the more help you will receive. You have to be quite voiceful!
As well as a cpn I think he should have home crisis team care.

Like previously mentioned there are crisis houses google your area depends where you live another option rather than hospital

Regards to his diabetes, if you make sure you tell them loud and clear about meds for it, it should be written in his notes .
It really sounds like he’s not safe to be left(and that must hurt you) but you need to be well also (don’t know if you have kids) it’s not going to be a quick fix unfortunately
He does sound in a bad way, and personally for yourself and him perhaps a stay in hospital/crisis house (ask cpn what’s available around not necessarily your town there maybe more options available elsewhere (do you drive, to visit)
Even the private mh hospital take nhs patients like the priory.

What area you in? Perhaps we could google for you?

Aridane · 08/09/2018 11:09

I think he really needs a hospital admission

HollowTalk · 08/09/2018 11:11

I would be too frightened of him harming himself or others, OP. He needs to be in hospital now.

I don't understand how a hospital couldn't take care of his diabetes.

granadagirl · 08/09/2018 11:52

Neglect ! If you don’t tell them straight to there face or see them write it down in notes you can’t be sure they get it.
Loads of mistakes are made in hospitals these days there over stretched

Op, you know now exactly what to look out for. Try to explain to dh that you won’t let this happen again as you both know now. This may give him a bit more confidence
You can always check his meds chart to make sure there given.

If you feel you’ve come to the end of your tether and are not happy with his state sit him down calmly and say the above that you will be there for him to make sure all is well and the same thing will not happen again you were both naive.

Have you got crisis team number, if he gets bad let them come out and access him 24/7 service. You could perhaps have that time then to chat to him and reassure him

Here if you need to vent or need help

Miladymilord · 08/09/2018 11:54

Does he actually have dementia?

I hate to say this but his behaviour sounds like my friends lovely wife who had CJD. Have physical causes been ruled out?

Original poster

DeadZed · 08/09/2018 12:20

He has been prescribed Aripiprazole most recent.

Yes, we have school age dc.

It is surprising regarding the hospital and their diabetic management. He was in the mental health unit and they were hopeless at managing his insulin and blood sugar. It was all in his notes but if the hospital doctor had written eg 30 units of insulin that is what he got with no reference to his blood sugar. Dh had a hypo at one point because staff wouldn't test his blood (not allowed to use his own kit) and it wasn't meal time so they couldn't give him any food. I ended up taking him lots of snacks to keep in his room.

RandomMess no, visiting hours were very restrictive so I couldn't be there (also couldn't take dcs). I honestly don't know which is worse at the moment, him being home or there.

Milady - I am wondering myself, he has some other long term health problems and I do wonder if something has been missed but realistically it is likely to be mental illness. I have a friend who cared for her dm through dementia and there are lots of similarities.

Thank you granadagirl I do feel we are getting to the point where we will have no choice about hospital.

OP posts:

granadagirl · 08/09/2018 12:49

No problem
I know how scared and worried you must be.
I have mh issues myself, nothing like your dh. Anxiety and bouts of depression
I know how hard it is just dealing with that ! And the pressure my dp feels st times because he can’t help me.

He’s obviously under secondary care, as you have psych input and cpn

Google around for smaller mh crisis houses or smaller hospitals, they may have open visits not like bigger hospitals.

You have to be quite forward and straight with mh services as they tend to leave family to deal with issues. So don’t hold back, I’m not saying be rude. Think you know what I mean, don’t just take what they dish out be pro active
It’s your health and dh we’re talking about, you need to be strong for your child,

Do the cpn it crisis team do visits at home?
Crisis will keep in touch or visit every day whilst suffering

granadagirl · 09/09/2018 12:47

Hi
How’s it been over the weekend?
Not to stressful for you I hope
Be kind to yourself also

Original poster

DeadZed · 09/09/2018 19:27

Hi, thank you for asking. The weekend has been pretty much the same as the last few days. Long periods where DH is confused and not able to have any kind of coherent conversation.
It is quite worrying tbh. I am going to phone the cpn tomorrow just to get some advice really.

I am supposed to be doing a full day at college on Tuesday but I am considering deferring this year as I know I can't leave DH for that long. I can't imagine what will happen as at the moment I can't leave him for ten minutes without him becoming agitated and confused. Unless there is a marked change in his illness I am not sure he can avoid hospital and part of me would be very relieved if it got to that point.

OP posts:

Bowlofbabelfish · 09/09/2018 19:34

Op, I echo the poster above who says this may be a sign of other conditions. He does need admitting but I’d be pressing for a physical assessment and investigation first. How well controlled is the diabetes? Blood pressure? Any signs of stroke? Any signs of vascular dementia etc. I think you really need to look at physical causes for the confusion etc - a lot of this behaviour sounds rather like it could be a physical cause.

How stressful for you

RandomMess · 09/09/2018 19:36

It really does sound as though something medical is going on and he needs to be assessed urgently.

Deferring may be the sensible option

Original poster

DeadZed · 09/09/2018 20:51

He has a GP appointment in Tuesday so I am going to ask if there may be any other things to consider that could cause the confusion.

Historically his diabetes has not been well controlled. He has diabetic neuropathy in most of his body now so much so he has cannot walk more than ten meters. Blood pressure is above average but not by too much.
I'm not sure what signs to look for. I am only going on what my friend went through when she nursed her mil with dementia. DH is 38 so very young but of course at very high stroke risk.

So, he will be perfectly normal, talking, making plans. And then he will lose focus and be staring into the distance, start asking questions like "what are we doing here," or (first time today ) "who are you?"

This lasts about two to three hours or him being completely confused, often thinking it is a different year (usually somewhere between 10 -15 years ago), being lost, anxious, unable to eat, making unusual noises (today was ticking like a clock). Then very gradual he returns to normal. Often he can remember some of the events but there are also big gaps in his memory.

OP posts:

RandomMess · 09/09/2018 20:56

granadagirl · 09/09/2018 21:02

Dito with getting him assessed?

Although he must of got assessed by the psych? What was her diagnosis of him?
Is he under secondary care mh team? Hence cpn and psych input.
You could see what cpn suggest, but you need to be firm with them and tell them your at the end of your tether and he’s not safe to be alone
You are unable to do that !!!
Please stress, as they will put the care on you unfortunately

I’d maybe also go back to gp and ask for other test?

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