Hi everyone,
So I've got a 3month old, and i recently found out I'm pregnant again, and we were preventing:( but have decided to try and keep the baby if everything goes ok as early days.
Anyway, on monday i had a normal day, didn't feel stressed and i was cleaning some bottles and i just really wanted to finish what i was doing and DS was crying. I went over to him and i had this thought about suffocating him. Instead i picked him up and cuddled him but it took ages for me to get the thought out of my head. I would never harm him, i love him so much and i live for his smile.
Why am i thinking like this?
I also told my partner and i can see he is different with me as he is worried about me hurting our son. We had another chat today and he said he knows i wouldn't but he was just shocked and needs to process. No ones more shocked than me!
I do tend to be a negative thinker and it would usually be before a period or something that i would feel down, but never had thoughts like this. And now because my partner is finding it hard to get over, so am i even though i know i wouldn't harm my baby.
I am reluctant to go to the doc as obviously i wouldn't wanna take any meds because of this pregnancy. I'm good at getting things off my chest and i felt better once i had told my other half, as if by saying it, it could leave my brain. But now he is dwelling on what i told him it is making me feel bad and think of it more. What can i do? Will it go away? I love my son so much 
[Edited by MNHQ to remove identifying info]