Trying to hold everything together

[Swimmerbelle]

So as the thread says I’m determined to hold everything together, but I can’t quite seem to manage it. I just want to runaway, I’ve been planning to go for weeks I’ve spent time researching how to just disappear so no one notices. I just feel so useless and like I’m not really achieving anything with my life and may as well just leave for a fresh start. I don’t really know what to do.

Do you have anyone you can talk to? I have felt this way but it usually passes. Have you seen your GP? I'm sure people will notice no matter how you do it, and their lives may be profoundly affected. Sorry you feel like this it is crap but perhaps you could work in a fresh start without running away?

The thing is when you run away, the one thing that comes with you is you, and the way you feel. I did it many years ago and I remember the first thing I realised was that I hadn't left my problems behind at all.
Is there someone you can talk to?

Thank you for replying, I have spoken to GP on and off for the last two years. I never seem to really get anywhere with them though, I find it difficult to talk and just hide everything from everyone and wait until they eventually find things out themselves. I just feel like if I just go I won’t be letting anyone down which I feel like I am doing if I talk to them. I have a wonderful family and I just don’t feel like they deserve any of this.

Do you have children? If so then they will definitely not be better without you, assuming you treat them with love and care. As PP said, running away wouldn't solve anything, it would likely make it worse as you would always feel sorrow and guilt as well as whatever else you are feeling. Can you see a different GP? How about online counselling? I really hope you can get some help. Why do you feel you need to run away?

I don’t have children no. I’ve seen a few different GPS and saw a counsellor last year unfortunately they only do 10 weeks before you’re dropped. I just feel like at least if I run away people won’t see me to be concerned and I won’t annoy anyone as I can’t seem to sort myself out.

You say you have a wonderful family. Won't they be devastated if you go? Can you talk to them? How about if you make a plan to 'reboot' your life where you are, or move if it would improve things - sometimes a fresh start can be good. You sound like you like to plan, so maybe plan some things for a 'new you?'.