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Mental health

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Original poster

Unsure what to do - Dh appears to be sinking into madness (psychosis, depression, suicide)

74 replies

DeadZed · 07/09/2018 22:18

No idea how to help anymore. Dh has been mentally unwell for over twelve months now but over the last two months he has really got so much worse. His episodes of psychosis are longer, more frequent and worryingly he is acting on the things he hears and sees in his false reality. Its like he is getting further away from me and I am seeing less of him. Honestly it feels like he is slipping into a speeded up version of dementia. He admitted tonight when he was lucid that he was so frightened of how ill he is and that he will never get back.

Today he went out without telling me and phoned me to say he was lost. Took me 35 minutes to find him. He was convinced it was 2005. I am always on edge, wondering how to deal with the next episode, how to shield the dcs, how to keep dh safe. It feels too much.

We saw the psychiatrist this week finally and I am seriously hoping the new prescription will help him.

OP posts:

Original poster

DeadZed · 09/09/2018 21:13

The psychiatrist assessed him and thought he had disassociation disorder? Or just psychotic episodes. Thought it wasn't schizophrenia or BPD. Was reluctant to say for definite though.

Where we are it is called the early intervention team.

OP posts:

Twillow · 09/09/2018 21:45

Gosh, how difficult this must be for you both. Has he been tested for urine infection, I know this can cause confusion in the elderly and more likely with diabetes?

Twillow · 09/09/2018 21:48

No experience of diabetes, but a quick google suggested this:

Altered Mental Status:
Altered Mental Status in persons with diabetes may include inattention, confusion, extreme lethargy, agitation, or unexplained irritability. All of these may be signs that the person has one of several things, including ketoacidosis, hyperosmolar hyperglycemia nonketotic syndrome, high blood sugar, or hypoglycemia. Any of these conditions require immediate medical attention.

granadagirl · 09/09/2018 22:05

Ditto urine infection????
FIL had this and was very very confused and went walk about
With a police search

Do a wee check and take it to gp surgery

Cardiganandcuppa · 09/09/2018 22:11

I think he needs to he seem through A&E for an urgent physical assessment tbh. This could be diabetes related and therefore would need a whole different treatment pathway.

NameChange30 · 09/09/2018 22:18

I agree with Cardigan. This sounds like an issue related to dementia or diabetes, and I think A&E would be a good call. Or at the very least an emergency GP appointment if the GP is likely to take your concerns seriously.

Also this must be taking a big toll on you, how stressful to be having to look after and worry about him to this extent while also having to be solely responsible for the DC Please don’t feel guilty about getting him admitted somewhere because that may well be the best option for all of you atm.

annandale · 09/09/2018 22:20

I think I would go via A&E too. I think decide on perhaps 2 messages and keep saying them until you get results.

I can't keep him safe at home.
He needs advice from the inpatient diabetes team.

Don't do anything subtle. Be sledgehammer clear and simple about what you say. If you absolutely have to (and obviously only once he has a staff member with him), say the messages one more time and then walk away and leave him there. I'm imagining, for example, a scenario where a staff member is assessing him and he is masking his symptoms in ways he has perhaps done many times before, answering standard questions very well etc, and they tell you that he's doing absolutely fine and can go home with you.

Original poster

DeadZed · 09/09/2018 22:46

In a way you are right Annandale, he is excellent at masking for short periods. So he can talk his way round most things. There have been rare occasions when others have seen him in the grip of the psychosis.

Going to a&e would be pointless I think because he would be sectioned under the mental health team. I don't know whether it is specific to our area but they only seem to cope with one health issue and cannot cope with physical problems too so sectioning wouldn't help if it is physical problem.

I am going to try and hold out to see the GP on Tuesday, mainly because we have a good relationship with him and he is an excellent GP. It is definitely worth waiting an extra day to see him if we can rather than taking a chance on who we would see in an emergency appointment.

OP posts:

Twillow · 09/09/2018 22:55

Can you call the gp out, perhaps ask him/her about this, to see DP in the grips of an episode?

annandale · 09/09/2018 22:55

But it sounds like he couldn't possibly be managed safely on a general medical ward. If he is psychotic and unsafe then whatever the cause surely sectioning could be the right outcome?

You will certainly need all your energy to make sure his physical issues are managed on a mh ward, i agree with you there, the disconnect seems to be huge.

It certainly sounds as if your GP would be tge right person to start with. My heartfelt best wishes to you both.

Original poster

DeadZed · 09/09/2018 23:10

twillow I've been trying for a long time to get a medical professional to see him at his worst. It's usually me, or a police officer when I've needed help. By the time you get through the system DH is returning to normal. It's been so difficult until more recently when he has deteriorated and is having almost daily episodes. There have been a few occasions where DH has accused me of making it all up because he remembers little and recovers so well.

I do appreciate being able to talk it through here. Thank you everyone.

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granadagirl · 09/09/2018 23:26

Agree a&e. Not the right place. Mh Ward will just deal with mh issues
And if it’s anything other they won’t get picked up!!

Gp would do other test. Ie water, (take one with you) bloods, diabetes etc
And as you have a good relationship with him that’s a great start.
You must stress,, that you want other things checking out.
You know your dh better than anybody else, so express your concerns and any changes you have seen in last 2 weeks.

Have you any family help?

Please don’t take it all on yourself, as you will become poorly also.
Lean on mh services strongly.

I used to have a care coordinator, who’d come an chat with me for an hour. Have you one?
So you could have a break for an hour. I know it’s not a lot .

Take care, my thoughts are with you. Stay strong,

Apileofballyhoo · 09/09/2018 23:29

An elderly relative of mine had a huge amount of confusion and I suppose what could be described as psychosis (e.g. thought he was in prison, not hospital) because his liver and kidneys weren't functioning properly and toxins were building up. Sometimes he was perfectly fine. I hope you have some success with your GP. It sounds like an appalling situation. Does your DH have any family?

PragmaticWench · 10/09/2018 07:38

Thinking about support for you and the DC, could you speak with your DC's school/s to let them know a certain amount of what is happening? There might be counselling available for them, or at least a teacher they can speak with if they need to.

Your GP might know of some support for you too.

thesandwich · 10/09/2018 07:44

No expert at all but would it be possible to record him saying some of this on your phone to support your case? And help your dh realise how unwell he is? So hard for you.

maxthemartian · 10/09/2018 09:39

The confusion really does sound to me like it might have it's roots in a physical issue. It's vital to at least have that ruled out.

Original poster

DeadZed · 10/09/2018 14:15

I've had an interesting conversation with DH this morning. He has some very clear memories of when he is having an episode, how everything feels right and he only feels panic when things start to slip back to the present.

I have contacted the DC schools and they are arranging some support for them which I am so relieved about.
I am also mentally compiling a list for the go tomorrow and I have booked an appointment with the cpn.

OP posts:

NameChange30 · 10/09/2018 14:32

That all sounds promising, well done so far and good luck for tomorrow. I suggest you write down your list for the GP.

Iizzyb · 10/09/2018 17:13

I have nothing to add to all that helpful advice but to you I hope you get some help tomorrow with the GP x

Cardiganandcuppa · 10/09/2018 18:38

There is so much that could be done to rule out physical causes without sectioning him. Bloods and urine for a start.

Bowlofbabelfish · 10/09/2018 18:43

Does he have any warning signs for when an episode is coming on? Get him to have a think about that and if there are any make sure GP knows that too.

Beyondtired123 · 10/09/2018 20:54

Hi....you mention that he has periods of lucidity and then zones out slowly coming back round and this has been progressing over time. That sounds very much like seizures...if this is the case he should have a brain scan. Hope it all goes well tomorrow.

PerspicaciaTick · 10/09/2018 21:00

Could you film any part of an episode to show to HCPs?

tickingthebox · 10/09/2018 21:07

A relative has absence seizures. This sounds very similar....

feverbee · 10/09/2018 21:10

I hope your husband gets the support he needs tomorrow. Try not to neglect yourself during this time too ❤️

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