Unsure what to do - Dh appears to be sinking into madness (psychosis, depression, suicide)

[DeadZed]

No idea how to help anymore. Dh has been mentally unwell for over twelve months now but over the last two months he has really got so much worse. His episodes of psychosis are longer, more frequent and worryingly he is acting on the things he hears and sees in his false reality. Its like he is getting further away from me and I am seeing less of him. Honestly it feels like he is slipping into a speeded up version of dementia. He admitted tonight when he was lucid that he was so frightened of how ill he is and that he will never get back.

Today he went out without telling me and phoned me to say he was lost. Took me 35 minutes to find him. He was convinced it was 2005. I am always on edge, wondering how to deal with the next episode, how to shield the dcs, how to keep dh safe. It feels too much.

We saw the psychiatrist this week finally and I am seriously hoping the new prescription will help him.

No advice but just wanted to offer some well wishes for you all. It must be unbelievably difficult for all of you.

During his lucid times does your husband have opinions about what you do?

I hope you find the help and support you need. Don't feel shy to ask people for help. I'm sure most people would to help out.

Good luck.

What do you mean HonestReally about During his lucid times does your husband have opinions about what you do?

When he is lucid he has some accurate recall of events although this seems to come a few hours later. He is getting more aware of when it is going to happen though preventing it is a different matter.

He just asks me to keep him safe. He is scared that things are going to deteriorate and he won't be able to keep himself safe. He is always very aware (afterwards) of the impact his illness is having on myself and the dc.

Just wanted to say good luck for today. I hope you get some answers, or at least that your GP will start asking the right questions.

Absence seizures (as a sufferer as part of my epilepsy) definitely worth looking into but mainly wanted to comment to say you sound INCREDIBLE.

Please look after yourself as well as those around you, or you will burn out. I can't imagine the pressure you are under and how it must feel to know you are on constant alert.

I'm in awe of your kindness and love for your family and will keep you in my thoughts - maybe the local mental health crisis team could be an alternative route, though I appreciate these vary from area to area.

Agree with poster who has just said you sound incredible, this must be taking a terrible toll on you and yet all your concern is for your dh. He is so lucky to have you.

Could you ask a friend to come and install a nanny cam or something like that when you are both out to try and record one of these episodes? I know it sounds a bit deceiptful but it might really help a psychiatrist/doctor diagnose what is going on and your dh won’t act differently (more frightened or paranoid) if he doesn’t know the camera is there. Once you have the footage you could explain to him what you have done and why.

He must be so frightened poor man and you too. I do hope things start to improve soon.

Deadzed*
"What do you mean HonestReally about During his lucid times does your husband have opinions about what you do?"

Sorry,that didn't make sense! I was wondering if your husband had an opinion on what should be done about getting him help.

Good luck today at gp, although 10-15 mins is not nearly enough time to explain things!
A double appt would of been longer.

If your very good at explaining symptoms, you should be ok. But
If not the baby monitor camera is an excellent idea or even your mobile to video

I know how scary it is for a grown up to be scared myself (I’m 60)
When in a bad space with anxiety/depression it so scary and extremely frightening thing I’ve ever had to deal with. Also very hard for family to deal/see .

As previously mentioned you need help, you can’t run house, dc, and watch dh 24/7. Burn out

You need to be strong verbally with
The cpn today, you need outside help. So be firm and say “he’s a risk
To himself “

Make sure your eating and getting enough rest.

I'm so sorry you are going through this and completely understand your valid concerns about the management of his diabetes in hospital. Does he have a DSN or consultant you could talk to about getting a proper protocol in place for the management of his diabetes while in hospital? Theoretically, there should be support for him if he needs to be an inpatient. I hope your GP appointment went/goes well today. I really, really feel for you. I use the #GBDOC on twitter and have lots of followers (some of whom are senior brass in diabetes). I can ask the question about how best to get the appropriate protocol in place anonymously if you would like me to?

@Deadzed I have been thinking of you today and hope that you have found a way forward with this

Thinking of you - have been in similar situation myself with OH.It is very very hard I know - I do hope you get some help soon.

Hi,

I just wanted to share something with you as reading your post I can relate to a lot of what you’re saying.

Very recently my brother has been through something similar. He is the kindest, most intelligent person you could ever meet. It started a while back he was just generally a bit forgetful, mild depression, that kind of thing.

More recently he had an ‘episode’ where he had a delusion and thought something was happening when it wasn’t. The police had to be called (he has two young children) and he was sectioned.

Unfortunately the unit let him out with a small prescription for anti depressants! He was determined to go back to work as normal despite everyone insisting he wasn’t right.

Fast forward a few weeks. He had a very serious phycotic episode which turned violent towards a family member (he is the least violent person you could ever meet). Extremely scary (I cry just thinking about it) luckily no one was hurt but he has been sectioned again and I hope they will be able to help properly this time. The problem we have at the moment is he doesn’t seem to understand that he is ill. Does your husband understand his illness?

His thoughts were all over the place and he was having all kinds of disturbing delusions/ paranoia.We are pushing for an MRI to rule out physical issues, because like you say, it is basically like dementia.

I just wanted to stress how important it is to get proper help straight away. It sounds like he needs to be admitted. I so wish we had pushed more the first time and not let it get this far, as something very serious could have happened.

I really hope you are able to get some help. I just want to say I’ll be thinking of you- it is horrendous what mental health can do. I never thought it would happen to my family but it really can happen to anyone. Please take care of yourself.

Hope alll is ok at home ? X

Also thinking of you and hoping you're getting support.

I'd also recommend videoing your OH when he's at his worst. My OH is also amazingly good at masking for health professionals, videos have been invaluable.

Please also seek support for yourself. I've been in your shoes x

Just a quick update - dh saw the gp and his GP was really open about investigating any physical causes although there is no denying there are some serious mental illness going on. Dh has finally started taking the anti psychotic medication. More blood tests next week and GP is organising a memory screening?

Things have been a little calmer this week although I have not had a full nights sleep as we are finding that around 4 to 5 am DH is having episodes where he wants to leave the house (often doesn't know why) or he is seeing animals and people that aren't real. It is quite distressing. He is still asking regularly if we can go and visit my mum (who died 2 years ago). It was a two and a half hour drive there so I am managing to dissuade him each time it crops up. It is a weird one really because my DM and DH were never good friends, in fact when I first got married my DM was very opposed to dh. The relationship settled over the years but it bugs me as to why he keeps asking to visit someone he didn't particulary get on with in real life? I can't let him go - it would be so upsetting to the man my DM was married to.

The cpn has referred me for a carer's assessment, not quite sure what that entails but we will see.

Promising update. Glad GP has ordered tests and you’re getting a carer’s assessment. That just means they will talk to you about what you’re doing for your DH atm and how you are coping, whether you need any support (which you do by the sounds!)

Hope you don’t have to wait too long for some answers.

I'm really pleased he's stated taking his medication

So sorry you are all going through this. I have a close family member with Type 1 and I dread him going into hospital for anything because - unless they are endochronology - nurses/docs and even consultants are spectacularly ignorant about the day to day management of diabetes. Does your husband attend a diabetes clinic? Does he have a Diabetes Specialist Nurse who could support any admission for his mental health - liase with the ward etc re safeguarding him from a diabetes point of view?

I hope him taking his meds helps. Great the GP is on board.

You are very strong. Just remember a hospital may be the best place for him, you & the DC

Op, my friends mum had a very specific type of dementia called Louie body dementia. The symptoms she experienced were seeing pets/people who had passed away years before and leaving the house. These periods were episodic. Worth asking your gp about? So sorry you are going through this xx

Sorry that should be Lewy, not Louie, stupid autocorrect.

Totally by chance I discovered a website about the type of dementia you refer to Geraldine. It sounded so much like dH ( seeing the small animals everywhere and seeing people ) and a very good friend of dh's mentioned his episodes sound like dementia so that was when we decided to approach the GP. The GP is brilliant and I feel like he is really trying everything he can to help dh.

Wow. You are certainly fulfilling your marriage vows, OP! Amazing.

Nothing to add to the advice, glad you have a smashing GP. Hope you get some answers soon

When I read your posts it really reminded me of this. I’m so sorry you and your husband are going through this, I hope you both get all the support you need

The coverage yesterday of diabetes errors in hospitals reminded me of your post and I wondered how you are getting on. Also to pass on Diabetes UK’s advocacy number as they may be able to help if he is ever looking at an admission to inpatient care again 0370 034 0783