Paranoid delusions

[Bhj]

Hi. I’ve posted a few times about my psychosis. I’ve been on my fourth anti psychotic, amisulpride 400g for about a month now, no improvement in thoughts. Can anyone tell me an anti psychotic that worked for them where others have failed. Thanks.

Sorry for your sister, that’s a shame but good you’re feeling up in this warm weather. I’ve been feeling more relaxed as dp been off for 3 days because of bank holiday. I’m sure by this evening the anxiety will
Creep back in when the normality of tomorrow looms closer.

Tomorrow I've got an Occupational Therapist from Vocational Services coming round, they're linked the the cmht.

The idea is to teach me strategies for coping with work.

tierra, the OT sounds good, hopefully they can give you some good tips. Slightly different, as I had support for dyslexia not anxiety at uni. I found after having meetings with a proffesional it's easier to explain your stuggles to other people, esspecailly managers. I haven't always declared dyslexia on application forms, It's a difficult one as mental health is protected under the discrimation act but that doesn't stop stigma. Sorry to hear about your sisters cat. I've had a lovely relaxing weekend with DH too but now It's back to reality, trying to function in the heat when pregnant, waiting for the end of the month when it gets busy. I'll probably increase my medication soon. My MH team have been good at having proper discussions and have said It's up to me but It's best in do it before life gets more hectic so I'm more stable in time for the baby.

How did it go with the ot Tierra? Embrace it makes sense to adjust your meds before baby arrives as
You may have side effects for a short while and so it gives you time to adjust without having a baby to look after at the same time.

I want to discuss my next increase with a doctor as the medication has a strong seditave effect on my and I need to get up and move a bit in the night so might ask about taking it twice a day rather than one dose. The last dose change was good but I am getting a dry mouth and mild constipation and bloating. The dry mouth reminds me drink often and I've got less headaches no the meds so not a bad thing.

The OT was very helpful, he suggested stress management techniques for work, mindfulness apps I can try & courses I can do for my MH problems

Sounds like a worthwhile meeting. Hopefully things improve when you start to implement them. This is
Usually my winding down time of day but had my dds parents evening this evening so need to do all the work now, washed the clothes, now in tumble dryer, cooked dinner and washed dishes, ironed clothes for tomorrow and now need to do my homework for cbt called the 2 chair challenge. Anyone else done this before?

Not heard of that!

I did try cbt in 2009 but was too depressed to do the homework at the time.

You sound very organised with all your housework bhj but then I guess you have to be as you have a family.
It's just me & the cat so I'm not so motivated to do things.

I'm simular tiara, my dog is basically a cat he's so lazy. Allthough I am starting a family and the estate agent is coming this afternoon and my husband likes it tidy so I really should do more housework.... I did a bit of cbt last October but equally was too depressed for the questionnaires. I'd not heard of that one. The most useful technique I learnt was 10 minutes 9f constructive worry time, keep thinking I should do it more often... That was before I was on medication and worrying for longer than that gave me a headake so a 10 minute timer was great.

I may sound organized with the housework but I’m really not. Where I’m too afraid to be home alone all day I have to do it when I
Get home from school run. And then I only do the things that need to be done like the dishes, washing and ironing. The rest like cleaning the bathroom and kitchen is rarely done and I only Hoover once a week. I’ve been looking at the same stain on the kitchen
Floor thinking I need to mop that up but I still haven’t done it whereas the bhj of old would have done it straight away. I’m waiting to go in
For my cbt. My therapist wants us to go out today and just sit and write down all the things and
People we notice and show me that the things I feel suspicious about isn’t how everyone else views
It so will be interesting to see how we both perceive the same things we’re seeing.

I've just increased my dose, second day, feel relaxed but odd. Be good, not sure if I've mentioned before but supermarkets are a anxiety trigger for me, I never liked shopping when I was little and recently had panic attacks shopping. I make myself go, rarely a big shop, as I know avoidance is not a helpful strategy. I'm often a different person in a shop than outside. Sometimes I am no longer a rational person and if I go without a list I will not buy what I went in to get. If I have a list, I will stand staring at it thinking its an impossible task to find everything and get the right type... Today I just popped into Tescos, saw a man wave at tomatoes and they slid down a bit. First I thought, he's got psychic powers, then I thought don't be silly he probably just saw them falling and it was a reflex of trying to catch them. I walked really slowly round the shop and got myself a drink and a snack. Compared ingredients and nutritional information. I walked slowly to the self check out, feeling really detached and working hard to not walk into people or look at anyone...as soon as I left I felt my normal self. I wasn't feeling stressed and After reading up stuff online I think this tempry detachment is a natural coping strategy. In not going to start thinking down the self diagnosis route again... Autism, bi polar, schizophrenia, borderline personality disorder etc...although I have a dyslexia diagnosis which is a processing issue so helps me understand why I zone out. I just have to remember what my grandad told be about being a daydreamer... One of the great Greek philosophers wandered absentmindedly at night...

Well done on making it to the supermarket even though you dread doing it. My dm is the same. She’ll get to the
Shops for quarter to 9
In the morning when all the kids and parents are at the school as she can’t cope with the busyness and noice.

Unfortunately for me I don't have any problems shopping in fact I love it & never have any money left at the end of the month!

But when I had really bad Psychosis in 2012 I would think that people were spying on me in shops.
It's hard to believe now but I seriously did have those thoughts.

That’s where I’m at. Every shop I go in I’m scouting for anyone that looks suspicious and convince myself they’re there for me. I had the problem of overspending in shops years ago and had ran up loads of debt with catalogues, loans and credit card. Then I got with my dp 8 years ago and he helped me pay it all off and now I make sure to keep debt free. If I can’t afford to buy it then I don’t get it.

My dm is the same bhj, supermarket shopping is not normally a hobby. It was an issue when I was a teenager and friends were bonding with their mums in shopping trips and we'd go out together and argue... She tried giving me money to buy clothes with friends but my first ever panic attack was in primark when i went to another town on the train with friends. I bet loads of people think strangers are spying on them but they'd never admit it.

Sorry to hear that bhj, I hope your new meds help with the paranoia

This week has been quite good. Nothings happened that’s made me feel like I’m being followed, I’ve had a few fleeting thoughts but have been able to rationalize them and come up with other
Possible explanations.

I've never really thought people were spying on me but I did think I was being stared at and judged and that I looked like a weirdo so just keep my eyes down...i can be more paranoid of things you can't sense, spiritual and supernatural and technology... but I've found having discussions with various people about their religion and beliefs (face to face) has helped me feel less strange, and focus better on practical things and not thinking too much.

My nephews experiences of psychosis have been like yours, spiritual and supernatural. It must be horrible thinking people are looking and talking about you. I feel exhausted this evening. An early night for me I think.

Sounds good, it's not nice but fortunately I only sometimes think like that, then I tell myself it doesn't matter if they are anyway and listen to some music along those lines. I bought dark sunglasses when I was getting headakes and feeling judged. I liked being able to watch peoples faces and not make eye contact so I could see noone was starting at me. I am very good at walking in crowds, dodging and planning my route. When stressed I like to walk in a straight line and have my elbows out slightly. My mum said I looked blind, which I hadn't even thought of, but people did move out the way more.

Sounds like it’s a method that works. I’m exactly the same with sunglasses, I can people watch without it being noticable. But on the other hand other people wearing sunglasses makes me feel nervous because I can’t be sure if they’re looking at me or not,

I don't like to do it too often as I don't want to look suspicious, it's a vicious cycle. Covering your face causes fear, terrorists, gangs, soldiers, tribes throughout history did it to be anonymous and violent... I live in a town where isis members were born and bred, rarely to Muslim women cover their face and eyes as they don't want to spread a message of fear and it probably puts them in more danger. I've spoken to a few Muslim women about covering up, interesting veiws, sometimes a headscarf is more about fashion and peer pressure than religion though in the younger women I'm sure. I'm heading out this afternoon which I'm glad of as I've not enjoyed being at home alone this morning. I changed my mental health appointment to a home visit to going to the centre, I didn't want to be waiting in and I need a new prescription anyway. I just didn't know last week if I'd be up to heading out.

Did your visit to the health centre go well? How are you feeling on the increased meds?

Hi thanks it did. I'm feeling forgetful and distracted, which I'm like normally just more with the increased medication. Eg, I'll hear a song on the radio and stop what I'm doing to listen properly, like mindfulness. I'm otherwise relaxed and feeling well. I don't know what exactly I said at the meeting, think I talked a lot about sunburn as it somehow took an hour and someone else wanted the room but we were just finishing. I did then buy some bananas at the market then register at the dentist and leave my bananas there. I only realised when I was nearly back at the car when I found a fiver and started thinking about good karma (I'd given back the wrong change for bananas). I decided they weren't worth going back for. I stalled once driving home but otherwise felt safe, had discussions with the psychiatrist about driving as I'm anxious about my concentration but I'm OK to drive because I'm good at knowing my limits.

Has anyone ever wished they could have psychosis again? I did briefly, before I started medication and wasn't sleeping well. I had euphoric feelings with my first psychosis. At the begining of my pregnacy I wanted to escape reality and responsiblity and couldn't even drink to do that. My partner was scared of my unpredictable behaviour but didn't want me to take medication so I talked to him about the risks I'd been told and said to him post natal psychosis doesn't even sound that bad, might be quite fun to escape to my own world for a bit as I was feeling smothered. Then he supported me a bit better...I'm not sure if I believed what I said but I think I did actually start taking medicine more for my family and friends than myself, I didn't want social services involved...midwife thought it was nessersary at one point.